Hide My Heart
by jessiestar
Summary: Aiden and Spencer are best friends and during the summer before senior year Aiden goes to camp and comes back different.As Aiden spends more time with the popular kids which includes Ashley Davies, Spencer has to decide whether to tag along for the ride
1. Hide My Heart

So this is yet another new story from yours truly. Not sure where it's going but hopefully it will be ok. Probably stay more light hearted and fun. Anyway please review and let me know what you think people xxxx

Hiding My Heart – Chapter 1

Spencer Carlin had spent most of her summer bored out of her mind. Her best friend had been away at basketball camp and was due back today which is why she was currently sat in his back yard waiting for him to arrive. Spencer and her best friend Aiden had known each other since they were 4. She had kicked his ass for been mean to her about something stupid and he had followed her everywhere ever since.

Spencer had been pissed at Aiden for leaving her all summer but instead of sulking in true Spencer Carlin style she had managed to move on and had actually made some female friends which was something her Mother had been pushing for years now stating that a friendship like Spencer and Aiden's is weird at their age unless they were dating. Spencer had to admit that since they both turn 16 last summer things had been a bit strange. They had even tried to kiss each other only to be both disgusted by the whole experience.

Sitting on the lawn Spencer spread her tanned legs out while reclining on to the grass thinking about how her and Aiden could spend their last weekend of freedom before their senior year in high school. Firstly they needed to catch up on their birthday celebrations which they had missed during the summer. As depressing as it was spending her first birthday away from Aiden since they were kids Spencer actually had a decent time not that she would let Aiden know that.

Spencer's inner rambling were soon interrupted when she noticed a giant figure blocking her view of the summer sky. Looking directly up her light blue eyes clashed with smiling green ones. Aiden put out his hand to help Spencer to her feet which she gratefully took noting the amount of strength in Aiden's now larger arms.

"Hey Carlin" Aiden said in a deep voice that had shocked Spencer slightly nearly as much as his longer more styled hair.

"Hey yourself" Spencer smiled as she ran her fingers through her long blonde hair.

"You gonna hug me anytime soon spaz?" Aiden teased pulling Spencer into hug wrapping his now giant arms around Spencer's newly formed curves. The two best friends pulled away and Spencer scanned her eyes over Aiden wondering when he changed so much. What she hadn't realised was that Aiden was doing the same thing. He too had noticed that his best friend now had fully developed curves in all the right places.

"So how was fat camp?" Spencer asked as they headed inside to the coolness of the kitchen.

"Dumb ass it was basketball camp" Aiden replied handing Spencer a can of pepsi knowing that it was her favourite soft drink.

"You don't play basketball" Spencer noted opening her drink.

"Correction I never used to play" Aiden said getting himself a drink.

"When did this change?" Spenc The two best friends pulled away and Spencer scanned her eyes over Aiden wondering when he changed so much. What she hadn't realised was that Aiden was doing the same thing. He too had noticed that his best friend now had fully developed curves in all the right places.

"So how was fat camp?" Spencer asked as they headed inside to the coolness of the kitchen.

"Dumb ass it was basketball camp" Aiden replied handing Spencer a can of pepsi knowing that it was her favourite soft drink.

"You don't play basketball" Spencer noted opening her drink.

"Correction I never used to play" Aiden said getting himself a drink.

"When did this change?" Spencer queried further.

"End of last semester, I was in gym and coach noticed that I was pretty decent and told my Dad who got all happy about then shipped me off to camp" Aiden explained.

"Did it suck?"

"Kind of at first because there were a load of guys from school but they actually turned out to be pretty decent and it turns out that I'm pretty awesome at basketball"

"You spent all summer playing basketball with guys like my brother?"

"Not all basketball players are jerks like Glen plus he can't play anymore because of his busted knee" Aiden pointed out knowing that this conversation was never going to be easy. It had always being him and Spencer since they were kids. They practically had all the same classes, they spent lunch together and spent all their spare time together. The kids at school had made comments but they loved each other so much that they didn't care. His only problem now was that Spencer wasn't great when their little partnership was intruded upon so now Aiden was part of the sports kids he knew things would be tough.

"Aid most of those guys have been horrible for you most of your academic career. They are only cool with you because you can play a stupid sport" Spencer pointed out.

"Say what you mean Spence" Aiden joked getting a dead arm.

"Look Spence those guys are just on the team at school and that's it. I hung with them during the summer because I couldn't sneak you into camp with me. I'll literally just play ball with them and then that's kid, I promise" Aiden promised with a sweet smile that always made Spencer feel better".

"Yep you're still a loser….I definitely don't need to worry about the cool kids stealing you" Spencer smiled as she hoped off the counter bumping Aiden with her arm.

**A/N this is just a little taster, should I continue or just ditch it?cheers**


	2. No Sleep Tonight

**Thank you for all of the reviews so far, please keep them up and I'll update more often.**

Hide my heart- No Sleep Tonight

Spencer was hanging out in her room deciding what she and Aiden should do that evening. They normally just went bowling or to the movies but she wanted to do something cool so they could celebrate their birthdays. Hearing her phone buzz next to her bed she reached over seeing that it was Aiden calling her.

"Hey dude"

"Hey Spence….I have a proposition for tonight"

"I'm not watching you play stupid sports games on the computer" Spencer moaned looking in the mirror frowning at her messy hair.

"Don't worry I learnt my lesson last time. I was actually thinking about going to the end of summer party" Aiden suggested knowing that Spencer would not be happy with the suggestion. Spencer thought about Aiden's suggestion and her initial reaction was a resounding 'hell no' but after spending the summer apart from Aiden she realised that they needed to venture out some more before they both went to college. Plus Carmen and Chelsea were going to be there. She had met them while working at the diner during the summer and they had all got along great. They all went to the same school but with Spencer and Aiden been glued to each other their paths had never really crossed.

"Ok sounds cool" Spencer replied smiling knowing that Aiden was going to make some sort of comment about her reply.

"Woah that was easy, I mean you are aware that end of summer party isn't code for bowling and pizza?" Aiden teased.

"Yes I am aware of that ass hat. I just think it sounds kind of fun plus Chelsea and Carmen will be there"

"Who are they?"

"They go to the same school as us and I worked with them at the diner" Spencer explained.

"Ok cool so that's a yes?"

"Yes"

"Cool pick you up at 7?"

"Sounds like a plan" Spencer hung up her phone and immediately text both Carmen and Chelsea to tell she would be attending the party. As Spencer awaited their replies, Spencer realised that she had never attended a school function other than a few basketball games when Glen played. Her stark realisation then led to her to start freaking out about the fact that she had nothing to wear. Panicking she ramsacked her closet trying to find something suitable but her buzzing phone interrupted her panic.

"Hey Carm" Spencer said as she threw an oversized t-shirt back into her closet.

"So you're coming?" Carmen asked clearly smiling to herself.

"That was the plan"

"What do you mean 'was'?" Carmen queried.

"Well I had every intention to but I have never been to a school thing and I have nothing to wear" Spencer confessed.

"Spencer you will look amazing in anything I'm sure" Carmen advised, the subtle flirty going straight over Spencer's head.

"I doubt that Carm…..all my clothes suck" Spencer whined dropping on to her bed.

"How about I come over and help you out?" Carmen offered.

"You would do that?"

"Definitely! Plus we can't have Cinderella missing the ball" Carmen joked trying to hide how eager she was to see Spencer without Chelsea around.

"Awesome, do you wanna come over now?"

"I'm on my way"

Less than 20 minutes later Carmen was now in Spencer's room. She had brought some clothes over for the confused blonde and they had picked out an outfit. Carmen was checking her own reflection making sure her straight dark hair was perfect and that her simple vest top looked good, satisfied with her look Carmen turned to bathroom door and waited for Spencer to appear. After what seemed like a life time she heard the door handle wiggling. Spencer walked out of the door looking shy in her new outfit pulling on the loose fitting vest top conscious that her bra was showing too much. Carmen's eyes scanned over Spencer's long legs that were now clad in tight dark denim jeans and felt herself blushing.

"You look good Spencer" Carmen complimented pulling her eyes away from the stunning blonde. Carmen hadn't mentioned to Spencer about her sexual orientation and the fact that it was focused on girls. Spencer had never asked making Carmen think that she had probably already heard the rumours around school. Carmen was pretty sure that Spencer was straight and possibly in love with Aiden so she figured she would just spend some time with the girl and see what happened.

"Thank you….so do you" Spencer returned the compliment and she wasn't lying. Carmen did look good and there was no denying it. The shorted girl carried herself with a great confidence that Spencer was jealous of as she had always been shy and quiet.

"So erm Aiden should be here any second, we should go wait outside" Spencer announced interrupting the quiet moment. Carmen nodded and followed Spencer down the stairs where Aiden was waiting as Spencer had stated.

"Wow Spence you look amazing" Aiden gasped clearly seeing Spencer as a girl rather than his dorky best friend.

"Shut up ass hat" Spencer laughed punching Aiden in the arm as she walked ahead.

"Aiden this is Carmen and Carm this is ass hat aka Aiden" Spencer did the introductions as the climbed into Aiden's jeep.

"Nice to meet you Carmen" Aiden smiled politely getting a clearly forced smile in reply.

"Soooooo you guys worked at the café together?" Aiden continued hoping to get a genuine smile from Carmen.

"Yep, Carm showed me the ropes"

"Awesome, so Carmen how long you been at King?"

"Since about the same time you guys started" Carmen replied with no emotion. Spencer and Aiden shared a look and decided to stop the small talk.

After a short 20 minute drive that seemed like a life time to everybody in the car they arrived at the beach house where the party was been held. Aiden had informed Spencer that the house belonged to two sisters from King High but he couldn't remember their names. Spencer had assumed it was probably people from Madison's crew but couldn't be sure. Climbing out of the car Spencer was amazed by the size of the house. Her house was pretty decent but this place was huge and the most stunning spot right on the beach front.

"Ready ladies?" Aiden smiled putting out his arms for both Spencer and Carmen to take hold of but only Spencer took the offer while Carmen scowled at him. Entering the large white building Spencer was overcome by the huge crowd that was already forming. The first room they entered was pretty empty but as they walked through into the kitchen the groups of people became larger especially when they reach the patio that led onto the beach. As it was summer and LA it was still pretty hot and there were a lot people in swim wear. Spencer noted how they all looked incredible like an Abercrombie and fitch advert, all white teeth and perfect bodies. Aiden grabbed them all a beer and Spencer took it like she had done it before but Aiden knew her better than that.

"You don't have to drink that Spencer" Aiden advised holding eye contact with her.

"It's ok I can handle one beer" Spencer reassured him so he dropped the topic.

"DENNISON!" A loud booming male voice yelled making Spencer jump. Spencer watched on as a small group of guys surrounded them high fiving Aiden and shouting loads.

"Hey guys wassup?" Aiden replied still high fiving his new friends.

"Glad you come man" One of the guys answered shaking Aiden's hand rather than acting like a complete buffoon. Spencer thought to herself that he was quite cute, he was tall had messy brown hair and dark brown eyes. He smiled sweetly at Spencer and put out his hand in front of her.

"Hi I'm Dan, you must be Spencer"

"Yep that would be me nice to meet you" Spencer replied politely as Aiden and Carmen watched the interaction.

"This is my friend Carmen" Spencer remembered pulling Carmen forward to meet Aiden's friend.

"Hey Carmen how you doing?"

"Fine" Carmen barely replied.

"So anyway we have a pretty sweet set up over there you guys should come join us" Dan offered pointing over to a group of people who were sat around a fire pit looking like they were all having a great time.

"Ladies?" Aiden smiled hinting that he wanted to join them.

"Sounds awesome" Spencer answered about to head off until she noticed Carmen wasn't moving.

"You coming Carm?"

"Actually I've gotta go find somebody but I'll head over in a bit ok?" Carmen replied heading off before Spencer could follow her. Spencer turned back to Dan and Aiden smiling and followed them to the group. As they got closer to group Spencer started to notice that she was about to sit down with all the popular kids from school. Feeling slightly anxious she started to come up with excuses not to join them in her head but then she remembered that she was doing this for Aiden.

"Everybody this is Aiden and Spencer" Dan announced as he sat down on the beach blanket signalling for Aiden and Spencer to follow which they did. Spencer noticed that all eyes were on them and that it was strange been looked out like a stranger when she had known most of these people since she was a child.

"You're Glen Carlin's sister right?" One girl asked which annoyed Spencer because this girl had dated Glen for a year, had been to Spencer's house for dinner yet she was acting like they had never met. Madison Duarte had been the first girl to break her brothers heart so by basic sibling law she hated the girl but decided to put that to the back of her mind and try to like her.

"Yep that's right"

"I'm Madison, this is sherry, Amy, Carly, Kyla and Ashley" Madison continued without even registering Spencer's reply. Madison's flippant introductions were picked up by a clearly annoyed brunette that Spencer sort of recognised from school/

"I can introduce myself Madison" The girl snapped walking over to where Spencer was sat and taking the empty space next to her. The girl dropped down with ease, flipping her brown hair out of her eyes and smiling at Spencer.

"I'm Ashley and I'm guessing you're Spencer" Ashley stated putting out her hand for Spencer to take which she did after mentally kicking herself. For some reason Spencer couldn't take her eyes off of Ashley's.

"Am I allowed to talk or does she talk for everybody?" Spencer joked getting a death glare from Madison but what seemed like a genuine smile from Ashley.

"Don't worry about Madison she just thinks she owns the world or something"

"Apparently so….why are you friend with her if you don't like her?" Spencer asked sipping her now warm beer.

"I'm not in fact we're pretty much sworn enemies but she's my sister's friend plus I enjoy mocking her" Ashley explained noticing that Spencer wasn't enjoying her beer.

"Seems like a good enough reason to spend time with someone you clearly don't like" Spencer teased.

"So Spencer you've never drank beer before?" Ashley stated hoping Spencer wasn't offended by her abruptness.

"Is it that obvious?"

"A little….do you want something else to drink?" Ashley offered.

"That would be great"

"Cool well there's stuff in the kitchen….erm you wanna come with?" Ashley asked as she stood up putting out her hand for Spencer to take.

"Yea that would be great" Spencer smiled taking Ashley's hand as the brunette pulled her up. Spencer informed Aiden that they were going to get another drink and he smiled letting her know he was there if she needed him but Spencer felt strangely ok around Ashley which was a miracle considering Spencer was normally very stand offish. Ashley didn't let go of Spencer's hand as she pulled through the now expanding crowds until they finished in the large kitchen. Ashley climbed behind that bar which had now been abandoned.

"So what's ya poison?" Ashley asked shaking a cocktail shaker nearly dropping it a number of times.

"I've never really drank before so I'm not sure" Spencer confessed feeling slightly embarrassed by her inexperience. She didn't know Ashley and didn't remember seeing her around school but by the way the girl carried herself she seemed to have lived a little.

"That's cool….what's your favourite soft drink?" Ashley asked clearly not bothered by Spencer's confession.

"Pepsi"

"Ok….do you like fruity things as well?"

"Like?"

"Cherry"

"Yes" Spencer nodded in agreement.

"Ok that's cool…..Ok I got it" Ashley stated as she started grabbing different bottles, pouring them into the glass throwing the bottles around for extra effect. She finally finished faffing about and to add a final touch she dropped a cherry on top, passing the glass to Spencer.

"What is it?" Spencer asked having not tried any yet.

"How about you just drink some?" Ashley instructed with mock annoyance. Spencer did as instructed and she was pleasantly surprised by the drink Ashley had made.

"That's delicious what is it?" Spencer asked drinking more.

"It doesn't have a name but it is pepsi with vodka and cherry liquor" Ashley answered taking the glass and trying some.

"Well you should name it"

"Cherry Carlin" Ashley smiled with a raised eyebrow making Spencer giggle into her drink.


	3. Sweet Disposition

Hide my heart- Sweet Disposition

Ashley had been keeping Spencer company for about an hour and the two girls were hitting it off much to Ashley's delight. Ashley had recognised from school which was impressive considering how little time she actually spent there. Her lack of school enthusiasm was mostly down to the fact that she already knew what she wanted to do with her life and didn't feel school would help her with that.

"So are you and Aiden a thing?" Ashley asked as they wondered around the different rooms of the massive house.

"What?" Spencer nearly choked on her drink.

"You're always with each whenever I see you at school and came here together" Ashley explained her question.

"We're just best friends and that would be like incest or something" Spencer answered thinking about being with Aiden.

"So you're single?" Ashley pushed.

"Yep, I don't know if you've picked on this but I'm not really one of the cool kids plus my brother was kind of a big deal around this place so guys are terrified to talk to me"

"I don't think that's because of Glen" Ashley said out loud without thinking.

"What do you mean?" Spencer asked feeling self-conscious all of a sudden.

"Well….you're gorgeous Spencer. I'm pretty sure guys are just intimidated by that" Ashley cringed at her own words hoping she hadn't freaked Spencer out with her honesty.

"You're clearly drunk" Spencer laughed blushing slightly.

"You are clearly terrible at taking compliments"

"It's kind of new to me especially coming from like the most popular girl in school"

"I'm not popular Spencer"

"Oh please you have hundreds of friends that fawn over you all day and I bet guys tell you how hot you are all the time"

"Those people put up with me because of who my Father is not because they actually want to be my friend Spencer" Ashley stated with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"Well I don't believe that for a second. I've only known you for an hour and I think you're ok" Spencer tried her best to make Ashley smile again.

"Just ok?" Ashley asked with raised eyebrows and Spencer just smiled sweetly leaving Ashley planted to her spot. The brunette soon followed Spencer who was heading back towards the beach where everybody else was still hanging out. Seeing Aiden head over Spencer smiled her happy smile and embraced her best friend who returned the hug.

"Is baby Carlin drunk?" Aiden teased taking in Spencer's goofy smile.

"Nope just relaxed" Spencer asked honestly, she had felt slightly buzzed but not stupid drunk.

"Ok, do you wanna leave or are you ok?" Aiden asked clearly checking out Ashley who was stood in perfect silence.

"Aid I'm fine, go have fun you don't need to babysit me" Spencer answered annoyed that Aiden treated her like such a baby some times.

"Don't worry Aiden I'll look after her" Ashley interrupted putting her arm around Spencer in a perfectly innocent way.

"Ok cool, why don't you guys come join the group?" Aiden offered pointing to even larger group that congregated around the open fire.

"We're cool Aiden unless you want to Ashley?" Spencer answered hoping she wasn't forcing Ashley to spend time with her plus she was pretty sure that Aiden was in to Ashley.

"We'll be over in a bit Ok?" Ashley answered signalling for Aiden to leave which he did with a big dorky smile on his face.

"He likes you I think" Spencer mentioned to Ashley figuring she could possibly play matchmaker.

"He's cute. Anyway it looks like you need a top up" Ashley replied without emotion taking Spencer's hand in her own pulling her towards the bar. As they were approaching the bar they were stopped in their tracks by Carmen.

"Oh hey Carm where did you get off to?" Spencer asked smiling at her other new friend.

"I was about to ask you the same thing" Carmen replied sounding less than happy. Her gaze was firmly fixed on Ashley and Spencer's still entwined hands and she didn't look too happy.

"I've just been hanging out with Ashley….erm Ashley this is my friend Carmen. We work at the diner together sometimes" Spencer tried introductions to lighten the mood but during her introductions she noticed that Ashley's gaze was very similar to Carmen's.

"We actually already know each other Spencer" Ashley explained regaining her normal expression.

"Oh yea?"

"Yea just from around school" Carmen added trying her best to smile.

"Ok well Ashley and I were going to get some more drinks do you want to join us?" Spencer offered unsure as to why they were both been so weird.

"Actually I was just looking for you to say I'm leaving"

"But we didn't get a chance to hang out?" Spencer whined not wanting Carmen to leave plus she felt a little bit for spending most of the night with Ashley.

"Don't worry we can hang tomorrow or something?" Carmen offered getting a smile from Spencer or hugged her goodbye.

"It's a date Carm….text me when you get home" Spencer demanded as Carmen headed off leaving the two new friends stood in near silence apart from the loud music and crowds of people.

"Ok how do you two know each other?" Spencer questioned feeling completely in the dark.

"That's not important….let's get you that drink" Ashley answered heading to the bar and grabbing some plastic cups pouring random concoctions of alcohol and fruit juice into them. Handing Spencer a cup Ashley downed her drink waiting for Spencer to do the same.

"Are you ok Ashley?" Spencer concerned by the brunettes sudden mood change.

"Yea so do you think that you could hook me up with Aiden?" Ashley asked changing the subject confusing Spencer further.

"I'll try I'm sure it won't be hard. I saw him checking you out earlier plus I doubt anybody ever says no to you" Spencer admitted seeing a glimpse of the smile Ashley was wearing earlier but it was like she mentally shook it away.

"Let's get you back to Aiden" Ashley announced heading off without waiting for Spencer to follow. Spencer followed Ashley wondering what the hell had just happened in those few short minutes to make Ashley go from vibrant to withdrawn.

Spencer spotted Aiden's smile as he saw Ashley approaching and decided that it was time for her to leave as everything had just gone sour.

"Hey girls' you ready join the rest of us?" Aiden asked clearly a little buzzed.

"Actually I was just coming to find you to say I'm leaving" Spencer replied noticing that Ashley was avoiding any interaction with her now.

"Wait and I'll come with you" Aiden offered always the gentleman.

"No you stay and hang with your friends Aid I'll call a cab" Spencer reassured him knowing that he wouldn't be ready to leave.

"Don't be silly Spence you know you're my number one"

"Aid its cool….I'll call you when I get home" Spencer added as she turned to leave, she stopped and smiled at Ashley who smiled back but not in the same way she had done earlier.

"Nice to meet you Ashley"

"Yea you too Spencer" Ashley agreed turning her attention to Aiden. Spencer watched as they started to interact, Ashley was laughing at something Aiden had said. Spencer headed back through the house so she could call a cab but she noticed that Carmen was in the kitchen talking to Chelsea.

"Hey guys….Carmen I thought you had left?" Spencer said as she joined her two friends.

"I was on my way but I saw Chelsea so I thought I'd hang a bit longer. You ok?" Carmen asked showing no signs of the anger she showed earlier.

"Yea just tired….I was just about to leave actually"

"No you can't leave Spence I've only just got here and you know we've got to dance" Chelsea replied dancing on the spot making Spencer laugh out loud.

"Come on Spencer just for a little longer" Carmen joined in with the pleading. Both girls were giving Spencer their best puppy dog eyes which was slowly melting away her strange mood.

"Ok fine…you two suck by the way" Spencer moaned as they dragged her to the make shift dance floor. After few minutes of feeling self -conscious Spencer let herself go just enjoying the music. Chelsea and Carmen were enjoying the music and all 3 of them were having fun. After a few songs Chelsea excused herself to go and get a drink leaving Carmen and Spencer to their own devices. Carmen took the chance to move closer to Spencer placing her hand on her hips pulling her so they swayed to the music in time with one and other. Spencer noticed that Carmen's already dark eyes had gone a shade darker and this new side of her gave Spencer some strange tingles that she couldn't quite place. Going with the flow Spencer opened her eyes seeing Ashley and Aiden dancing on the other side of the room. Spencer observed them as they danced and noticed how her best friend looked almost giddy taking on his new role as high school jock very well. Ashley seemed to be into Aiden and Spencer hoped that they worked out so Spencer had a reason to hang out with Ashley again.

Pulling her eyes away from Ashley and Aiden Spencer focused on what was happening in front of her. Carmen was a lot closer than she had remembered and she suddenly felt every pair of eyes in the room on them. Feeling slightly panicky Spencer backed away surprising Carmen with her sudden movement.

"You Ok Spencer?" Carmen asked in her ear sending shivers down her spine.

"Everybody is staring at us Carmen" Spencer pointed out barely raising her eyes from her feet. Carmen looked around the room noticing that their dancing had drawn the attention of most of the crowd.

"Ignore them I'm sorry. Let's go" Carmen replied taking Spencer's hand and walking her past where Aiden and Ashley were dancing only to be stopped in their tracks.

"Spencer what the hell was that?" Aiden asked pulling Spencer aside.

"Nothing we were just dancing" Spencer said pulling her arm free.

"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew what she had done" Aiden spat glaring at Carmen like she had killed his puppy. Spencer looked over at Carmen hoping she might step in and explain what was going on but she just stood staring as if she knew what was going to happen. Ashley looked on with no emotion showing on her face.

"Aiden I'm leaving…you don't know Carmen so don't judge her. Come on Carmen" Spencer snapped back taking Carmen's hand to leave.

"You don't know her either Spencer so please just trust me on this" Aiden pleading hoping his best friend would listen to him.

"You know what I'm going you can all stay here!Later" Spencer yelled dropping Carmen's hand and storming out. Carmen just sighed knowing full well that by the time they were back at school Spencer wouldn't be talking to her. Giving up she headed out in the other direction feeling her eyes well up.

Aiden stood motionless feeling bad for calling Spencer out in the way he had done especially in this sort of setting. He felt the guilt run through him and he went to go after her but Ashley stopped him.

"Let me talk to her, you're too close to her Aiden" Ashley explained heading out after the angry blonde who hadn't gotten very far once she had left the house. Ashley spotted her straight away sat on a curb throwing stones into the fountain. Approaching apprehensively she took a seat next to Spencer.

"Ok how many personalities do you have?" Spencer snapped throwing a stone in the fountain with extra power.

"You'd have to ask my therapist but I'm assuming quite a few" Ashley answered smiling but that soon disappeared when she saw just how angry or annoyed Spencer was.

"Unless you have an explanation about what happened in there you can leave"

"People gossip Spencer especially at this sort of party. Carmen just doesn't have the best reputation and Aiden is uber protective of you"

"That doesn't explain why he went all angry jock on me and why you and Carmen looked at each other like you were about to kill each other"

"Aiden just cares about you a lot, I've only just met the guy and I can already tell that. He talks about you like you're the greatest person alive. The thing between me and Carmen is a story for another time" Ashley tried her best to explain or at least make up excuses. She didn't want Spencer to know the truth and she didn't want to be around when she found out.

"You're so fucking weird"

"Thank you?"

"So do you like Aiden?" Spencer asked changing the subject knowing that she was getting nothing from Ashley tonight.

"He seems sweet and kind….very cute…terrible dancer though" Ashley giggled as she relaxed slightly.

"Well fingers crossed for you crazy kids"

"Let me drive you home?" Ashley offered nudging Spencer with her shoulder.

"You've been drinking"

"Not enough to be over the limit plus my last drink was like 2 hours ago. Come on Spencer it's the least I can do"

"Why are you being nice to me?"

"Because I like you Spencer….you seem sweet and different from most the other idiots in this place" Ashley confessed smiling her normal smile which Spencer noticed straight away.

"I like this personality Ashley…..not so keen on that moody chick from earlier"

"I'll bare that in mind. Come on lets go" Ashley jumped up putting her hand out for Spencer to take which she happily did. Ashley didn't want to let go straight away liking the way Spencer's warm hand felt in her own. Both girls' blushed slightly and loosened the hold heading towards the garage so Ashley could take Spencer home.


	4. Run Don't Walk

Ok so thank you for the reviews and adds so far they are appreciated however I do feel that maybe we can get a few more per chapter?Anyway enjoy and let me know that you're enjoying it.

Hide My Heart- Run Don't Walk

Spencer woke up feeling a little rough from her new friend alcohol. Once Ashley had dropped her home last night Spencer had pretty much passed out just wanting the night to end. The whole experienced had been extremely overwhelming and now she wasn't sure if she could handle changing her life so she could still be a part of Aiden's. She knew that Aiden would never ditch her but she had already noticed the subtle changes in her appearance and personality. It seems over the summer he was now outgoing and confident with girls, which wasn't a skill he possessed previously. In fact Aiden had never been fully aware of just how good looking he was or the reason why so many girls wanted to hang out with him. Spencer had noticed over the past few years that Aiden was cute and all the things that boys should be but she could only ever see him as a best friend maybe even a brother, much to her Mother's annoyance.

Stretching Spencer climbed out of bed making her way down to the kitchen where she could already smell her Father's famous pancakes. Rubbing her belly Spencer walked into her family kitchen smiling as she spotted her Mother and Father cooking.

"Morning Spencer" Her father chimed splashing his warming smile.

"Morning Dad…..Hey Mom" Spencer replied sitting at the breakfast bar grabbing herself a glass of juice.

"Did you have a good evening?" Paula asked handing Spencer a plate.

"It was ok" Spencer answered trying to sound chirpy but failing miserably if the expressions on her parents faces were anything to go by.

"Did you and Aiden have a fight? I happened to be up when you came home and noticed that it wasn't Aiden dropping you off?" Paula asked making Spencer giggle with her lack of tact.

"No we didn't have a fight. I was ready to leave and he wasn't so Ashley gave me a ride" Spencer explained hoping that they would just drop the topic now.

"Ashley who?" Paula asked clearly not ready to drop the issue.

"Davies"

"I hear she's bad news"

"Apparently you hear that about everybody that doesn't attend the same church as us" Spencer snapped remembering a similar conversation about Carmen a few weeks ago.

"There is no need to be rude Spencer" Paula reprimanded her youngest child.

"Spencer is right Paula. She is a fantastic judge of character and is quite capable of making friends" Arthur interrupted getting a thankful smile from Spencer.

"Ashley isn't a friend, I only met her last night but I think her and Aiden hit it off so we may become friends" Spencer explained digging into the fresh pancakes that had just been put in front of her.

"Her and Aiden but…" Paula went to talk but Spencer quickly cut in.

"If you say 'but what about you and Aiden' I will actually scream" Spencer snapped getting up to stand up and leave deciding that even her Dads pancakes aren't worth the hassle.

"I just think that you and Aiden have a history and it's a shame to throw it away"

"Me and Aiden are friends…in fact we are practically brother and sister. I do not like him in a romantic way just like he doesn't see me like that so just drop it please. I'm going back to room thanks for breakfast" Spencer was back upstairs before her parents could argue. Slamming her door in true angry teenager style Spencer dropped on to her bed sighing in frustration. Her moment of peace was interrupted by a tapping on her bedroom window. Knowing full well who it would be Spencer groaned her permission to enter. Aiden stumbled through the window in same fashion he had always done but this time he looked like somebody had kicked his puppy.

"Hey jackass" Spencer joked sitting up to look at her best friend.

"Ok I deserve that…..look I'm sorry about last night Spence. I shouldn't have gotten involved and I get that now. I should never have let you leave without me either, that was selfish and wrong" Aiden ranting much to Spencer's amusement.

"You acted like a total jerk and embarrassed me in front of a bunch of people who have no idea who I am but its ok. You were just looking out for me even if you ill-informed and more than likely wrong but I appreciate it" Spencer replied punching her best friend in the arm.

"Glad you got back ok. Did you get a cab?" Aiden asked sitting on the bean bag that was under the window.

"Erm actually no Ashley gave me a ride"

"Ashley gave you a ride…..oh" Aiden looked glumly at Spencer.

"Does that upset you in some weird way?"

"No exactly it's just that I thought we were hitting it off then she went after you and never came back to the party which is weird as it was at her house. Guess wasn't in to me"

"That isn't true dumbass, she totally told me you were cute so I think she likes you" Spencer said happy that she had made her best smile but ignoring the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"For real?" Aiden asked like an over excited puppy.

"Yes"

"Awesome….so do you wanna hang today?" Aiden asked hoping that Spencer would say yes.

"Depends on what you want to do?"

"Go to the park? Go to the beach maybe?" Aiden suggested.

"I suppose I could work on my tan before school on Monday"

"Cool, meet you outside in half an hour?"

Spencer nodded as she watched Aiden climb back out the window wondering why he didn't just take the stairs. Spencer had meant to ask Aiden what he had heard about Carmen but she was afraid to find out what it was. It must have been quite bad for Aiden to get that mad and worried about it. Spencer wanted to call Carmen but decided that she would wait until later so that the fiery girl had time to cool off. Spencer had a quick shower then threw on her favourite black and white polka dot bikini with some board shorts. She was genuinely excited about going to the beach with Aiden. Climbing out her bedroom window wanting to avoid another throw down with the parentals Spencer saw Aiden waiting outside by his car.

"Guessing you and Paula had words this morning?" Aiden asked as they climbed into the car.

"Something like that" Spencer replied wanting to avoid taking it any further. While driving Aiden filled Spencer in with some his summer camp stories and she spoke in detail about her new friends. Aiden seemed to be making an effort in listening to Spencer talk about Carmen and he seemed to be holding back any comments.

Pulling up at the beach Spencer felt relaxed straight away and her back to school worries plus her overbearing Mother soon disappeared. They found a nice spot close enough to the sea and Aiden laid out the blanket so Spencer could sun bathe. As they were unpacking some drinks and things somebody calling Aiden's name stopped them.

"Dan wassup Dude?" Aiden replied to the offender who was the same guy that Spencer had met last night. The two guys did some boy handshake and stood talking for a few seconds about the party last night. Dan stopped the conversation when he spotted Spencer taking off her board shorts. His eyes were glued to Spencer and this didn't go unnoticed by Aiden who punched Dan in the arm.

"Dude" Aiden reprimanded literally knocking Dan out of his daydream. Dan straightened himself out and smiled at Spencer who was now staring at the two guys as if they were from another planet.

"Hey Spencer nice to see you again" Dan smiled sweetly putting out his hand which Spencer shook.

"You too Dan. Are you here on your own?" Spencer asked looking around the beach.

"No actually with have a whole thing set up over by the cabanas. Ashley spotted you guys from over there and sent me to ask if you wanted to join us" Dan explained pointing to the group who were all sat together.

"Actually Dan we were just meant to be catching up today…..just the two of us" Aiden interrupted not liking that this guy clear liked Spencer.

"Oh well that's cool….erm maybe later?"

"Dan can you give us a second and we'll be over" Spencer stated smiling sweetly at Dan who smiled back and jogged back over to his friends.

"Spence I thought you just wanted to hang?" Aiden stated clearly annoyed that she had implied that they would in fact be joining them.

"And I thought you liked Ashley?" Spencer threw back.

"So?" Aiden replied clearly not getting Spencer's point.

"So Ashley is over there and she has invited us over…do the math jock strap" Spencer said as she packed back up her things. Aiden took a while but he got the point and started to follow Spencer's lead. As the approached the cabana where everyone was chilling Spencer spotted Ashley who was sat on a sun bed of her own. Spencer couldn't help but notice how much the sun complimented Ashley and how the brunette was almost staring back at her.

Ashley had spotted Aiden and Spencer heading down the beach and took the opportunity to get them to join the group. She wanted to make sure that Spencer was ok after last night plus she was bored of her present company. As she saw the blonde approaching she tried her best to look at Aiden but her eyes were drawn to Spencer. Ashley placed her aviator sunglasses over her eyes so she could let them freely scan over Spencer's body. She took in every curve and inch of flesh wishing that nobody else was around in that moment. Her thoughts were interrupted by Aiden or some other boy saying something.

"Hey Ashley thank you for inviting us over" Aiden smiled as she stood over Ashley with Spencer stood behind him talking to Dan who had already made his intentions for Spencer very clearly to Ashley already which only made her want to punch the guy.

"Yea no worries. Hey Spencer how you doing today?" Ashley asked with genuine concern in her voice. The blonde turned around immediately recognising the husky voice.

"I'm fine…..I'm sorry if I was rude to you yesterday" Spencer replied taking a seat at Ashley instruction on the sun bed. Aiden ignored Ashley's passive hello and decided her would talk to her later in the meantime he wanted to play football with the guys who were just getting started.

"Spence I'm gonna go play football is that cool?" Aiden asked just checking.

"Yea that's fine Aid go have fun" Spencer smiled as she watched Aiden walk off with the guys. With all the guys gone Spencer realised that it was now only her and Ashley left at the cabana which suddenly made her feel nervous.

"So you and Aiden huh?" Spencer said out loud just wanting to end the silence that had taken over since they had been left alone.

"What did he tell you?" Ashley asked worried that Aiden had told Spencer something that wasn't true.

"Just that he thinks you're cute and that he likes you"

"Oh….I liked him too. So have you spoken to Carmen yet?" Ashley asked changing the subject.

"Nope I figured that I would give her some time to cool off before I talk to her plus I'm not even sure what to say…..I don't even know what the hell happened"

"Didn't you ask Aiden?"

"No because what he knows is just gossip. I want to know the truth or I don't want to know at all"

"So you seem quite into Dan" Ashley noted wanting to change the subject again hoping that Spencer would never ask her about Carmen or what Aiden had been told.

"Maybe I'm not sure. He's cute but that seems as about as deep as it goes really but I suppose I'm going to have to the whole boyfriend thing at some point" Spencer answered clearly not bothered by the concept of relationships .

"Who says?" Ashley asked without thinking.

"Nobody I guess but it's just normal. You get to a certain age and you have a boyfriend and I think I'm at that age now" Spencer explained having made her assumptions from tv shows, magazines and of course her Mother. Ashley's expression was unreadable and she was shaking her head which only confused Spencer.

"Spencer you should never do something just because other people say you should or that it's expected of you. You have plenty of options in life and sometimes they might be something or someone you've never considered before" Ashley explained hoping that Spencer wouldn't read too much into her comments or ask too many questions. Ashley could've kept her mouth shut but there is something about Spencer that made Ashley want to tell her everything truthfully.

"That's true I mean I who would've thought I'd be hanging out with you of all people?" Spencer joked not wanting to think too much into what Ashley had said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ashley replied feigning hurt.

"You have ever only known me as Glen Carlin's little sister and so have most of the school" Spencer stated not knowing with Ashley was joking or not.

"Well that has definitely changed now Spencer…..I want to know you for you not because you are some basketball players little sister or best friend"

"I'm not very interesting" Spencer said shyly tucking her hair behind her ear avoiding eye contact with Ashley. For some reason this girl made her feel nervous and gave her butterflies in her stomach.

"I find you interesting and so does Dan….you two should go on a date" Ashley suddenly became aware that she was saying too much and needed to change the topic before she freaked Spencer out.

"I'll make you a deal" Spencer offered.

"Anything" Ashley said with a raise eyebrow.

"I'll go on a date with Dan if you go on a date with Aiden" Spencer suggested even though something about that sentence made her feel uncomfortable.

"Ok but only if we double date?" Ashley added knowing that tis way she would be able to go on date without having to spend any time alone with some guy.

"Ok deal" Spencer shook Ashley's hand and the two girls shared a glance for a little bit longer than necessary and then they both looked away smiling through the embarrassment.


	5. Sparks Fly

So thank you for the reviews and adds. Also for those that are concerned please know that this will be Spashley eventually and you will all be happy little readers…..I promise xx

Hide My Heart- Sparks Fly

Aiden was dropping Spencer off at home and throughout the whole journey he had been giving Spencer strange looks. After about the tenth strange look Spencer felt she had to ask what was wrong with him.

"Ok Aid what the hell?"

"What?" Aiden replied keeping his eyes on the road.

"You keep looking at me all weird" Spencer pointed out.

"Ok fine I just find it strange that you have agreed to this double date thing. I guess I just didn't think that Dan was your type" Aiden confessed.

"And who do you think is my type?" Spencer challenged raising an eyebrow daring Aiden to say something insulting.

"I don't know I just figured you go for a non-jock sort of guy"

"Like who?"

"I don't know just forget I said anything" Aiden mumbled knowing he was going to pay for his honesty.

"Look Aid I'm new to this whole dating thing…I don't know my type yet" Spencer explained knowing that Aiden didn't mean to cause any offence with his concern.

"Well I think you're far too good for him"

"Aiden you will probably think that I'm too good for any guy that I date and that's why I love ya" Spencer smiled as they pulled up outside of her house.

"Do you want me to pick you up?"

"I'm pretty sure my date is supposed to do that" Spencer giggled as she exited the car. She waved Aiden off and headed into her house remembering the heated discussion she had had with her Mother that morning. Trying her best to be quiet as she opened the door Spencer crept towards the stairs only to be stopped in her tracks by a very amused Arthur Carlin.

"Those ninja lessons not paying off huh?" Arthur chuckled much to Spencer's annoyance.

"I'll be a fully-fledged ninja any day now"

"Don't worry kiddo your Mom left for work about an hour ago"

"Awesome round 2 can wait until tomorrow morning" Spencer deadpanned.

"She means well Spence"

"I'm sure that's what Hitler's Mom used to day…..look where that got the world"

"Are you really comparing your Mother to Hitler?" Arthur asked trying to hide his amusement.

"Ok that may have been slightly dramatic but you get my point. I just get why she is so judgemental" Spencer exclaimed taking a seat on the stairs.

"You have met your grandmother right? As far as I can tell it must be in the genes"

"Please kill me if I ever get like that"

"Scouts honour. So I was thinking we could hang out tonight? One last movie night before you head back to school" Arthur offered with hope in his eyes.

"Actually Dad I kind of have a thing tonight"

"Oh right what kind of thing?"

"Like a group hang…..just a group of people hanging out" Spencer tried her best to hide the fact she was going on date but she could never lie to Arthur.

"A group of which people?"

"Well there will be me….Aiden…..Ashley and erm Dan"

"So it's not so much a group hang as it is a double date?" Arthur asked looking pleased that he cracked Spencer's terrible teenage code.

"Yes"

"Ok well have fun and be home by midnight. Also Spencer if at any point something happens that you're uncomfortable with you just call me and I'll be right there ok?"

"Thank you Dad" Spencer answered getting up and hugging her Father. Skipping up the stairs Spencer entered her bedroom and was now faced with the task of finding something to wear. She couldn't call Carmen as she had still not heard from her since the party and she didn't have Ashley's number. Spencer had a sudden brave wave and picked her phone dialling the one person that may be able to help.

"Hey girl" Chelsea answered.

"Hey Chels you busy?"

"Just at the studio painting why?"

"I was going to ask for your help"

"With?"

"Well I have a date tonight and I have no idea what to wear"

"Oooooh with who?"

"Erm Dan York"

"Cute….ok I suppose I could help. Give me half an hour and I'll head over"

"Cool"

Spencer dropped her phone on the bed and toyed with the idea of texting Carmen but then she figured that she would contact Spencer when she was ready. Spencer thought back to the night before, to when she was dancing with Carmen, to the feelings she had when they danced close. Spencer put it down the alcohol and Carmen must have thought the same thing. Spencer had never asked Carmen about her sexuality but had just assumed that she was straight just like she assumed everybody was straight. She knew that her attitude was very old fashioned but it was how she was raised but when she thought back to what Ashley had said at the beach that day Spencer decided that she needed to be more open minded and that maybe she should ask Carmen about her sexuality. Spencer's musings were interrupted by a knock at the door and after shouting a loud 'come in' she was greeted by a smiling Chelsea.

"Hey Chels thank you so much for doing this"

"No problem girl I'm happy to help" Chelsea replied waving a bag of clothes in front of Spencer.

"Awesome….Chels before we start can I ask you something?" Spencer asked unsure as to whether she should continue.

"Yep" Chelsea replied distracted by sorting through the clothes in Spencer's wardrobe.

"Is….erm is Carmen gay?" Spencer spat out feeling relieved.

"Yep…wait didn't you know?" Chelsea queried as she sat next to Spencer on the bed.

"No…she never mentioned anything plus I just assumed"

"You should never assume Spencer…well that's what my Gran always says. Carmen is pretty open about it but some people can be extremely judgemental which has resulted in people rejecting her so I guess she was just being careful"

"Like the kids at school?" Spencer asked feeling guilty that she was now possibly hanging with the kids that had been mean to Carmen.

"Some of them. Look Spencer you should talk to Carmen about this" Chelsea pointed out clearly uncomfortable with talking on Carmen's behalf.

"I want to but I haven't heard from her all day"

"The phone rings both ways sweetie"

"I wanted to but I was really confused about last night"

"What happened? You guys were both gone by the time I came back and Carmen isn't talking about it"

"Me and Carmen danced then we went to leave but Aiden tried to stop me. He was going crazy saying that Carmen had done something and that I should be careful. Carmen didn't try and defend herself so I panicked and just left"

"Carmen has spent the past 3 years defending herself against those people Spencer she's just lost her fight now"

"Do you know what Aiden was talking about?"

"Didn't you ask him?"

"No because what he knew was clearly just idle gossip made up by stupid kids. I want to know the truth"

"Nobody knows the truth except Carmen and Ashley"

"Wow that was helpful thank you" Spencer deadpanned making Chelsea smile.

"Look Spencer something happened and there were about a thousand rumours going around about it. I figured that Carmen would talk to me about if she wanted to"

"Ok I'm sorry…..so what do you wear on a double date?"

"Double date?"

"Yea we're doubling with Aiden and Ashley"

"Oh….erm cool. Here try this sundress on with these sandals" Chelsea instructed handing Spencer the items. Spencer tried her best to brush off Chelsea's reaction to who she was doubling with but there was something about it that made Spencer wonder. It also made her want to know even more about the connection between Ashley and Carmen. They were both so different which completely opposite lives that she couldn't imagine what might connect them.

Spencer pulled the pale blue sundress over her head and admired herself in the mirror making a mental note that she must go clothes shopping with Chelsea at some as the girl had taste. Slipping on the sandals Spencer headed back into the bedroom. Chelsea looked her over once and gave her the nod of approval.

"Ok well you're done Miss Carlin"

"What about make-up and hair?"

"Spencer you don't need make-up. You are absolutely stunning without it and your hair looks great" Chelsea promised.

"Chels are you gay as well?" Spencer joked getting a smack on the arm from her friend. Chelsea collected her things looking ready to leave.

"Ok funny girl I have to go"

"Thank you so much for your help Chels and I'll see you at school Monday"

"Ugh yes you will. Have fun and be careful" Chelsea added as she left the room. Spencer wondered why she would need to be careful and suddenly started to feel nervous about her first ever date. She tried to calm herself down by thinking of positive things such as Dan is cute, he seems nice and of course Ashley was there. Spencer wasn't completely sure but it was a possibility that she was more excited about seeing Ashley than she was about seeing Dan. The thought of going on a date with him hadn't really crossed her mind apart from whenever Ashley mentioned it.

Looking at the clock Spencer realised that Dan would be there in a few minutes to pick her up. Grabbing her bag she headed down the stairs seeing that her front door was open she popped her head out to see why it was open. Spencer felt her face turn a deep shade of red as she saw her Dad talking to Dan, Spencer walked over as quickly as possible to defuse the situation.

"Spencer honey Dan was just introducing himself" Arthur announced putting his arm around Spencer. Dan smiled a dorky smile that in turn made Spencer smile.

"So I can see. Hey Dan you ready to go?" Spencer asked giving her Dad the death stare knowing too well that he would've been putting Dan on the stop on purpose.

"Sure thing Spencer. Mr Carlin it was nice to meet you and I promise I'll have Spencer home before midnight" Dan promised shaking Arthurs hand. Spencer shook her head in annoyance and headed towards the car. She took the chance to look at Dan, his messy brown hair was slightly more styled and he had made an effort by wearing a button down shirt with short khakis. Spencer had to admit that he looked quite nice and that they made a good couple. He was the perfect gentleman all the way to the restaurant, keeping the conversation flowing and making sure that Spencer was comfortable. As they pulled into the parking lot Spencer immediately spotted Aiden's giant car and assumed that the other couple were already in the restaurant. Dan ran round and opened Spencer's door for her asking if he could hold her hand which she agreed to.

Once they were inside the restaurant Spencer looked around and spotted Ashley and Aiden. She looked over and it seemed like they were sat in complete silence. Aiden was awkwardly playing with a breadstick while Ashley played with her phone. They approached the table startling the couple out of their boredom. Both looked relieved to see Dan and Spencer especially Ashley whose smile was wider than Spencer had ever seen it.

"Hey you two" Ashley practically yelled as she stood up to greet them. Spencer looked over at the smiling brunette and couldn't help but admire how amazing Ashley looked in her simple black dress with her dark curls pulled up into a clip.

Ashley ran her eyes over Spencer's body trying her best to look like she was just appreciating a friends' outfit rather than admiring a friends long, golden legs. Spencer's blue eyes were sparkling and Ashley was relieved to be near them again.

"You look great Ashley" Spencer complimented as Aiden and Dan busied themselves with sports talk. Ashley grabbed Spencer's hand and started to pull her away.

"Ladies room" Ashley announced to nobody in particular not that Aiden or Dan noticed. Once inside the bathroom Ashley dropped Spencer's hand.

"You ok Ashley?" Spencer asked noticing the annoyed look on Ashley's face.

"This is one of the worse dates I have been on" Ashley moaned as she leaned against the basin.

"What? Why?"

"I don't whether it's me or Aiden but I have never not spoken for so long before. I am so happy that you are here Spencer"

"It can't be that bad. I normally can't shut him up"

"That's because you have things in common…Aiden and I don't"

"Maybe you're both just nervous?" Spencer asked not knowing what else to say plus she was trying to stop herself from just staring at Ashley which would probably end up just freaking her out.

"I'm not nervous Spencer I'm just bored. Aiden is a nice guy but he's just not my type"

"Well what is your type?"

"I'm not sure"

"If you don't like him why did you want to double date?"

"Because of you…" Ashley tried to stop herself from continuing to talk as she had already said too much.

"What do you mean because of me?" Spencer asked with furrowed eyebrows.

"Well I knew you liked Dan but you wouldn't ask him out of your own" Ashley lied hoping to hell it would work.

"Ash that's really sweet of you but you shouldn't have done that. Hell I'm only here because I was trying to help Aiden" Spencer confessed giggling slightly as she finished her sentence thinking about how stupid they both were for going on dates that they didn't want to be on.

"Let's ditch them" Ashley suggested with a devilish look in her eyes which only made Spencer smile more.

"We can't do that"

"I'll just pretend I'm ill and that you need to take me home then we can just hang out or something" Ashley continued praying that Spencer would go along with her plan. She had spent most of the day thinking of plan to get her out of this date and to get her some more time with Spencer.

"Will that even work?"

"I don't know but as long as you're not opposed to the idea we can totally pull it off"

"Ok fine but you're buying me dinner" Spencer threatened.

"Whatever you want Spencer" Ashley replied heading back out of the rest room. They approached the table as Ashley tried her best to put her drama lessons into practice. Spencer tried to fight a giggle as Ashley put on the most pathetic sick face ever.

"You Ok Ashley?" Aiden asked looking at his date with genuine concern.

"Actually Ashley isn't feeling to good guys. I was thinking about driving her home" Spencer advised hoping they didn't ask too many questions mostly because Aiden would know that she was lying.

"I'll take her Spence…you can stay here and finish your date with Dan" Aiden offered always the goddamn gentleman.

"I would prefer Spencer to take me Aiden….no offence" Ashley interrupted putting on an even less convincing sick voice which nearly killed Spencer. Luckily Dan and Aiden seemed to be buying it even if it was the worst performance of both girls' lives.

"Plus she's totally just got her period" Spencer spat without thinking as she panicked. Both boys looked completely grossed out and Ashley looked shocked at Spencer's lying Tourette's.

"Erm….ok well maybe we can do this another time?" Dan suggested as he looked at Spencer with hopeful eyes.

"Definitely Dan….thank you the date so far" Spencer replied kissing Dan on the cheek. Ashley watched on and thought that she might actually be sick any second if she had to watch any more of that. Spencer gave Aiden an arm dig and then headed out pretending she was holding Ashley up in support. As soon as they were safely in the car both girls burst into fits on giggles. After a few minutes and some deep breaths later Ashley looked over at the smiling blonde noticing how beautiful she looked.

"I can't believe we just did that" Spencer exclaimed.

"Hey if you were having fun with jock strap back there feel free to leave" Ashley jokingly offered as she leaned over Spencer to open the door only to be stopped by the blonde. Spencer kept hold of Ashley's arm for a moment while their eyes explored each other's features both noticing the subtle differences at that distance. Ashley was the first to break the staring contest knowing that her resolve around Spencer was already weakening and that wasn't something she could risk. She was already risking everything by spending time with the girl but she needed to curb her cravings for the sweet blonde somehow even if it was torture.


	6. Jealous Minds Think Alike

Hide My Heart- Jealous Minds Think Alike

Ashley drove them to a small restaurant that Spencer didn't really recognise but she didn't care she was enjoying her time with Ashley. The silence in the car though was making Spencer slightly nervous so she made her best attempt at mindless small talk.

"You excited about school Monday?" Spencer asked feeling like the world biggest dork the second the question escaped her lips. Ashley turned and smiled as Spencer sat and waited for an answer.

"Spencer I know you've only just met me but do you really ever remember seeing me around King High?" Ashley replied keeping her eyes on the road.

"Come to think of it no. Are you like 30 really? And you just hang around with high school kids to relive your youth?" Spencer laughed.

"I hate school Spencer, I hate most of the people, I hate most of the teachers and I'm not really a fan of myself while I'm there" Ashley admitted as she climbed out of the car. Spencer followed and the they entered the restaurant. Once they were seated Spencer continued with her getting to know Ashley plan.

"Why don't you like the person you are while you're at school?"

"I just don't….so you think I look 30 then?" Ashley replied wanting to change the topic as soon as she could. She couldn't help but smile when she noticed how flustered and red Spencer had turned.

"No…erm….I was just…you look incredible" Spencer stuttered hating her stupid mouth and lack of ability to control it when around Ashley. Ashley felt herself blush slightly at Spencer's comments and tried her best to let them go.

"Are you looking forward to school?" Ashley asked sipping her drink.

"Yes and No…kind of worried that I'm going to lose Aiden to the cool kids and Carmen isn't talking to me so I'll probably spend most of my senior year alone"

"Not if you hang around with me" Ashley offered.

"But we have already discovered that the bad ass that is Ashley Davies doesn't do school" Spencer noted with a cocky smile.

"Well I'm willing to change the rules if there's somebody there worth changing them for" Ashley said looking Spencer dead in the eye, neither girl moved for a few seconds. Both of them seemed to looking for a clue as to what was going on in that moment but both drew a blank.

"I'm in demand so I'll see if I can fit you in" Spencer joked wanting to kill the tension something that both girls were grateful for.

"So are you going to see Dan again?" Ashley quizzed picking at her bread roll now avoiding eye contact with Spencer.

"I guess so…..but not as a date. He was nice and sweet but not my type I guess"

"Do you have a type yet?"

"Do you?" Spencer through back getting a smile from Ashley.

"Maybe I'll let you know when I'm sure"

"You best do" Spencer was interrupted by her phone vibrating in her pocket. Seeing that it was Carmen calling her she signalled to Ashley that she was going to take the call. Standing up and moving a few feet away from the table Spencer answered her phone.

"Hey Carm"

"Hey Spencer I'm sorry about last night"

"You have nothing to apologise about Carmen….I'm sorry for reacting the way I did and for letting Aiden make me doubt you"

"Did he tell you anything?"

"No I didn't ask Carmen. Whatever has happened has clearly upset you and I want to know the truth not the rumours"

"Ok well are you free now?" Carmen asked relieved that Spencer was still talking to her.

"Actually I'm having dinner with Ashley but we can hang out later or tomorrow?"

"How about we hook up later when you're done?"

"Ok I'll call you later Carm"

Spencer hung up her phone and turned to see Ashley straightening herself up. Spencer smiled to herself knowing that Ashley had clearly been eavesdropping. Taking a seat Spencer looked at Ashley who looked almost upset or offended.

"You ok Ashley?" Spencer asked reaching her hand over to Ashley's and holding it.

"I'm fine Spencer"

"You look upset"

"I'm not, I'm fine"

"I know you were listening to my call with Carmen"

"Being stealth was never my strong point" Ashley laughed still holding Spencer's hand.

"Clearly. She asked me to hang out later, you know after we're done" Spencer explained hoping Ashley would understand.

"That's cool….if you want to go now that's cool" Ashley stated pulling her hand away from Spencer's.

"I'm perfectly happy where I am right now Ashley"

"Don't go see Carmen Spencer. Just hang out with me?" Ashley asked knowing she had no right but she knew that Carmen would end up telling Spencer about what happened. Ashley knew that things would all go wrong the minute Spencer found out.

"What do you have against Carmen?" Spencer asked getting fed up with been in the dark.

"I'd rather not say Spencer…..just trust me please"

"I don't even know you. Why would I trust you Ashley?" Spencer was getting a little bit more annoyed now. Once again Ashley's personality had changed and Spencer didn't like it. Their friendship was new and Spencer didn't want to stop hanging out with Ashley but she refused to pick between the two girls. Ashley sat staring at Spencer for a few minutes clearly trying to think of some sort of come back but her mind drew a blank. The blonde was right she didn't know Ashley and she had no reason to trust her.

"You're absolutely right Spencer. You don't know me because if you did you wouldn't be here having dinner with me, you wouldn't be spending time with me. I'll drop you home….come on" Ashley finally replied putting down some money to pay for the dinner they had ordered but were clearly never going to eat. Spencer watched Ashley head out of the restaurant and decided she needed to follow her otherwise she would never get home. Spencer angrily marched behind Ashley who was about to climb into her car until Spencer stopped her.

"What the hell just happened?" Spencer yelled placing her arms either side of Ashley who was still trying to open her car door.

"I'm taking you home" Ashley replied nearly fainting from the proximity of Spencer.

"Why? We were having fun or at least I was"

"I was having fun too Spencer but you clearly wanted to go hang with Carmen" Ashley knew she sounded like a petulant child but she couldn't help it and she really didn't care.

"Why are you acting jealous?" Spencer snapped as she racked her brains for a reason as to why Ashley was acting this way.

"Because I am jealous!" Ashley yelled back immediately regretting her words. Her brown eyes were focused everywhere but on the light blue ones that were looking for some sort of explanation.

"Why are you jealous of Carmen?" Spencer asked with her arms still either side of Ashley.

"Because once you and her get together you will never talk to me again" Ashley explained hoping Spencer would just drop the conversation.

"What do you mean get together?" Spencer queried genuinely confused by Ashley's comments. Although the more she thought about her words the more they made sense. She had sensed something at the party the other night. Carmen and her had been flirting for a while now. Spencer had sometimes played along but most of the time she just ignored it not knowing what else to do.

"Spencer she likes you…..I'm pretty sure you like her even if you're not ready to admit that yet but sooner or later you will" Ashley explained further wishing that she could just tell Spencer to forget about Carmen all together and pick her but she couldn't do that.

"Can you just take me home?" Spencer practically begged moving away from Ashley who automatically missed the closeness of the blonde. Ashley didn't reply she got in the drivers seat and took Spencer home. As they pulled up outside of the Carlin residence Ashley spotted Carmen sat on the door step waiting for Spencer. Ashley knew that as of Monday at school any hopes of having Spencer Carlin in her life were over. Taking her chance Ashley took Spencer's hand in hers and puller her into a hug. Breathing in Spencer's scent Ashley felt relaxed for those short seconds. Spencer embraced Ashley and took the hug as an apology not a goodbye as Ashley had intended. Spencer felt Ashley go to pull away but she just squeezed her tightly and placed a soft kiss on Ashley's cheek.

"See ya around Spencer" Ashley stated as the hug finally broke.

"Why are you acting this way?"

"What way?"

"You're acting like I'm never going to see you again"

"Don't worry you'll see me again but trust me you will never talk to me again" Ashley admitted knowing her words were more than true.

"We'll see about that Ash….just make sure you turn up for school Monday" Spencer ordered with one last hug as she climbed out of the car waving to Carmen who was keeping a safe distance from Ashley's car.


	7. For A Pessimist, I'm Pretty Optimistic

**Hide My heart- For a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic **

**Ashley drove home after she considered turning back about 20 times but ultimately she knew that it would do no good. She had no idea why Spencer had made her want to give up everything so quickly, everything that she had spent the past few years building. Yes Spencer was stunning but there was more than that but Ashley couldn't put her finger on. The one thing she had decided was that she needed to keep her distance from Spencer which she knew wouldn't be a problem once Carmen spoke to her.**

**Pulling into her 'family home' Ashley sighed at the expression and headed inside only to be greeted by an overly decorated and cold entrance fall. Ashley never felt at home in this house and never would. Wandering into the kitchen Ashley spotted her step Father and automatically retreated back towards the hall way but it was too late.**

"**Ashley I saw you" An older man with perfectly gelled grey hair and a pin striped suit.**

"**Nothing gets past you Jim" Ashley replied re entering the kitchen.**

"**I heard that you went on a date with Brad Dennison's son?"**

"**You heard correct" Ashley deadpanned grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge.**

"**Do you like him?"**

"**Look Jim I feel really uncomfortable discussing this with you so can we not go in to details?"**

"**Trust me Ashley I don't really care about you or your stupid date. The truth is I'm just checking that you are not embarrassing this family like you have been for the past few years" Jim replied slightly more aggressively than he had done previously. Ashley smiled glad that the real Jim was present and accounted for.**

"**Don't worry I'm the perfect little robot now…no trouble from me" Ashley agreed heading out the door and up to her room. Entering the large space Ashley immediately felt better and more at ease. Her room was the only place that felt like home and the only place that she felt safe. Her happy place was soon interrupted by her younger sister barging in.**

"**And to what do I owe this pleasure?" Ashley asked not looking at Kyla who had joined her on the bed. **

"**I just wanted to see how your date went?" Kyla replied lying next to Ashley.**

"**Do you want the real answer or the answer I should give?"**

"**I want the Ashley answer please"**

"**It was dreadful…Aiden couldn't even hold a conversation and just kept going red. Luckily Spencer and Dan arrived"**

"**How was the rest of it?"**

"**Um…well me and Spencer kind of ditched the guys and just hung out"**

"**You are impossible Ash!" Kyla snapped.**

"**I can't help he was really boring" Ashley whined.**

"**But Spencer was ever so interesting right?" Kyla asked knowing too well why Ashley ditched her date.**

"**It's not like that we're just friends….well at least we were" **

"**Oh god did you kiss her?"**

"**Don't be stupid Kyla…"**

"**I'm the stupid one? Jesus Ash you're the one that is crushing on a girl she just met. You're the one that shouldn't be doing stuff like that any more!" Kyla snapped sitting up.**

"**Don't worry Kyla you have absolutely nothing to worry about. I'm guessing that Carmen will be telling Spencer everything right about now so it's over" Ashley explained feeling the strains of the day washing over her. She knew that Kyla was just looking out for her but it she was in a frustrating situation.**

"**I'm sorry Ash….I'm just looking out for you. You never know maybe you can explain to Spencer and she will understand" Kyla tried her best to make Ashley feel better but she knew exactly what Carmen was going to tell Spencer and she knew full well that it wouldn't end well.**

"**Yep because I'm lucky like that" Ashley smiled giving her sister a hug.**

****

**Spencer approached Carmen and smiled as she noticed how tense Carmen looked.**

"**I'm glad you called" Spencer stated as they were within a few feet of each other.**

"**Me too. Look Spencer I'm sorry about last night and I'm sorry for not been completely honest with you" Carmen started wanting to get everything out before she lost her nerve.**

"**Ok so be honest now" Spencer instructed.**

"**I'm gay Spencer…um I've always been quite open about it until last year. Ever since then I have pretty much kept my mouth shut about the whole gay thing"**

"**What happened last year Carm?"**

"**I've been debating whether to tell you or not because it involves Ashley"**

"**Just tell me and I'll deal with it afterwards….please"**

"**Ok well last year I was at the start of year party at the Davies house. It was pretty lame up until the point I started talking to Ashley. I'd never really spoken to her before but she was really sweet and made me feel comfortable around all these people that I hardly knew. We played a few drinking games and she asked me about my sexuality. After a while we were hiding out in her bedroom…um…one thing led to another…I won't go into details. Anyway as we were um you know….somebody walked in. Ashley freaked straight away and I tried to calm her down. I even told her I would deny it but she was too freaked to listen and kicked me out the room. I tried to contact her over the weekend but she didn't answer my calls or anything. So on the Monday I get to school and that's when it began"**

"**What happened Carmen?" Spencer pried needing to know what happened next.**

"**Some cheerleaders dragged me into a bathroom and threatened me. They called me every name under the sun including rapist and other nasty things. Luckily they left me alone but as I walked around school trying to figure out what the hell was happening I bumped into some guy I had art with. That's when I found out that Ashley had told everybody that I had spiked her drink and was taking advantage of her at the party. My life was pretty much hell for a few months after that. Luckily high school students have a short attention span and people started to forget. Ashley tried to talk to me about it once but I was so mad that I just told her to leave me alone. So that's why me and Ashley don't talk and why Aiden got so mad last night" Carmen finished explaining and prayed that Carmen would believe her.**

"**You should've told me Carm…..if I would've known I would never have hung around with Ashley" Spencer exclaimed pulling Carmen into a hug. They stayed like that for a few minutes and it felt good to both of them.**

"**I was just worried that you might now believe me and the truth is Spencer is that I like you. I've liked since we started hanging out at the beginning of the summer. I know you probably don't see me like that and that's fine but I just wanted you to know" Carmen was rambling and Spencer couldn't help but find it cute. Throwing caution to the wind Spencer leaned in and without a second thought she kissed Carmen on the cheek just a little longer than normal.**

"**Ok I didn't expect that Spencer" Carmen stated still looking shocked.**

"**I'm sorry but I just wanted you to know that I'm not going anywhere Carmen"**

"**Look Spencer I know this may sound weird but do you maybe want to go on a date with me at the end of the week" **

"**I'm not sure Carmen…..let me just process all of this"**

"**Ok I understand….um I better get going"**

"**Wait before you go will you do something for me?" Spencer asked holding Carmen's hand.**

"**Anything"**

"**Will you let me drive you to school this week?" Spencer offered hoping it would make it clear to Carmen that she wasn't completely dismissing the idea of those two going on a date.**

"**You sure?"**

"**Never been so sure in my life Carmen. Good night" Spencer hugged Carmen one last time and headed into her house. Heading up stairs Spencer couldn't help be slightly confused about the last few hours. She had started the evening on a double date with a guy but had ditched him for a girl that she hardly knows and then she ditched that girl for a girl that needed her. Opening her door Spencer was less than pleased to see Aiden sat on her bed.**

"**Hey best friend" Aiden smiled moving over so Spencer could sit down.**

"**Hey yourself….sorry about earlier"**

"**It's cool…me and Ashley weren't really clicking plus Dan isn't good enough for you"**

"**Thank you for understanding Aid. Look I need to tell you something"**

"**Go for it dude"**

"**Whatever you have been told about Carmen isn't true….whatever Ashley told you isn't true"**

"**Ashley didn't tell me anything Spencer…one of the guys from the team told me when you were hanging out with Ashley at the party. Why do you say that?"**

"**Carmen didn't do anything to hurt Ashley….it's all lies. Don't ask me how I know just trust that I do" Spencer explained and simple head nod from Aiden made Spencer smile.**

"**Do you wanna watch a movie?" Aiden offered and Spencer just nodded her head. She made herself comfortable while Aiden put in a DVD and she relaxed into her bed. Spencer's head was spinning from all the information she had been told that evening. She knew Carmen was being truthful which explains why Ashley acted the way she did when she dropped Spencer off. Ashley clearly knew that Spencer would never want to talk to her again. Spencer was mad at Ashley and disappointed that somebody could be so mean. Pushing her anger to the back of her mind she tried to focus on how she felt about Carmen. She had always noticed how Carmen was and they always got along really well but Spencer was still unsure about the whole liking girls things. **


	8. Everything's Just Wonderful

Hide My Heart- Everything's just wonderful

Spencer had spent most of her Sunday getting everything ready for school. She has spoken to Carmen and arranged to pick her up in the morning so they could go to school together. Ever since Ashley had made the comment about Spencer getting together with Carmen she had been able to stop thinking about it. Now that it had been brought to her attention she had noticed how Carmen looked at her and more importantly she had noticed the way she had been looking at Carmen.

Spencer has also spent a lot of time thinking about what Carmen had told her about Ashley and no matter how much she wished it not to be true she knew that it was. The normal Ashley that she had spent some time with would never do such a thing but Spencer imagined that one of her many personalities probably would. Spencer was pulled from her thoughts by Aiden bounding into the room never one for knocking.

"Wassup my fellow senior?"

"Not a lot just been chillin"

"Cool so I saw Ashley today at the beach"

"Good for you" Spencer deadpanned wanting Aiden to get to the point.

"She asked about you"

"Good for her" Spencer focused her attention on her laptop.

"Look Spencer I know what you said yesterday and I trust you but Ashley isn't a bad person"

"Aiden she lied about somebody which resulted in Carmen's life been made hell. You're just blinded by her hotness" Spencer snapped.

"Maybe…anyway so you wanna ride to school in morning?"

"Actually I'm gonna drive myself and pick up Carmen along the way"

"Oh…so you two are best buds now?"

"Jealous?"

"No…maybe a little I miss hanging with you"

"Aid you went to camp and left me here alone all summer. I really like Carmen and she's a good friend to me. Just get to know her and I promise you'll like her"

"Dude she looks at me like she wants to kill every time I talk to her" Aiden pointed out.

"No she doesn't, you're just miffed that she isn't fawning over you like all the other cheer whores"

"Ashley isn't a cheer whore"

"She also isn't fawning all over you either" Spencer mocked getting a pout from Aiden.

"Thanks for that pick me up best friend. Anyway I'm out Carlin…see you in home room" Aiden smiled as he left through the window making Spencer laugh.

Spencer was up and ready for school in record time considering she had spent so much time deciding what outfit to wear. As it was her final year at high school she wanted to leave behind her normal tom boy look that she had sported for the last 17 years. She opted for tight skinny jeans, long vest top and her trusty chucks. Grabbing an apple on the way out managing to avoid her parents she climbed into her jeep wrangler and headed towards her favourite place.

Pulling up outside Carmen's house Spencer sat and waited after texting Carmen that she was there. As Carmen climbed into the car smiling Spencer handed her a frappacino from Starbucks.

"Not only are you my ride but you bring me coffee and you look hot…..today is a good day" Carmen stated as she took the coffee from Spencer. Spencer blushed and accepted the compliment as she knew she looked hot.

"You excited for school?" Spencer asked hating silence of any sorts.

"Oh yea I totally can't wait" Carmen replied in a mocking tone sounding like an extra from Clueless.

"Ok funny girl…at least feign some happiness"

"I'm happy that I get to hang out with you, I'm happy that you bought me coffee and I'm extremely happy that you wore those jeans" Carmen replied checking out Spencer's ass as she climbed out of the car. There was actually no need for Carmen to get a ride from Spencer as she lived a few blocks from school but she wasn't one to pass on spending time with the girl she was crushing on.

"My eyes are up here perv" Spencer joked tapping Carmen on the arm. The two friends both took a deep breath as they stepped away from the car. Spencer spotted Aiden and headed over towards him with a welcome pack to school coffee. He gratefully took the coffee and hugged his friend. It was during the hug that Spencer saw that Aiden had been previously talking to Ashley. The brunette averted her eyes and suddenly became extremely interested in her shoes.

"Hey Carmen how you doing?" Aiden greeted Carmen with his biggest smile trying his best to make an effort but once again he received nothing but a half smile and a grunt from Spencer's new friend.

"Thanks for the coffee Spence…totally need it"

"You're more than welcome Aiden" Spencer replied not really paying attention as her eyes were on Ashley who was now talking to another brunette. Spencer watched the two interact and recognised the other girl as Ashley's sister Kyla. Both girls looked over and Spencer so she focused back on Aiden as he rambled on about his sports schedule. Before Spencer could come up with a reply Kyla was walking over.

"Hi you must be Spencer I'm Kyla Ashley's sister" Kyla chirped as she stood in front of Spencer holding her hand.

"Hi nice to meet you" Spencer smiled sweetly.

"I've heard so much about you from Aiden and Ashley….it's great to finally meet you"

"You too Kyla. Sorry this is my friend Carmen" Spencer announced without thinking. She knew full well that Kyla would know who Carmen was. Carmen's face turned to thunder but Kyla showed no dislike at all and greeted Carmen in a very pleasant manner.

"Hey Carmen it's nice to see you again. How was your summer?"

"Just peachy….Spencer we should inside" Carmen growled not returning Kyla's dazzling smile. Spencer felt a little awkward especially as Ashley was pretending she wasn't listening to every word.

"Carmen's right…don't want to be late on my first day" Spencer stated.

"Totally, maybe you guys could eat lunch with us and you Aiden?" Kyla offered kindly.

"That would be awesome Kyla thanks for the offer" Aiden swooned clearly over his short infatuation with Ashley.

"Maybe….we'll see how it goes" Spencer answered politely knowing full well that Carmen wouldn't go for that idea especially of Ashley was there.

"Awesome, see you round guys" Spencer waved good bye and followed Carmen who had already started walking away from the group. Spencer liked Carmen and understood why she didn't want to spend time with that group but she couldn't help but think that the girl didn't do herself any favours.

Ashley watched Spencer walked after Carmen and couldn't help but hate herself for everything that happened. If all that stuff with Carmen had never had happened then Ashley may have had a chance with Spencer or they would at least be friends. Ashley wanted to kill her sister for trying to get involved but she knew Kyla's heart was in the right place.

Ashley watched as they interacted and couldn't but wonder why she was there. Ashley Davies hadn't attended a first day at school since freshman year at King High but she was today as a chance to see Spencer again.

Ashley grabbed her sister and pulled her away from the group so they weren't over heard.

"What are you doing?" Ashley hissed.

"I was talking to Spencer as you had apparently turned into a retard"

"I know that Carmen has told her what I did and I can tell she hates me"

"Jesus Ash unless you talk to her you won't know. Yes the whole Carmen thing doesn't paint you in a great light but you can show Spencer the good side of you that none of these idiots get to see. Talk to her and explain Ash, tell her the truth if you think that you can trust her"

"God I hardly know this girl and she is giving my brain ache. I'm gonna go find my locker…see you later lil sis" Ashley gave Kyla a hug, grabbed her bag off the floor and headed in the same direction that Spencer and Carmen had just gone.

"Carmen they were just been nice" Spencer tried but her words didn't have any affect.

"That's only because you were there Spencer. Don't let Kyla's smiley face and perfect hair trick you" Carmen snapped punching a code into her locker. Spencer didn't like Carmen's attitude at the moment and kind of wanted to leave.

"Look Carm I need to find my locker but we'll catch up at lunch or something" Spencer explained as she headed off leaving Carmen in her bad mood.

As Spencer was walking she felt somebody come up behind and pull her arm, dragging her towards a bathroom. Once she turned around she saw that that some one was Ashley.

"Seriously are you bi-polar?" Spencer snapped pulling her bag back over her shoulder.

"I just wanted to talk to you Spencer" Ashley pleaded knowing that this probably wasn't going to end well.

"Ashley I really don't want to talk you"

"Right now or ever again?"

"Ever! What you did to Carmen was wrong and heartless. I know I don't know you very well but I didn't think that you would do such a thing" Spencer shouted trying to get past Ashley who had locked the door.

"Look Spencer what I did sucked and I hate myself for doing it but I have my reasons"

"Tell me" Spencer challenged. Ashley wanted to tell Spencer but as they had both established they hardly knew each other. Ashley had a feeling that Spencer would understand but the words just wouldn't come out. Only 2 people knew the truth and that was Ashley and Kyla. Kyla had implemented the whole plan but Ashley allowed it to happen.

"Let me leave Ashley" Spencer demanded and feeling defeated Ashley stepped aside. Spencer stormed past nudging Ashley out of the way. Ashley watched Spencer walk down the hall way and mentally kicked her self for missing the chance to win Spencer over. Ashley wasn't even sure if the truth would actually help and deep down she knew that she was fighting a losing battle. Putting on her game face Ashley went back into the hall way and headed to her home room. As she entered the classroom her eyes were greeted by angry blue orbs and also a set eyes very similar to her own. Ashley wished in that moment that a train would burst through the hall ways and run her down.

"Hey Ash I saved you a seat" Kyla yelled pointing to the chair between her and Spencer. Aiden was also sat next to Kyla looking like a complete dork smiling at Kyla. Ashley looked at Spencer semi asking for permission but Spencer looked away. Ashley found her cocky Davies attitude and pulled out the seat between Kyla and Spencer.


	9. Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

_Thank you all for the great reviews and its nice to know that people are enjoying where this is going. If you have any suggestions or criticisms let me know. Peace x_

_Hide My Heart- Sitting, Waiting, Wishing…._

_Spencer had never wanted to go to her algebra class so much. Ashley was currently sat next to her which was all Kyla's doing and she was now less fond of the smaller Davies sister. Spencer could focused all her attention on the middle aged man doing roll call but every few seconds see could feel somebody looking at her. Getting annoyed Spencer turned her head to the left catching Ashley looking at her but instead of looking away Ashley just looked straight back at Spencer raising a challenging eyebrow. Spencer huffed and turned her attention back to the teacher trying to focus on anything but Ashley Davies._

_Ashley on the other hand had no intention of ignoring Spencer and was finding it difficult not to stare at the blonde. She tried her best to tear her eyes away for fear of seeming like some weird stalker but she couldn't help herself. The one time Spencer actually made eye contact Ashley just smirked to show Spencer that she wasn't afraid to look at her but that only seemed to anger the blonde further. Trying a new approach Ashley scribbled a quick note and slid it over to Spencer trying not to draw attention to them._

_Spencer tried to ignore Ashley nudging her arm but she was persistent so she gave in and took the note._

_I know you hate me but give me a chance to explain…please?_

Spencer re-read the note a few times and grabbed her pen to write her reply. She angrily scribbled down a reply while trying to avoid eye contact with the teacher. Passing the note back Spencer resisted looking at Ashley and continued to stare at the wall.

Ashley grabbed the note smiling to her self thinking that she may have made a break through but her smile soon faltered when she read Spencer's reply.

_Go to hell Ashley!_

Ashley felt stupid for expecting a stupid hand written note to help and figured she would try to talk to Spencer again later and if that failed then she would ditch the rest of the day to avoid the beautiful blonde. Ashley's thoughts were interrupted by the bell signalling that they should make way to first period. Before Ashley could even move Spencer was up and out of the classroom.

Ashley sat defeated in her seat knowing that getting Spencer to be her friend was going to be impossible.

"Come Ash at least try a whole day of school you might like it" Kyla smiled standing next to Ashley as she dragged herself from her seat.

"School sucks and Spencer hates me" Ashley moaned.

"Look Ashley she can stubborn and a pain in the ass sometimes. She just needs some time to chill out plus she'll soon realise that Carmen is fucking crazy" Aiden butted in having no idea why Ashley was so concerned about making things ok with Spencer. They had only known each other a few days but Ashley was acting like they were life long friends or something.

"Why are you talking?" Ashley snapped not meaning to be mean but she hadn't even realised that Aiden was still there next to Kyla.

"Just trying to help Ashley plus I know Spencer better than anybody" Aiden replied with a cocky smile knowing full well not to get in to an argument with a Davies sister.

"How much do you know her?" Ashley asked suddenly interested in Aiden.

"I know everything Ashley but I'm not going to help unless you tell my what the hell is going on?" Aiden demanded but he only made the Davies sisters laugh out loud.

"Never gonna happen jock strap. Thanks for the laugh before Algebra" Ashley laughed as she started to walk off.

"I have algebra too and you know who else does?" Aiden replied following Ashley as she tried to leave. Ashley stared at Aiden for a few seconds until Kyla nudged her into movement.

"Spencer?"

"Yep and I know all her other classes too" Aiden teased.

"Come on meat head lets go" Ashley demanded expecting Aiden to follow which he did after getting a nod from Kyla. Ashley stormed down the hall way knowing full well that she was going to get detention for being tardy but she didn't care as she would never attend detention.

Ashley pushed Aiden into the room first and the teacher looked less than happy but nothing compared the expression on Spencer's face.

"Miss Davies and Mr Dennison I assume" The young teacher scolded them. Ashley turned on her Davies smile and sauntered up to the young teacher that she had never met before.

"We're sorry Miss…..we were helping an old lady cross the road" Ashley smiled making the young lady uncomfortable.

"It's Miss Johnson and that's a lie. I was going to let you both off but for the lie you get detention today after school"

"I'm sorry Miss Johnson but I have basketball practice after school so I won't be able to attend today but I'm happy to do it any other day" Aiden chimed in flashing his pearly whites which seemed to soften the teacher slightly much to Ashley's annoyance.

"That's fine Mr Dennison. Looks like you'll be in detention alone Miss Davies" Miss Johnson smiled clearly already making her mind up about Ashley.

Ashley scowled and made her way to her seat at the back of the room which happened to be one row behind Spencer who was currently looking any where but at Ashley. Aiden managed to get a seat next to Spencer who also didn't seem impressed with him which was probably because he arrived with Ashley.

The class dragged on forever and Ashley managed to take on absolutely nothing other than Spencer likes to chew her pencil, she twirls her hair when she's listening and she likes drawing love hearts on her note book. Ashley felt like such an idiot for staring at the girl but she was taking what she could at this point. She watched as Aiden leaned in and whispered something to Spencer who only scolded him then pushed him away. Aiden seemed quite intent on getting her attention so he tried tickling her under her arm while the teachers back was turned which soon got a reaction from the now annoyed blonde. Spencer's giggles soon stopped when Miss Johnson turned around with a face of thunder.

"Miss Carlin is there something funny?" The teacher asked glaring at Spencer like she was going to kill her at any point. Aiden had distanced himself as much as possible so he didn't get into to trouble.

"Um no…I'm sorry" Spencer murmured going red which only made Ashley smile.

"Sorry isn't good enough Miss Carlin. You can join Miss Davies in detention today after school"

"I didn't do anything" Spencer argued which only seemed to anger the teacher further.

"Would you like to make it 2 days?"

"No Miss Johnson" Spencer replied giving Aiden a look that could kill. After the drama had clamed down Aiden turned and did a thumbs up to Ashley then it finally clicked what he had done. Ashley was impressed by Aiden's plan and now had the chance to talk to Spencer alone in detention.


	10. If You Should Try And Kiss Her

Thank you all for reading and reviewing. I'm glad that some of you actually like Aiden in this, I figured it was a nice change as he is normally the bad guy in every fic I read.

Anyway keep the reviews adds etc coming they make me smile x

Hide My Heart- If You Should Try And Kiss Her

Spencer couldn't believe that Aiden had played a part in getting her detention, she couldn't understand why her best friend would do something so mean. She decided not to stick around and ask as she was too annoyed. As she had a free period before lunch she decided to go and find a quiet seat on the quad so she could collect her thoughts.

She managed to find a bench under the tree which looked perfect so she parked her ass there and pulled out her book from algebra. She was too mad at Aiden throughout most of the class and she could still feel Ashley looking at her so her concentration was limited.

"Hey lady why you hiding out here?" Carmen asked as she took a seat opposite Spencer.

"Not hiding….just wanted some peace" Spencer admitting smiling for the first time that morning.

"From anyone specific?" Carmen queried clearly concerned that Spencer was annoyed at her as well.

"Aiden, Ashley, Kyla and maybe you too" Spencer confessed hoping that Carmen didn't take offence.

"I'm sorry about what I said earlier Spencer, I guess I'm just a little careful when it comes to those kids but if you're willing to give them a try then I am. You are one of the best people I know and I trust your judgement"

"I'm sure that I even trust my judgement Carmen"

"You think I'm pretty awesome or at least you used to right?" Carmen asked moving so she was sat next to Spencer.

"Maybe"

"Well I promise that you're right about that, I'm frickin awesome and so are you" Carmen smiled as she noticed just how close she was to Spencer. The proximity had not gone unnoticed by Spencer, her breathing had quickened and she was starting to blush.

"What about everyone else?" Spencer asked looking Carmen directly in the eye and swallowing the non existent lump in her throat.

"Fuck em Spencer….I'm just thinking about you and me right now" Carmen replied gently moving a piece of stray hair from Spencer's face. Carmen didn't want to push Spencer too far but the urge to kiss her was too strong and she was barely controlling herself.

Spencer almost melted when Carmen's hand softly grazed her face as she pushed her hair back into place. Spencer had never been in this situation before and had never banked on it being with a girl but even though it felt new and exciting it still felt natural. She wanted to kiss Carmen but couldn't move from her current position.

"Can I kiss you?" Carmen finally whispered completely unsure about how Spencer would react if she did without asking. Spencer just smiled back and nodded her head carefully. Carmen leaned forward and connected their lips keeping the contact light and not too forceful. Spencer could barely think straight (excuse the pun) as Carmen's soft lips pressed against hers, all her emotions were creating a whirlpool inside her but the one thing she knew was that she was enjoying this and that it wasn't as scary as she thought it would be.

Carmen pulled away after a short moment to check that Spencer was alright and not freaking out. Pulling back her dark eyes connected with calm blue pools and she couldn't help but release the breathe that she had been holding. Spencer was smiling back at her and didn't seem to freaked out.

"I've been wanting to do that since I met you" Carmen smiled as she held Spencer's hand under the table quickly scanning her eyes around the area to make sure nobody saw. She liked Spencer but she didn't want their kiss to spread around the campus.

"Really?"

"Yep and it was totally worth the wait"

"Glad you think so…so erm what now?" Spencer asked having no idea what to do after kissing somebody for the first time especially when that somebody was a girl.

"We go to our next class, then we have lunch, we do more classes and then maybe we hang out after school?" Carmen suggested.

"I can do all of the above accept hanging out after school"

"Oh" Carmen's smiled soon disappeared off her face following Spencer's reply.

"Not because I don't want to Carm…..it's just that I have detention" Spencer explained.

"You have detention? You must be lying" Carmen joked knowing full well that Spencer Carlin had never had detention before.

"Nope Aiden decided to be a jackass during algebra and I got the blame"

"Damn that sucks…..I can wait for you if you like?" Carmen offered smiling again.

"That's really sweet Carm but it's cool. We can hang tomorrow after school" Spencer answered wanting to reassure Carmen as much as possible. Checking that nobody was looking Spencer leaned in and kissed Carmen again.

Ashley had spent most of her lunch hiding in her car so she didn't have to explain to Kyla why her mood had gone from bad to really fucking bad but her luck was running thin that day. Kyla was now stood by the window looking less than impressed that Ashley had opted for turning the music up rather than letting Kyla in. Ashley gave in after a while and opened the door so Kyla could get in.

"Hey Miss sunshine why you getting all emo in your car?" Kyla asked turning the music off much to Ashley's annoyance.

"I saw them kissing" Ashley replied without looking at Kyla.

"Who?"

"Spencer and fucking Carmen"

"Really? But I thought that Spencer was straight"

"I didn't….I knew she was gay and that it would just be a matter of time until they hooked up"

"You sure they kissed and why were you watching?"

"I wasn't stalking her or anything. I was on my way to bathroom during class, I spotted Spencer on her own so I was going to head over but Carmen beat me to it. They looked so fucking cute together and she was smiling like really smiling" Ashley whined.

"Ash if you like her this much just go for it"

"It's not that easy Kyla and you know that"

"You have detention with her today so just use some of that 'charm' you have…..just be patient"

"I hate this, I hate Jim and I hate the people at this school. I hate Mom for marrying that idiot and I hate Dad for dying" Ashley cried at her sister, hating that she was so weak sometimes. Kyla held Ashley and reassured her that everything was going to be fine.

The day had dragged beyond belief for Ashley and she was now heading to detention so she could get Spencer to at least look at her. Heading into the detention room Ashley couldn't help but smile when she spotted Spencer sat on her own by the window listening to her ipod.

Ashley tried to talk but Spencer had even realised that she was in the room. She was too busy singing along under her breathe to her music. Ashley approached the blonde and tugged the headphones out of her ears. Spencer's eyes shot up to stare at Ashley.

"Sorry you were in a world of your own" Ashley stated still bending in front of Spencer.

"I'd rather be there than in any world that includes you" Spencer snapped taking her headphones out of Ashley's hands.

"Well that's unlucky because I'm in your world Spence whether you like it or not" Ashley argued back maintaining her stance in front of Spencer.

"Ugh you are so stubborn" Spencer snapped not moving from her seat.

"I'm stubborn? Spencer you're not even letting me explain myself"

"There is no excuse for doing what you did"

"You're right there is no excuse but there is a reason"

"Ok tell me Ashley, confess all, make me like you again"

"I think you still like me and that's why you're so mad"

"You couldn't be more wrong Ashley. I'm glad I found out before I actually became your friend. I'm not going to fall for your games and I'm not going to be blinded by your looks like everybody else. Just assume from now on that I hate you and that I never want to talk to you again" Spencer yelled. Ashley took her time but stood back up smiling and took a seat a few seats to the left of Spencer. Ashley took out her phone and sent a text still smiling which was clearly annoying Spencer. After a few minutes of pretending to ignore Ashley the blonde cracked and turned to look at her.

"Why are you smiling?" Spencer asked trying to hide how much it was annoying her.

"Sorry assuming that you never want to talk to me again" Ashley answered still smiling but not looking over at Spencer.

"Just answer me smart ass" Spencer demanded at which point Ashley stood up and moved over to where Spencer was sat leaning into the blondes ear.

"You think I'm hot" Ashley whispered letting the words roll gently off her tongue knowing full well the effect her raspy voice had on people. Before Spencer could reply Ashley was already heading out of the classroom. Spencer just sat and watched her leave as she tried to fight the blush taking over her face. Spencer mentally kicked her self a few thousand times for accidentally admitting to Ashley that she thought she was hot. The brunette would now have something to hold over Spencer.

Spencer spent the rest of the detention wondering how all this had happened on the first day of school. She had had her first kiss, her first lesbian experience, her first detention and had now realised that she was attracted to Ashley even though she kind of hated her. Slamming her book closed Spencer stormed out of the classroom knowing full well that no teacher would turn up with only 10 minutes left. Getting in her car Spencer drove over to Aiden's hoping that her best friend would be able to help her even if that meant admitting everything to him.

She pulled into the Dennison drive way and headed straight up to Aiden's room knowing that his parents wouldn't be there. Pushing the door open Spencer couldn't help but wish in that moment that she blind. At first she thought that she had caught Ashley and Aiden making out but it was in fact Kyla and Aiden. Spencer slammed the door shut and headed down the stairs ignoring the shouted apologies from Kyla and Aiden.

Spencer cut through the garden and went through the gap in the fence that led to her back garden. She sat next to the pool and laughed to herself thinking about how bizarre the day had been so far and just wished that the rest of the year would go more smoothly.


	11. Come Back Down

I'm on a roll today so enjoy.

Hide My Heart- Come Back Down

Spencer was sat in her back yard trying to think of a non awkward way of talking to Aiden now. She had seen him hanging out with girls before but never full on topless making out plus she thought that he liked Ashley.

"Hey dude" Aiden announced his arrival so Spencer wouldn't be too shocked. She turned and gave him her biggest smile which he returned grateful that she didn't seem too scarred.

"Hey player" Spencer teased as he took a seat next to her dangling his feet in the pool.

"So I'm sorry about that….I guess I should explain?"

"Please but please spare the dirty details I don't think my brain can handle it today"

"So I kind of hooked up with Kyla at the beach party over the weekend after you went off with Ashley"

"But you went on a date with her sister the next day" Spencer pointed out.

"I know, I suck but Kyla said it was ok plus I thought you liked Dan so I figured if I went with Ashley then you would go out with Dan but that all went a bit wrong"

"I guess that explains why you and Ashley didn't really get on"

"There's a number of reasons why me and Ashley didn't click Spence"

"Care to share"

"Don't play dumb dude, I know you"

"Not playing dumb Aid"

"She's gay Spence" Aiden explained wondering how the hell Spencer had no clue. Spencer had had some idea that Ashley might be gay from the way she acted around Spencer but Spencer just figured that her gaydar hadn't kicked in yet.

"Oh…..then why did she lie about Carmen?" Spencer asked wondering why the hell somebody would go through so much trouble to hurt somebody else.

"I'm not privy to that info I'm afraid…..maybe if you listened to Ashley you would know"

"Don't you start Aid….I don't want to hear Ashley out plus I have other things on mind at the moment"

"Sharing is caring Spence" Aiden joked nudging Spencer in the arm.

"You are such a dork but you're right. Ok….erm….I kind of kissed Carmen today and I liked it" Spencer blurted it out before she lost the courage.

"Good for you Spence"

"That's all you have to say? I just pretty much confessed that I'm like gay and all you say is 'good for you'" Spencer snapped clearing thinking that Aiden would be more shocked.

"Spencer how long have I known you?" Aiden asked turning to face Spencer.

"Like my whole life"

"Ok and in that massive amount of time do you not think that I have picked up on things?"

"So you already knew?"

"Not exactly but I had an inkling"

"How?"

"Spence you almost vomited when we tried making out….you have never shown interest in any guys which was cool when we were younger but we are both at the age now where out hormones should be running wild"

"Did you ever think that maybe you were just a terrible kisser and that maybe I'm just not a standard horny teenager?" Spencer challenged.

"I know that's not true plus you only have female posters on you wall and you just confessed to kissing a girl which isn't helping that arguments against you been gay"

"Eugh I hate that you know everything about me"

"I know something else too"

"Oh yea?"

"I know that you like Ashley whether you admit that at the moment or not" Aiden stated praying that Spencer didn't push him into the pool.

"Ok that explains you're performance in algebra" Spencer clicked and even though she loved Aiden she couldn't help but be annoyed.

"Sorry about that but I just thought I would help plus Kyla made me"

"Well I don't need help from you or Kyla so please keep your noses out" Spencer snapped annoyed that everybody was now taking a sudden interest in her existence.

"Ok….so you and Carmen?"

"She's cute and nice to me"

"If you like her then I like her Spencer" Aiden replied after considering it few a minutes. He pulled Spencer into a hug and gave her a kiss on the forehead to show his support. They stayed by the pool for a while until Paula called Spencer in for dinner.

The first few weeks at school had gone pretty well for Spencer. She had managed to pretty much ignore Ashley and she had seemed to have got the message at least for now. It helped that Ashley was rarely at school and when she was she was in her own world. Spencer had been on a few pseudo dates with Carmen. They had kept their relationship or friendship or whatever quite relaxed and platonic other than make out sessions. Spencer wasn't ready to define it even though Carmen had asked her a few times. She really liked Carmen but the idea of actually been someone's girlfriend would make everything real which was something she was putting off for now.

Aiden had been supportive and even made a bigger effort with Carmen who had also tried a little harder to be polite to him. Aiden and Kyla were officially dating and they seemed happy. Kyla had turned out to be pretty awesome and Spencer had started spending some time with her in and out of school which still seemed to bother Carmen.

Spencer was currently sat out on the quad having lunch with Aiden and Kyla who were being all lovey dovey.

"Ok you two need to get a room" Spencer moaned as she took a sip of her drink.

"I would love to but I have practise for the game tonight. You'll both be there right?" Aiden asked looking at Spencer and Kyla.

"Actually I have plans to set my eyes on fire" Spencer deadpanned in no mood to watch sweaty guys play basketball.

"Don't be lame Carlin…it's my first game of the season and would love my two favourite girls there cheering me on" Aiden begged giving his best puppy dog eyes.

"Well I'll there as the cheering is a major part of been a cheerleader" Kyla replied pointing to the outfit she was wearing which only made Aiden smile.

"Ugh whatever I'll be there…..oh hey Carm" Spencer replied seeing Carmen take a seat next to her. They shared a brief kiss still not wanting draw too much attention to them.

"Hey babe" Carmen smiled back.

"So you wanna come to the lame basketball game tonight?" Spencer asked hoping Carmen would be there to make it less lame.

"Nope would rather set fire to my eyes" Carmen answered which just made Aiden laugh.

"God you two are made for each other" Aiden stated.

"I already knew that" Carmen replied with a big smile on her face.

"Seriously though Carm…you wanna come?" Spencer asked again.

"Can't I'm working at the diner and I hate school events"

"Shocking" Kyla interrupted clearly not meaning to say anything out loud.

"What did you say cheer Barbie?" Carmen snapped still not really liking Kyla.

"I'm sorry I was just simply stating that it is absolutely shocking that lil miss anti social would be so against school events" Kyla replied trying to sound but knowing full well that her words were lined with venom.

"Yea you're right I should really get involved with a bunch of people that are so lovely and accepting of people different to them" Carmen argued back. Spencer and Aiden shared a look of annoyance both knowing that this sort of throw down was never going to go away.

"Carmen please drop it" Spencer pleaded already having enough.

"She started it…why do you always stick up for Kyla?" Carmen asked now turning her anger on Spencer.

"I don't always stick up for Kyla…..I'm just asking that you drop it" Spencer explained but her words were clearly wasted as the rage in Carmen eyes hit her.

"Consider it dropped….you know what I am so done with this" Carmen sighed as she got up to leave. Spencer apologised and followed her semi girlfriend. Carmen stormed into the bathroom and Spencer followed hoping this argument would be over sooner rather than later.

"What was that about Carmen?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yes"

"I'm fed up Spencer! I am fed up with not knowing what I am to you because I know what you are to me and I'm not afraid to tell the whole fucking world" Carmen yelled slamming the cubicle door to expel some of her anger so she didn't direct too much of it at Spencer.

"Carmen we have talked about this and you said you wouldn't push it"

"It's been weeks now Spencer and I need to know what we are before I drive myself insane. I mean we go 'dates' we make out but you pull away before it gets too far"

"So this is about sex?" Spencer snapped annoyed that Carmen was been so one minded.

"No and yes…..do you even want to have sex with me?"

"Jesus of course I do but when I feel ready to. I'm not going to jump you just because you're getting angry that's not how relationships work"

"Well we're not in a relationship so it doesn't really matter does it?" Carmen's voice was getting louder and louder the more she got upset. Spencer tried to calm herself down but Carmen's sudden outburst was really annoying her.

"Apparently not" Spencer replied as she left the bathroom. She wasn't in the mood for her last class so she decided to ditch which was also something new. Heading into the car park Spencer climbed into her car just sitting there for a minute not wanting to drive angry. Looking around the car park Spencer spotted a car that she had started to recognise without even knowing it. It seems that the owner of the car was hiding out and was oblivious to anyone around them as they sat there singing along to Dashboard confessional. Spencer climbed out of her car and headed over to the black porche on the other side of the car park. Holding in her laughter Spencer tapped on the window which caused Ashley to nearly jump out of her skin. After a moment of composing herself Ashley wound down the window looking less than impressed.

"That was mean" Ashley stated still not smiling. Suddenly Spencer felt uneasy as she didn't really know why she had disturbed somebody that she had warned off only a few weeks before.

"I couldn't resist" Spencer replied lamely feeling a little exposed as Ashley just looked at her blankly.

"That's what they all say. So am I right in believing that Spencer Carlin is ditching class?" Ashley asked climbing out of the car.

"I guess so"

"Well it normally helps in the whole ditching plan if you actually leave the premises" Ashley pointed out as she leaned against the car. She was happy she was wearing her sunglasses so she could use the disguise to check Spencer out. She looked particularly hot in her short denim skirt, black wife beater and chucks.

"I was trying to calm down before I drive. What are you doing sat here anyway?"

"You know for somebody who never wants to talk to me you ask a lot of questions" Ashley joked which only made Spencer feel like a bigger idiot than she already felt.

"You're right…..I'll leave you alone" Spencer replied and started walking back to her car only to be stopped by Ashley who grabbed her wrist but quickly letting go when Spencer actually stopped and turned to look at her.

"Don't go" Ashley pleaded actually taking off her sunglasses as she did.

Spencer took a moment and saw the desperation in Ashley's chocolate brown eyes and for some reason she couldn't resist.

"Why do you still want to talk to me after I have ignored you for weeks?" Spencer asked needing to know why Ashley was so persistent.

"Because I understand why you don't like me plus I'm a glutton for punishment" Ashley smiled putting back on her aviators.

"So seriously why are you here?"

"I promised Kyla I would go to that stupid basketball game tonight so I figured I should attend school but I got here and decided against it"

"Ashley it's like last period how long have you been here?"

"I was tired from all the internal debating about school so I had a nap" Ashley answered which only made Spencer smile.

"So you're just going to hang out here until the game?"

"I was thinking about it"

"Ok you have fun I'm going to go hit up starbucks" Spencer teased as she headed towards her car. Ashley waited a second and then followed tapping on the window once Spencer had climbed into her car. Spencer wound down the window and waited for Ashley to talk.

"You want company?"

"You wanna come with me?" Spencer asked confused by her own actions.

"Well yea unless you're not talking to me again?"

"You can come on one condition" Spencer offered.

"Name it"

"You answer every question I ask you open and honestly" Spencer advised. Ashley considered her options and figured that this may be the only chance she may ever have to talk one on one with Spencer again.

"Deal" Ashley finally answered as she pulled herself into the giant jeep wrangler.

At Starbucks…..

Ashley had insisted on buying Spencer's drink for her despite of how much the blonde protested. They found a comfy sofa to sit on and Spencer started to panic. She was worried that Ashley's may be too much for her to function. She already knew that she was only there because she was upset about Carmen.

"What's wrong Spencer?" Ashley asked looking genuinely concerned.

"Nothing why?"

"It's just that you said earlier that you were sat in you car waiting to calm down because you were too angry too drive" Ashley explained hoping that she wasn't pushing her boundaries.

"Oh…..I had an argument with Carmen"

"I thought you two were the perfect happy couple" Ashley mused trying her best to hide her smirk.

"Well that's the thing we're not technically a couple"

"What does that even mean?"

"We go on kind of dates, we make out a lot and all that but I still won't say we're girlfriends or whatever"

"Why not?"

"I have no idea"

"Look Spencer don't be so hard on yourself. When you're ready you'll be so happy to say those things but until then just be strong and reassure Carmen that you like her…I'm sure she'll understand" Ashley tried her best to pretend to be impartial but in reality she wanted hunt Carmen down and kick her repeatedly for upsetting Spencer but she knew that wouldn't get her anywhere.

"That's the thing she doesn't get it. I mean this is all new to me…god why I am talking to you about this? You didn't even have the decency to tell me you were gay when I first met you" Spencer caught herself and realised that talking to Ashley about this wasn't the best idea so she turned her anger onto Ashley.

"You never asked" Ashley replied hating that she didn't tell Spencer straight away knowing that they could be somewhere different together at this moment.

"Why aren't you out?" Spencer asked wanting answers now.

"Because it isn't apart of me that I want to share with all those idiots at that school" Ashley lied hoping Spencer would buy it.

"So instead of just coming clean you would rather make up a massive lie about somebody like Carmen who are comfortable with who they are?" Spencer asked raising her voice slightly.

"I have my reasons Spencer"

"Well stop being so fucking cryptic and tell me your reasons" Spencer snapped shocking Ashley slightly.

"Why do you even care? You've already made up your mind about me and you already hate me for what happened"

"Because when I first met you I thought you were awesome, slightly bi-polar but awesome and then when Carmen told me about what happened I felt let down because the girl I met would never have done something like that or at least that's what I thought" Spencer explained thinking back about the first time she met Ashley and she felt sad that things had changed so much already just like she had predicted when Aiden went to camp. She grateful for some changes and new friends but she missed her old life which was simple and just her and Aiden.

"I'm sorry Spencer but you need to believe me that the me you met that night was the real me" Ashley promised hoping her words would have some sort of effect on Spencer.

"Tell me the truth and I'll decide"

"Fine….the reason I did that to Carmen was because if it gets back to my step dad that I'm gay then he will cut me off" Ashley confessed.

"So you messed with someone's life for money?" Spencer asked looking less than impressed.

"No, that thing with Carmen got out of hand. We hooked up and it was cool until some idiot walked in who happened to be my step dads nephew. He knew what would happen if Jim the step dad found out so Madison came up with the plan to cover my ass. Jim still found out and he kind of kicked my ass telling how wrong it was and how bad it looked on him. Once I told him the lie he chilled out and said that if I was gay that he would pull my inheritance that I get when I turn 18. Before you judge me please believe me when I say that I'm doing any of this for money. I'm doing it so I can help Kyla…." Ashley explained some more hating herself for seeming so weak.

"How can you having money help Kyla? Surely you both get your inheritance at the same time?" Spencer queried wanting to poke holes in the story so that she didn't feel bad.

"Kyla is two years younger than us"

"But she's in the same grade" Spencer pointed out/

"She's like a freaky genius, she doesn't like anyone to know. So if I lose my inheritance there is no way that I can afford to look after Kyla and fight Jim and my Mother for custody in a few months when I turn 18. I want her to get away from that guy and this is the only way to do it. I love my sister too much and I am happy to sacrifice other people to make sure she is safe…I'm sorry if that makes me a bad person" Ashley dipped her head waiting for Spencer to say something mean or sarcastic but after looking into those blue eyes Ashley saw that Spencer looked sad.

"You're not a bad person Ashley I am for not listening to you" Spencer replied hating herself so much. She had been so mean to someone that was actually putting her own life on hold for somebody else. Even though her actions had caused some collateral damage along the way it was still a selfless act.

"Well at least you finally did…..so that's my pathetic life" Ashley tried her best to crack a joke but the mood had definitely changed since they first arrived. Ashley was almost desperate for the snide remarks and dirty looks because Spencer was currently just sat staring at her coffee.

"Spencer what's up?" Ashley asked touching Spencer's hand which shot away at the contact.

"Nothing I erm need to go" Spencer replied standing up to leave but then she remembered that she drove Ashley there and she couldn't just leave her even though she kind of wanted to.

"I can get a cab back to school" Ashley advised trying to help Spencer out.

"I'll drive you its cool" Spencer lied signalling for Ashley to follow which she did in silence.

The drive back to school was completely silent and equally as awkward for both girls. Ashley wanted a moment inside Spencer's mind so she could know exactly what the agitated blonde was thinking. Spencer pulled up next to Ashley's car without saying a word. Ashley climbed out and looked back at Spencer who was staring intently at her steering wheel.

"Spencer are you ok?" Ashley asked turning back pulling the blonde from her daze.

"Yea…it was just a lot to take on. See you around" Spencer replied driving off again not knowing where she was going exactly. She just knew that she needed to get away from Ashley as quickly as possible. After a few minutes of driving nowhere Spencer knew where she wanted to go.


	12. Hanging By A Moment

Hide My Heart- Hanging By A Moment

Spencer stood at the door and knocked hoping that Carmen would be at home before she started her shift at the diner. After a short wait Carmen finally answered looking slightly dishevelled and surprised to see Spencer.

"Spencer what are you doing here?" Carmen asked putting on a smile forgetting that only a few hours ago they had been arguing.

"I just wanted to see you and apologise for earlier" Spencer answered moving closer to Carmen.

"Really?"

"Yes really. I like you a lot Carmen and if you'll have me I'd love to be your girlfriend" Spencer beamed as the words feel from her mouth even though deep inside she wasn't even convinced by her own words. Carmen smiled and replayed the words in her head a few times.

"For real?" Carmen asked again shocked that Spencer had finally accepted what they were. Spencer didn't reply instead she leaned in and kissed Carmen who was quite happy to kiss her back. Carmen continued to kiss Spencer as she closed the front door leaving them both outside which confused Spencer.

"Can we not go inside….you know it might be a bit more private" Spencer asked breaking the kiss.

"Trust me when I say how much I would love to but my little brother is asleep on the sofa and I don't want to take him"

"Oh well why don't I give you a ride to the diner and we can hang there for a bit before your shift starts?" Spencer suggested.

"Spencer I can't I have to wait here until my Mom gets home"

"That sucks Carm…..maybe we can hang after the game?"

"You still going to that?" Carmen queried backing up slightly.

"Aiden is my best friend and he wants me there Carmen"

"I guess so….call me later and I'll see what we can do" Carmen suggested kissing Spencer on the cheek. Spencer collected herself and couldn't help but feel a little bit rejected. She had expected Carmen to be slightly more happy about them finally confirming what they were considering how much she had pushed the topic. Spencer stepped away from Carmen's arms and gave her a smile before heading back to her car feeling like a bit of an idiot for putting herself out there. The day had already been far too eventful for her liking and far too emotional.

Starting up her car Spencer headed back to school figuring that she would be there for Aiden and maybe have a catch up with him afterwards. School games were always big at King High and Spencer hadn't really attended many for a while unless she had been watching Glen. Parking her car Spencer climbed out and headed to the gym. Looking around she never realised how many people were into the whole school spirit thing especially her best friend who was currently lapping up the attention during the pre game warm up exercises. She waved at Aiden who looked stoked that had turned up. Looking at the bleachers Spencer tried to find a seat and had to settle for a spot at the far end of the gym meaning she had to walk past the cheerleaders including Kyla who was currently grabbing a drink.

"You came?" Kyla squealed as she hugged Spencer to death.

"Nothing gets past you Ky" Spencer replied releasing herself from Kyla's death grip.

"That smart mouth will get you into trouble one day Carlin"

"Fingers crossed" Spencer joked.

"So Ashley is over there….I'm sure she has some room next to her" Kyla smiled pointing at Ashley who was near the seat Spencer was heading towards. Spencer looked over and saw that Ashley was looking in her direction clearly trying to make out what they were talking about.

"Cool, I'll see you later Ky" Spencer headed over to Ashley and tried her best to keep her heart from beating out of her chest. Ashley readjusted herself in her seat preparing for Spencer to sit next to her but instead the blonde just stood next to her looking down.

"You don't have to sit next to me" Ashley stated praying that she actually would.

"I know but I want to" Spencer replied sitting down and squeezing in next to Ashley.

"I'm sorry if I said anything to upset you earlier" Ashley said turning her head to look at Spencer but as they were sat so close Spencer could feel every breathe Ashley took brushing against her neck.

"Um….you didn't do anything. My head is kind of all over the place"

"You wanna talk about it?" Ashley pried.

"Not right now…..we should just watch the game" Spencer wanted to talk to Ashley more but she didn't know what she wanted to say. Her head was spinning from Carmen's cold front and from the information Ashley had shared earlier and all she really wanted to do was hide in a dark room but that wasn't an option for her in that moment.

"Then we'll watch the game" Ashley stated looking forward as they prepared to tip off.

Ashley tried to focus on the game but it was impossible when Spencer was sat so close to her. Their legs were touching skin to skin as they were both wearing skirts and it was damn near taking all her control not to turn and kiss her. Ashley noticed out the corner of her eye that Spencer was stealing quick glances at her and she couldn't help but smile. After the first quarter Ashley had lost the will to live and was desperately bored. Thinking she was probably pushing her luck Ashley leaned in to Spencer's ear.

"This is lame you want to get out here?" Ashley whispered noticing how Spencer tensed up whenever she was close. Spencer turned and looked at Ashley nodding her head. Ashley smiled and grabbed Spencer's hand pulling her away from the bleachers and out of the gym.

"Aiden will kill me" Spencer laughed as the entered the hall ways of the high school.

"I wouldn't worry he's too busy checking out my sister in her cheerleader outfit" Ashley pointed out.

"I don't blame him Kyla looks hot….any chance she's gay as well?" Spencer joked getting a hip check from Ashley.

"You on the market again?" Ashley asked wondering if she had spoken to Carmen.

"Actually I'm officially off the market"

"Oh right how so?" Ashley asked trying to hide her severe disappointment.

"I asked Carmen to be my girlfriend and she said yes"

"Of course she did….she would be stupid not to" Ashley advised heading towards her car regretting ever making the comment in the first place.

"Well she didn't seem that impressed by it anyway" Spencer said for some reason. She had no idea why her mouth would never stop blabbing when she was around Ashley.

"What makes you say that?" Ashley started her car as Spencer put her belt on.

"I dunno I guess maybe it meant more to me than it did to her"

"Well she's stupid…..I mean if a girl like you asked me to be their girlfriend I would be doing cart wheels all around town" Ashley confessed turning red slightly.

"Unless somebody was watching right?" Spencer said feeling bad straight away for digging at Ashley when she was only been sweet.

"Right….I guess we are both hiding things"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing I'm sorry Spence look I don't want to argue with you or whatever. How about we keep your relationship with Carmen and my stupid life off the topics of conversation just for now?" Ashley suggested really not wanting for her time with Spencer to end prematurely.

"But whatever will we talk about?" Spencer laughed finally easing up.

"Good point"

"Ok how about you tell me where we are going?"

"I have no idea I was just driving….erm my parents are away so we could go hang at my place?" Ashley suggested suddenly becoming nervous thinking about having Spencer in her house again.

"Sounds cool" Spencer replied trying to hide her nerves about being alone with Ashley.

Ashley led Spencer to the beach entrance of her house knowing that Spencer had enjoyed the view the last time she was there. Spencer looked around remembering how different it had looked when it was full of drunken teenagers. The sun was just setting and Spencer knew that this was an overly romantic setting to be in so lied and told Ashley she needed to pee so they could get inside. Ashley showed her to the bathroom and told Spencer she would be in the kitchen sorting out some drinks for them. Spencer locked the bathroom door and splashed her face with cool water. She was mad at Carmen which is probably why she had agreed to be here with Ashley and she felt bad for using Ashley. But the more Spencer thought about it she wasn't using Ashley, she genuinely enjoyed spending time with her especially now she knew the truth. Spencer also knew that Ashley was attracted to her and vice versa which put them both in a difficult situation. Can you just be friends with somebody you want to kiss every time they smile? Spencer thought to her self. Shaking all thoughts from her brain Spencer headed into the kitchen where Ashley was grabbing lots of bottles ranging from pepsi to grey goose vodka.

"Thirsty?" Spencer asked startling Ashley slightly.

"Well I wasn't really sure what you wanted so I got every beverage out that we have" Ashley answered laying out to glasses with ice in them.

"How about a cherry Carlin?" Spencer suggested remembering the drink Ashley had made her when they met at the beginning of the school year. Ashley smiled back and nodded her head grabbing the ingredients.

"Two cherry Carlin's coming up" Ashley started mixing the drinks throwing the cocktails maker all over the place, dropping it a few times which only made Spencer laugh. Ashley poured the mixture into the glasses and handed on to Spencer.

Spencer took a sip and smiled at Ashley who was clearly waited for the verdict.

"It's just as good as the first one you made me"

"Glad you like….so you wanna go sit on the patio and just chat?" Ashley asked fighting her urge to smile like a giant dork.

"Sounds good"

Both girls headed outside and sat on the large swinging chair which was facing the ocean. Spencer sipped her drink before asking a question which had been on her mind since Ashley had confessed all.

"Ash….what about your Mom?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why does she let this guy be so horrible to you?"

"My Mom is pretty broken Spencer, she has been since Dad died. Jim knows this and uses it to his advantage"

"I'm sure if you told her she would help you"

"I've tried Spence but she's too far gone….wish she could hear what I'm saying" Ashley answered with real sadness in her voice.

"Well your secret is safe with me Ash"

"I just wish it didn't have to be kept secret….things would be so different right now" Ashley confessed and both girls knew what she was talking about the minute the words left her lips.

"Things don't suck too much right now" Spencer noted meaning that at least they were talking which Ashley understood but that wasn't what she wanted.

"Depends how you look at it" Ashley replied looking at Spencer. They both took the time to really study each other's faces noticing little imperfections or subtle changes that they had never had chance to notice before. Ashley placed her hand on Spencer's cheek softly stroking it loving the feel of her soft skin beneath of callused thumb. Spencer wanted to pull away for Carmen's sake but Ashley's eyes had changed to a more golden colour which had Spencer completely mesmerised. Ashley leaned even closer taking Spencer's compliance as a signal. Moving her body so she was completely facing Spencer she dropped her glass on the sand so she could get this right. The two girls were a few centimetres apart, they could feel each others sweet breathe as they dared one and other to move closer. Just as Ashley is about to close the gap and loud honking of a horn tore Spencer from her Ashley induced daydream. Ashley cursed the gods for the creation of car horns and followed Spencer's gaze to the beach where half of King High were currently heading. Ashley dropped her head back and knew that her chance was over because now Spencer would over think what had just happened. In fact Ashley was pretty sure that Spencer would probably never talk to her again. Ashley turned to see what Spencer was doing and if truth be told the girl looked panicked.

"Spence?" Ashley tried.

"I'm guessing they won" Spencer replied clearly ignoring everything that just happened.

"I guess they did…..erm I'm sorry"

"Forget it….I'm going to see Aiden" Spencer smiled as she jumped off the chair and headed over to Aiden who was carrying a keg.

"We won Spencer!" Aiden whooped and so did everyone around him.

"Wooo yea I'm proud. I need to talk….in private" Spencer replied clearly not carrying and she felt bad for been selfish but she needed to talk to someone before her head exploded. Aiden passed the keg to some other guy and followed Spencer to where all the cars were parked.

"Ok kill joy what's up?" Aiden asked leaning against his car. Spencer paced in front of him trying to think of the best way to say what she needed.

"Ash explained everything, I understand now, I know she's gay, I asked Carmen to be my girlfriend and she said yes but didn't seem bothered. I bumped into Ashley at the game, we came back here because sports are lame and we just nearly kissed" Spencer said so quickly that Aiden barely made any sense out of it but he picked up the last bit.

"Dude you and Ash should totally hook up" Aiden smiled.

"Aid you are clearly missing the goddamn point!" Spencer yelled frustrated with him and herself.

"I'm not I get it but you clearly don't!" Aiden snapped back annoyed that his best friend was so blind.

"Oh please explain of great one"

"Spence you clearly like Ashley which is why you asked Carmen to be your girlfriend right after Ashley told you everything. You freaked because you realised that it is only a matter of a few months until Ashley can be out and proud. You panicked and in order to protect yourself you asked Carmen to be for real. In reality you don't want Carmen and plus she's no good for you" Aiden explained feeling quite proud of himself.

"I really like Carmen and I have liked her for longer than I've liked Ashley"

"So you admit that you like Ashley?"

"No…..yes….No….not like that. Fuck Aiden this is all your fault"

"How the hell is this my fault?"

"If you had never gone to camp then you would never have met the cool kids. I would never have met Ashley or Carmen thus meaning that I wouldn't be dealing with this drama" Spencer explained knowing her theory was far fetched but she was grasping at straws because deep down she knew this was all her fault. She should never have asked Carmen to be her girlfriend and she should never have led Ashley on.

"Spence you and Carmen aren't even really dating so in reality you can do whatever the hell you want. Just come into the party and celebrate with me. I promise I won't leave your side unless you tell me to" Aiden pleaded knowing that Spencer wouldn't go back in unless he was there to hold her hand.

"Fine but I want drinks and no fatherly attitude from you" Spencer bargained and Aiden agreed.


	13. I Write Sins Not Tragedies

Glad you all liked the chapters I posted and thank you for all the reviews. Keep them coming x

Hide My Heart- I Write Sins Not Tragedies

Ashley watched as Spencer headed over to Aiden and she knew that she may have missed her chance with the stunning blonde. Ashley knew that what she was doing was wrong and selfish but there was something about Spencer that brought out the worst in her. It was like she couldn't see anyone but Spencer and that was all she cared about. In reality though Ashley knew she needed to back off and let Spencer live her life with or without her especially now she had asked Carmen to be her girlfriend. Ashley looked across the sand and saw her sister heading towards holding two beers.

"Jim will kill us if he finds out about this Ky" Ashley stated taking the beer and practically downing it.

"He won't find out Ash so don't worry. So you and Spencer left the game together?" Kyla tried her best to be subtle but that was never her strong point.

"Nothing gets passed you Sherlock"

"So you're going to be like that?"

"Like what?"

"All funny with the silly jokes so you can avoid answering my questions"

"I have no idea what you're talking about"

"Come on Ash spill…you know you will eventually anyway"

"We just hung out and she told me that her and Carmen are now 'official' or whatever…..thenwealmostkissed" Ashley murmured the last part praying Kyla didn't hear but her younger sister would be able to pick up something like that from miles away.

"You two almost kissed?" Kyla practically screamed.

"Yes but the whole of our school ruined it and she ran like crazy" Ashley explained ripping the label off her beer through frustration.

"Oh….do you really think it was a good idea to try and kiss her after she just told you about her and Carmen?" Kyla asked hating to be the bad guy but knowing it was needed.

"I didn't mean to we just got caught up in the moment. I didn't plan on it happening Ky, I was just happy to be spending some time with her plus she was very much part of the 'moment'" Ashley argued.

"I don't doubt that for the second Ashley. I'm just saying that maybe you should back off a bit and let Spencer be"

"If I do that then I might never get her"

"Ash she might not be yours to have. She clearly likes Carmen and they seem happy together" Kyla tried her best not to upset Ashley but she was concerned that her sister was getting to invested in something that may never happen and she didn't want to see Ashley hurt.

" I get don't worry I'm officially backing off from now on but I still want to be her friend"

"Then be her friend….maybe that's all she needs"

Ashley thought about what Kyla had said but some of things that Spencer had told her were stuck in her head. Like the fact that Carmen didn't seem overly excited when Spencer asked her to be her girlfriend or the fact that she would rather argue with Spencer than kiss her. Admittedly Ashley made up the last part to make herself feel better but she still found it strange.

"You're right…..I'm going to let it go for now" Ashley promised not really believing her own words. Kyla and Ashley headed into the house in search of more beer. Ashley weaved through the crowds holding her sister's hand until she spotted the giant that was Aiden so she headed in that direction. As the crowd cleared Ashley saw who he was talking to and she knew straight away that everything she had just said to Kyla was crap because there was no way she could stay away from Spencer Carlin…..unless her stupid girlfriend is there. Ashley's smile soon faded as her eyes met with Carmen's. She wanted to turn and run as she saw Carmen snake her arm around Spencer's waist causing the taller girl to lean in and kiss her softly. Ashley wanted so badly to be the one getting those sorts of kisses from Spencer but instead she was stuck on the outside watching. Kyla squeezed Ashley's hand pulling her out of daze and forcing her to put on her best party smile.

"Hey guys" Kyla chimed kissing Aiden on the lips. Spencer finally saw the Davies' sisters and she immediately averted her eyes to the floor clearly crumbling under Ashley's gaze.

"Hey Ky…..hey Ash" Spencer replied to which Ashley just nodded.

"Hey Carmen it's nice to see you here" Kyla lied doing her best to be a buffer in the situation.

"I was desperate to see my girlfriend and apparently she wanted to stay here" Carmen replied with not a single hint of kindness in her voice which only annoyed Ashley further.

"I need more alcohol" Ashley announced to the group feeling the need to escape from the intense pressure that was pulsating through her. She quickly walked through the crowd and headed as far away as she could ignoring her sister calling her name.

Spencer watched as Ashley walked off and felt bad for feeling relieved that Ashley had left but the awkwardness still lingered in the air as Kyla offered out sweet smiles to everyone.

"You wanna dance Spencer?" Carmen asked pulling Spencer's hand and not waiting for an answer. Spencer smiled apologetically at Aiden and Kyla then followed her girlfriend. Carmen started dancing to the music pulling Spencer closer in a very protective way. Spencer went with the flow, enjoying the music but she couldn't help but let her eyes scan the room looking for a certain brunette. Carmen must have noticed that Spencer was distracted because soon after dancing she had pulled Spencer to the hall way.

"What is up with you Spencer?" Carmen asked in quite calm tone which didn't match the look in her eyes.

"Nothing Carm….I'm just having fun" Spencer lied hoping her girlfriend would buy it.

"What is up with you and Ashley?"

"Nothing she just gave me a ride here"

"She drove you here? Why?" Carmen questioned sounding slightly less calm.

"I sat by her at the game and we got bored so we came here to hang out" Spencer didn't want to lie to Carmen, well not completely anyway. What had happened between her and Ashley earlier was just a slight mistake that Spencer would never let happen again.

"You hung out with her on your own?"

"Yes we're just friends Carmen I don't get why you're acting like this" Spencer said leaning in closer and kissing Carmen. She pressed Carmen against the wall pinning her arms to her side which seemed to have the desired effect on the small latino girl. Carmen moaned into Spencer's kiss and pulled away smiling brightly.

"I'm sorry baby…I didn't mean to get all jealous on you" Carmen apologised and kissed Spencer again both of them getting lost in the moment. Spencer finally pulled away for air but leaned back in placing soft kisses down Carmen's exposed neck sending shivers down her spine.

"You have nothing to be jealous of Carm" Spencer promised in between kisses.

Ashley wished that she could erase what she had just seen from her brain. Watching Spencer pin Carmen against a wall did nothing for her mood. Ashley wanted so badly to be the one that Spencer was pinning against the wall. Downing her shot Ashley watched as Spencer headed upstairs alone while Carmen worked the room. Ashley watched as Carmen checked out other girls so she took the chance to follow Spencer up the stairs. Heading around the other stair case Ashley made her way towards the hall way where she knew Spencer would be lost looking for the bathroom. As predicted Ashley spotted the blonde walking alone and opening a number of different doors and closing them again once she had realised that she had the wrong room. Ashley casually walked down the hall way hoping that Spencer would not realise that she had followed her.

"The guest bathroom is down the stairs" Ashley stated keeping a safe distance from Spencer who turned around clearly startled.

"Oh I'm sorry….I'll um head back down" Spencer stuttered turning in the opposite direction preparing to leave. Ashley walked slightly quicker to catch her up.

"I can make an exception for you though" Ashley said pointing to her bedroom door. Spencer looked towards where Ashley was pointing and even though she knew she shouldn't she headed inside the room. Ashley moved aside so Spencer could enter the room, closing the door slightly Ashley followed.

Spencer looked around the large, spacious room and knew straight away that this was Ashley's room. Even though she barely knew the girl everything just screamed Ashley from the dark purple walls to the instruments scattered around.

"So this is where Ashley Davies' sleeps?" Spencer joked checking out the photos on the drawers.

"Sometimes yes…..so the bathroom is just there" Ashley replied pointing to the en-suite at the far end of the room. Spencer didn't move straight away she just continued looking around the room.

"What do you mean sometimes?" Spencer queried still looking around the room.

"Sometimes well less often now I sleep in other peoples rooms" Ashley answered hoping her answer would have the desired effect.

"Male or female?" Spencer asked already knowing the answer.

"Strictly female"

"I thought you couldn't be seen with girls in that way"

"Hence the not really sleeping here part"

"Wow, so where do you meet girls?"

"Mostly gay bars and sometimes at the college bars depending on my mood" Ashley explained noticing the hint of jealousy in Spencer's voice. Ashley let her eyes roam over Spencer's exposed legs using every ounce of self control not to do something they would both probably regret. Spencer realised the tension that was building in the room and she knew she needed to get out of there. In fact she knew that she should never have been there in the first place.

"I should pee" Spencer nearly yelled as the staring contest became too much for her. Ashley just smiled and pointed towards the door she was now standing next to. Spencer headed over slowing down when she got next to Ashley who refused to move too far.

"Spence about earlier I should apologise" Ashley blurted knowing that she needed to talk about what almost happened so that they could clear the air.

"No need it's fine"

"It's fine that we almost kissed just after you asked Carmen to be your girlfriend?" Ashley asked annoyed by Spencer's dismissive attitude.

"It was just a stupid moment that shouldn't have happened and will never happen again" Spencer advised staring straight into Ashley's eyes to give the impression that she was serious but there was something in Ashley's chocolate eyes that almost made her want to falter, to give in.

"Well it did and I'm pretty sure it's already happening again and it will happen over and over" Ashley said moving closer to Spencer feeling brave from the alcohol in her system. Ashley was no past the point of caring, she wanted to be the one kissing Spencer.

"No it's not and I won't let it happen again"

"For fucksake Spencer it's happening! How can you not feel whatever this is?" Ashley shouted getting annoyed that Spencer was so badly in denial.

"Did you ever think that I don't feel the same way you do Ashley? Did you ever consider for a second that I don't want you the same way you want me?" Spencer snapped back knowing her words would hurt but it's the only she thought she could end this situation. Ashley's eyes flashed with hurt but after a few seconds a smirk appeared on her face.

"Kiss me and prove it" Ashley challenged knowing that Spencer would have to give an answer some way.

"That's stupid Ashley I'm not kissing you….I have a girlfriend"

"Just kiss me and if you tell me that you feel absolutely nothing then I will back off and accept I was wrong" Ashley promised waiting for Spencer to say yes. Spencer thought about the offer and without much consideration she closed the small gap that was between her and Ashley. Losing her hands in Spencer's hair Ashley kissed back with everything she had hoping that this one kiss would win Spencer over. Ashley followed Spencer's pace not wanting to go too fast. Ashley leaned in and used her weight to press Spencer against the wall pulling on her hips so they were as close as possible. Without warning Spencer pulled away breaking the kiss but still looking into Ashley's eyes.

"I felt nothing Ashley…let it go" Spencer whispered into Ashley's ear just before she exited the room. Ashley stood frozen to the spot unable to move or say anything as she watched Spencer leave slamming the door behind her.


	14. Misery Business

You all rock by the way! The reviews and I love that you are all have so many thoughts and opinions. This helps me write as it brings things to my attention that I may have missed while writing so a huge thank you to you all.

I would thank you all individually but I'm sure you would prefer if I just stop yapping and carried on writing.

I'm also sorry if I've made you all hate Spencer in this story, that wasn't my intention and I promise to make her more likeable so you guys actually what her to get with Ashley.

Peace.

Hide My Heart- Misery Business

Spencer slammed the door to Ashley's room and stood in the hall way fighting the urge to go back in there and kiss her again. Kissing Ashley was so different to kissing Carmen, there was so much pure passion and need. Spencer regretted the decision straight away and was mad at her self for been such a selfish idiot. Yes she liked Ashley but she was with Carmen and that was that. She knew that leaving in the way she did was harsh but she panicked and in her own twisted way she blamed Ashley. Knowing deep down that Ashley wasn't to blame Spencer still felt some anger towards the girl on the other side of the door. Ashley knows that she is with Carmen and she didn't respect that but neither did Spencer. Spencer knew what she had to do so she headed back towards the party spotting Carmen talking to some people by the front door. Marching through the crowd Spencer approached Carmen taking her by the hand and pulling her outside.

"You ok Spencer?" Carmen asked rubbing Spencer's arm affectionately.

"Can we go now?" Spencer pleaded as she tried her best to hide her now emotional state.

"Not until you tell me what's up" Carmen replied noticing Spencer's demeanour.

"Nothing is up with me I just want to leave….please"

"Ok let's go" Carmen agreed holding Spencer's hand again and leading her to her car which was parked at the end of the drive way.

Ashley decided to stay in her room after Spencer left concerned that she would be faced with watching her with Carmen again. Ashley had experienced enough rejection for one night although she had had one slight victory. Ashley had kissed plenty of people she didn't feel anything for before and none of those kisses had felt like the one she had just shared with Spencer. That kiss was full of everything a good kiss should be full of including passion, affection, desperation, anger and pleasure. 

Ashley knew that she had probably fucked up everything up in that moment of drunken bravery even with the reassurance that Spencer felt something. She knew now that Spencer wouldn't be talking to her and that everything would return to the way it was less than 48 hours ago which upset Ashley but she knew it was for the best….or at least she hoped it was. She did doubt her theory about Spencer liking her and probably would more and more as time went on. 

Lying back on her bed Ashley heard her bedroom door open and saw her sister walking in. Kyla casually walked across the room and dropped down on Ashley's bed.

"Aiden and the guys are kicking everybody out" Kyla advised as she made herself comfy.

"Cool" Ashley replied not looking at Kyla.

"So you going to tell me what happened now or do I really need to spend a hour begging you?"

"I kissed her….she kind of kissed me too" Ashley answered simply hoping that would be enough information but from the expression on Kyla's face Ashley knew this wouldn't be the case.

"I thought we agreed you would back off" Kyla reminded her older sister.

"We did but then I saw them together and it set off something inside"

"That would be a mixture of hormones and alcohol Ash"

"I kind of challenged her to kiss me"

"How did that work out for you?"

"She kissed me and then told me she felt nothing" Ashley explained.

"I'm sorry Ash…I guess that's it" Kyla said as she played with Ashley's hair which was something she had done since they were kids.

"I guess so" Ashley replied with a smile creeping on to her face.

"Why are you smiling? Or do I not want to know?" Kyla pondered clearly knowing that Ashley was going to drop a bombshell.

"Ky the way she kissed me…..it was incredible and I know she felt it too"

"Ash I hate to sound mean but she has told you and it's time that you actually listened to her sweetie. I get that you like her but you need to let this go" Kyla begged really not wanting Ashley to get her hopes up. Kyla was sure that Spencer did like Ashley but she had a girlfriend which Ashley needed to respect.

"What if I let it go and I miss the chance to be with her?"

"What if you keeping pursuing her and you get rejected more and more? What if Carmen finds out and starts spreading rumours? What if Jim finds out and we lose everything? Just stop and think about it Ash please. I love you and want you to be happy but at the moment Spencer isn't going to help that so please just forget her"

Ashley thought about what Kyla was saying and if she was honest with herself she had considered all of those questions. She had thought of every possible outcome and most of them ended with Ashley not getting Spencer. Admitting defeat for now Ashley shook her head and wiped away a stray tear that had managed to force itself free.

"Ok….I'll forget Spencer Carlin" Ashley whispered as she wiped her eyes signalling for her sister to leave her alone now.

**Sorry for the short chapter but I wanted to get the story moving and this bit needed to be dealt with. Review to get a special prize of a high five whoop x**


	15. There's No Such Thing As Accidental

Hide My Heart- There's No Such Thing As Accidental Infidelity

Spencer scanned through her emails as she casually sat at her desk avoiding her English lit homework. She had been sat at her desk for 2 hours now doing anything to avoid her Mother even if it was homework. She had told her parents just under 2 months ago that she was gay and that Carmen was her girlfriend. They had reacted as she had predicted which included tears, harsh words and quotes from the bible at least that was how Paula had reacted. Her Father on the other hand had been nothing but supportive knowing that this was pretty huge to his only daughter and that she needed him. In reality Spencer wasn't quite prepared for coming out but Carmen was getting less patient and Spencer gave in just make Carmen happy. The weeks that had passed since they became official had been up and down which wasn't completely Carmen's fault. Spencer was finding life difficult without Aiden always been there but she had accepted things sooner or later. Aiden had Kyla and his sports whereas Spencer had Carmen and work.

It didn't help that no matter how much Spencer pleased with them Aiden and Carmen refused to get on with each other. Ever since the party at the Davies beach house Aiden's attitude towards Carmen had developed from dislike to pure hatred and he would never tell Spencer why. Carmen on the other hand had always been quite evasive when it came to Aiden which Spencer put down to jealousy.

Since coming out things in the Carlin house hold had been tense to say the least and it was making for a miserable home life for everybody. Spencer was spending a lot of time at the diner or hanging out at Chelsea's art studio working on a gift for Carmen. It was the Friday before their 2 month anniversary and Spencer had been working on a gift for Carmen. Spencer knew that 2 months wasn't a long time but she needed something focus on so she didn't crumble under the pressure of her poor family life and missing her best friend.

Then there Ashley Davies who Spencer hadn't really spoken to since their kiss. They had politely greeted each other whenever they saw each other but that was it. Spencer had caught Ashley checking her out during the classes she actually attended but that wasn't very often. Plus whenever Ashley was at school Carmen would always be within a few feet of Spencer making sure that no interaction between the two girls was achieved. Spencer had noted how Ashley seemed slightly happier and she so badly wanted to know why but she wouldn't let herself ask.

Aiden had tried to talk Spencer about Ashley a few times but Spencer changed the subject, mostly for self preservation. Spencer missed her best friend so much but realised that their relationship was due to change at some point and she just had to accept that sad fact.

Deleting random emails stating that so and so had commented on her faceboook status Spencer stopped when one name popped up that she was expecting an email from.

Spencer cautiously clicked on the box which opened the email taking in a deep breathe as she did so.

**Hey Party people,**

**It's my 18****th**** birthday this Saturday and you are one of the lucky few that are invited to the party which will be at EGO. Open bar and no need for ID!**

**Your name will be added to the list so be there anytime after 9pm!**

**Peace, Love and Empathy**

**Ashley xoxoxox**

Spencer reread the email a few times hoping that she may find a hidden message meant just for her in the part invite but she sadly concluded that the email was generic and probably sent to everybody in Ashley's contact list.

Spencer had already planned a special night for her and Carmen on Saturday so she knew she wouldn't be there but the thought had crossed her mind. She knew how important turning 18 was to Ashley and seeing her have her moment meant a lot to Spencer. Closing her laptop Spencer climbed into bed picking up her iphone and she did something that she only did in private and not very often. She went on to her face book and typed in Ashley's name knowing that the brunette didn't lock her profile to people she wasn't friends with. Spencer smiled at Ashley's dorky profile picture and read some of the most recent comments knowing that this was the only way she could keep up with the girl. It wasn't the first time that Spencer fell asleep like this and it probably wouldn't be the last.

Kyla smiled smugly to herself as she hit send on the email invitation for Ashley's birthday party. They had decided last minute to throw a party well at least Kyla had, Ashley didn't really have a choice in the matter. Kyla was determined to make Ashley celebrate especially as it was a double celebration. Not only was Ashley turning 18 but she now had her inheritance thanks to a fast move by an old friend of their Father's. After the party they were looking to get their apartment so they could be free of Jim and his ways.

Kyla had noticed the change in Ashley's personality since the kiss with Spencer. She had went to school less than she normally did and was spending a lot more time at the gay bars and college parties. Kyla was happy that Ashley was 'moving on' but she knew that in reality Ashley hadn't moved on she was just avoiding everything and everyone.

Kyla and Aiden were going strong and they were both genuinely happy which was great for her but not so great for Aiden's friendship with Spencer. Kyla had tried her best to get them to spend more time to together but Aiden refused to spend any time with Spencer if Carmen was there and Carmen was always there. Aiden's dislike of Carmen seemed to have peaked after the party when everything changed. He went from general apathy to pure hatred but he refused to explain to anybody not even Kyla. The one thing he did say was that he wanted to break up Carmen and Spencer for good so he could get his best friend back and so Carmen couldn't hurt Spencer.

"Did you send it?" Aiden asked as she hovered over Kyla's shoulder as she sat at her computer desk.

"It's all done Aiden but I doubt she will come anyway plus with the way Ashley is at the moment" Kyla reasoned as she hugged her boyfriend.

"I'll talk to her if I get any where near her without that little troll near her" Aiden spat showing his distain towards Carmen at it's ugliest. Kyla found it quite endearing as Aiden never said a bad word about anybody especially not a girl.

"Calm down there angry boy. You know if you told me why you hated her so much I may be able to help you deal with your anger" Kyla tried knowing she was probably going to fail based on past experiences.

"Ky you know I can't tell you because then you'll tell Ash"

"Tell Ash what?" Ashley asked as she strolled into the room staring Aiden down.

"Erm nothing" Aiden lied clearly failing. Ashley had grown to really like Aiden and she knew he was good for her baby sister plus she had spent a lot of time with him while he had been hanging around the house all the time. He knew about Jim's nasty tendencies so he refused to leave Kyla or Ashley alone in the house when he was there. Ashley thought it was sweet and wished she had her own person to protect her from the bogeyman.

"Aid you suck at lying which is good for me. Tell me what you're talking about"

"Good luck Ash I've been asking him for weeks now and he still won't spill" Kyla whined standing next to her sister. They both placed their hands on their hips and stared at Aiden waiting for him to crack.

"I really tell you guys sorry"

"Why not?"

"Because people will get hurt if I tell and I don't want to hurt people"

"Aiden I swear to god I'll hurt your pretty little boy face if you don't tell us" Ashley threatened actually scaring the 6foot 2 guy a little.

"The night at that party….the one after the basketball game"

"Trust me that night is burnt into my brain" Ashley grunted ignoring the flashbacks that screamed through her brain.

"Well I saw Carmen hooking up with this other chick. I asked her about it and she told me that 'that's just how I roll' " Aiden quoted Carmen even pretending to flick his hair which made both girls fight a giggle. Once Ashley had fought the giggles away she felt her body fill with anger. She was angry that Carmen could do that to Spencer, that anybody could do that to Spencer . She wanted to find the little midget and kick her in the shin but Ashley knew that this wouldn't get her anywhere.

"That little bitch" Kyla spat as she paced the room.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Ashley asked keeping her anger in tact knowing it wouldn't help.

"Because I knew if I told you that you would probably do something about and as much as I hate that bitch I didn't want to hurt Spencer. She seems to really like Carmen and I didn't want to ruin that for her"

"Aiden her finding out now is not going to make it any better. Cheating is cheating" Kyla pointed out with a slightly threatening tone to her voice.

"I know but with everything that happened between her and Ashley I figured that she would probably let Carmen off through guilt or something" Aiden explained hoping his reasons made sense.

"He's right Ky. Spencer felt guilty over what happened between us and that was just one kiss. If Aiden had told her then Spencer wouldn't have gotten mad, she would've forgiven Carmen because of the guilt" Ashley agreed with the giant idiot for once. He knew Spencer better than anybody and she was grateful for that advantage at that moment in time.

"So go tell her now" Kyla demanded.

"Aiden don't move…he can't tell her. She needs to find out for herself" Ashley stated.

"Ok how do we get that to happen?" Kyla asked hoping there would be some sort of awesome plan that she could pick a cool outfit to match.

"We don't Kyla, it's none of our business. Spencer has made her feelings towards me pretty clear and we haven't spoke to for like 2 months. People like Carmen slip up eventually and they get caught trust me I used to be like that"

"Ash you still are like that"

"No I'm not"

"You're out at those clubs nearly every night and you never go to school"

"Kyla I haven't been out picking up girls you idiot. I've been studying for GED"

"Then why have you been going to school like once a week?"

"No reason" Ashley lied.

"She's been going so she can see Spencer" Aiden interrupted get a death glare from Ashley.

"So much for backing off Ash" Kyla laughed.

"Whatever I'm going out" Ashley replied flipping them the bird and heading out of the house. She wanted so badly to run to Spencer and tell her about Carmen's extra curricular activities but she knew this wouldn't help plus she promised herself she would back off and leave Spencer to her devices. As much as it sucked not seeing the blonde very often and not talking to her properly for nearly 2 months she knew it was the right thing to do. Ashley had buried herself in studying for the past couple of months which was a good distraction from her infatuation with Spencer. She had her moments of weakness sometimes when she actually went to school where she would steal glances of the girl with the best blue eyes she has ever seen but that was it. It would be easy for her to give in now but she knew it wasn't the right time so she had stay strong.


	16. Save It For The Bedroom

I'm on a roll today!Whoop. Also a little bit annoyed that I didn't go to the l word convention in Brighton last weekend as the cast of Girltrash! Were there promoting the film!gutted!

Anyway on with the story…..

Hide My Heart- Save It For The Bedroom

Spencer was in the process of adding the final touches to her surprise for Carmen. She was filling Chelsea's art studio with candles to set the mood. She had decided that tonight would be the night that she would finally lose her virginity. She was nervous and scared but excited that it would be with somebody that she cared about. The topic had been discussed on a number of occasions mostly just after Spencer had cooled off one of their many hot and heavy make out sessions.

Spencer heard a knock at the door and headed over assuming it would be Carmen and was shocked to see her best friend standing there smiling widely.

"Aiden….what are you doing here?" Spencer asked feeling a little unsure about his visit mostly because they hadn't really spoken for a while.

"I went over to your house and you weren't there. Glen was there and he told me you were probably here and I wanted to see you….I miss you Spence" Aiden explained.

"I miss you too Aid but now is a bad time"

"Oh….sorry. What are you up to?" Aiden asked as he poked his head through the door knowing straight away what was happening which turned him a deep shade of red.

"It's our anniversary…..I thought I'd do something special for Carmen" Spencer explained shyly.

"That's cool….I was going to ask you to come a party but I guess this is top priority huh"

"What party?"

"You know what party Spence so don't play dumb it doesn't suit you" Aiden pointed out with a cocky smirk which only reminded Spencer just how well he knew her.

"Sorry Aid I can't. Carmen will be here any minute, she's just running late" Spencer advised checking the time on her phone noting that she was already 30 minutes late.

"I'll just hang until she gets here. I can help you light these candles" Aiden offered hoping Spencer took him up on his offer.

"Don't you need to be somewhere"

"I'm right where I need to be Spence so let me in already" Aiden smiled as he bounded into the room. Spencer stepped aside and handed him a lighter, they both started lighting candles mostly in silence. Aiden filled in Spencer about his relationship with Kyla and she was pleased that were genuinely happy. As much as she missed him at least she was able to rest a sure that Kyla made him happy. She told him about her life and about her parents. Aiden took the chance to apologise for not being there for her when she came out but Spencer knew that really that was her fault because she never talked it over with him before hand.

After about another half an hour Spencer checked her phone that was buzzing in her pocket. She read the text message from Carmen and head fell. Aiden took the phone from her hand and read the message.

**Carmen: Soz S cant make it cam u l8er x**

Aiden felt is blood boil as he read the message and he immediately hugged Spencer who was clearly crest fallen.

"Maybe she didn't realise you had organised something special" Aiden tried his best to make excuse for somebody he knew wasn't good enough for his best friend.

"She knew Aid…..she just had something more important to do I guess" Spencer replied glumly which only broke Aiden's heart even more.

"Spencer why do you let her do this to you?"

"Do what?"

"Treat you like this. I've seen the hushed arguments at school and they are happening a lot more frequently"

"It's just how we are…..all couples have their issues" Spencer naively. Aiden knew that Spencer genuinely believed that it was ok to be treated like that. He knew that the guilt of kissing Ashley made her put up with more than she normally would.

"Ok best friend we are going out and you cannot argue with me. You are going to text Carmen and tell her how upset you are because you need to tell her Spencer otherwise she will keep doing it. After you have done that I want you to put on your party face"

"I can't go to Ashley's birthday party Aiden"

"You were invited so we're going. No arguments"

"I'm not dressed for a club"

"Then I'll take you home first and then we'll go. Spence I am going to have an answer for every argument you have so just accept this" Aiden said as he blew out some of the candles.

"I forgot how stubborn you are but thank you for being here" Spencer hugged Aiden and they left the studio. Spencer popped back inside and grabbed the photo collage she had made for Carmen dumping it in the bin on the way to Aiden's car. While she was at it she grabbed her phone and composed a text to Carmen.

**SpenceC: Don't worry abt it.I'm goin out wit Aid don't bother callin me**

Spencer felt relieved that she had finally said something remotely angry to Carmen. She had held back for so many weeks for fear of upsetting her girlfriend but she had realised that she was actually upset and she was hurting. Carmen was dismissive and controlling towards Spencer sometimes but equally there were the times when she was sweet and tender. Spencer pushed her internal debate aside as her phone buzz signalling another message had arrived.

**Carmen: running straight bk 2 pretty boy,shocking!**

Spencer deleted the message and smiled at her best friend who was waiting for her in the car. He started the engine and headed over to Spencer's house glad to have his best friend back.

Spencer opened her front door preying that nobody was in but today just wasn't her day as she spotted her Mother coming out of the kitchen.

"Spencer I thought…..Aiden I'm so happy to see you!" Paula exclaimed as she pulled the frozen boy into a hug completely ignoring Spencer.

"Hi Mrs C, it's good to see you too"

"I thought you were spending the night with her" Paula stated more than asked refusing to say Carmen's name.

"I decided to go to a party with Aiden instead" Spencer answered not wanting to give her mother any pleasure by going into the details of the sudden plan change.

"Well that's wonderful. Will you be staying at Aiden's?"

"Probably not….he will be with his girlfriend Mother"

"Oh well be safe. I'll be at work and your father should be home soon" Paula advised as she left the house. Aiden gave Spencer a strange look clearly wanting to know what was up with Paula.

"She hates that I'm gay and not so secretly hopes that you and I will get together one day"

"Oh….she does understand what lesbian means doesn't she?" Aiden joked as Spencer headed up stairs to changed laughing at his comment.


	17. Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt

**Ok people I have gone with majority vote so I'm sorry if you aren't getting the option you hoped/voted for. Once again I apologise for the confusion and rash decisions. Anyway I hope you enjoy and not that I need to tell you but please review x**

Hide My Heart- Nobody Move, Nobody Get Hurt

Ashley weaved through the crowds that were now starting gather in Ego. She barely recognised half the people there which was more than likely Kyla's doing as she was in charge of the guest list. Random people were smiling at Ashley hugging her which she didn't mind but she just wanted to get back to the safety of her VIP room. She didn't really want this party but Kyla had forced stating it would help her move on when all Ashley wanted to do was sulk and listen to emo music. She came to a stalk realisation to other day at school when she saw Spencer making out with Carmen in full view of everyone. It was in that moment that Ashley realised that Spencer was happy and out with Carmen which was more than Ashley would offer her. Yes finding out Carmen had possibly cheated on Spencer angered Ashley but as she had told Kyla it was none of her business and she wasn't about to change that.

Finally reaching the VIP room Ashley was granted access which she was more than grateful for. Grabbing some more champagne Ashley plonked herself down on the sofa next to Kyla who was frantically texting on her phone.

"Why so panicked little sister?"

"Aiden isn't here yet"

"He'll be here Ky don't worry and then you two can dance the night away" Ashley promised knowing Aiden would be any where Kyla asked him to be without a second thought. Ashley wanted that so badly with somebody but as she had pretty much taken herself off the market since the whole Spencer thing she had no chance at finding it which was why she had decided that tonight would be the first night she would openly hook up and not fear the consequences.

"So do you have your eye on anybody?" Kyla asked knowing about Ashley's decision to date again. That thought made Kyla giggle as Ashley had never dated and it wasn't just because of the bullshit that Jim put them through, it was just easier for her sister to keep things fun and distant.

"That cute blonde by the DJ booth" Ashley advised pointing at the girl who was dancing with some friends.

"You mean the cute blonde who looks like Spencer's double?" Kyla pointed out which annoyed Ashley. Yes she had noticed the similarities but she had chosen to ignore them.

"I have a taste Kyla. I can't help that Spencer Carlin also falls into that category"

"Whatever so you gonna go for it?" Kyla teased.

"Maybe but in my own time" Ashley replied standing up and grabbing two fresh glasses of champagne already planning her moves as she approached the smiling blonde. Ashley admired her and noted that her eyes were green, not blue and that her smile was slightly crooked but she was still attractive. Ashley turned on her god given Davies charm and interrupted the girl from dancing.

"Hey I'm Ashley" Ashley smiled.

"So this is your birthday party I'm assuming?" The girl replied leaning in so Ashley could hear her.

"You assume right"

"Well happy birthday Ashley Davies" The girl purred into Ashley's ear sending shivers down Ashley's spine in a fashion she was used to.

"Thank you….?" Ashley replied wanting the girls name, not that she would really remember later.

"Cassidy"

"You like champagne Cassidy?" Ashley asked handing the spare glass to the smiling girl who happily took the free champagne. Ashley took Cassidy's spare hand in her own and tugged for her to follow which Cassidy did waving goodbye to her friends who had moved to the side. Ashley pulled her to the VIP area and was extremely happy to see that nobody was in there. Pulling the curtains shut Ashley didn't waste anytime knowing that they wouldn't have this privacy for long. Cassidy downed her drink and moved closer to Ashley who took that as 'go light' and kissed the girl. There was no real emotion or affection in the kiss but there was plenty of passion and want which was all Ashley wanted. Ashley pushed the girl on to the sofa and straddled her needing to take control.

Aiden had called a cab to take them to Ego as she wanted to drink and didn't want to risk driving which Spencer understood and respected. After rushing around her bedroom like a thing possessed Spencer finally found the perfect outfit. She settled on her tightest skinny jeans and a ripped vest top that revealed her abs. Walking down the stairs in her killer heals Spencer had the reaction from Aiden that she banked on to confirm that she looked hot.

The taxi pulled up outside of Ego and Spencer couldn't believe the queue that was forming. Aiden paid the driver and they walked up to the bouncer who checked their names off the list and lifted the velvet rope. As soon as they walked through the main doors the noise and smell of the packed night club hit them. Aiden reached out and held Spencer's hand so she didn't get swallowed up in the crowd. Aiden looked as if he spotted who he was looking for who happened to be Kyla. She waved them over and greeted them both with a hug telling Spencer that she had missed her and that she was glad she made it.

"So we have a VIP room back that which is just for Ashley and her friends" Kyla yelled over the music.

"Does Ashley even know that I'm here?" Spencer asked still suspicious of her invitation considering how everything had been left between her and Ashley.

"Not exactly no but she will be happy" Kyla lied because she knew that her sister had specifically requested that Spencer wasn't invited. But Kyla knew that Ashley was only concerned in case she had to watched Carmen and Spencer kiss all night.

"Kyla your sister hates me and I know you know why" Spencer hissed so nobody could hear them not that they would as music was so loud.

"Ashley doesn't hate you Spencer, yes you hurt her feelings but she has accepted that you and Carmen are together and she's moving on. You two could be good friends if you just forget all the drama" Kyla was annoyed that Spencer sounded offended that Ashley hated her. Her sister had every right to hate the blonde after the stunt she pulled but Kyla chose to ignore that because she genuinely thought that they could work through and be together.

"You're right…I'm sorry"

Kyla smiled and headed over to the curtain of the VIP room pulling it open. Kyla's eyes bugged out of her head as her eyes focused on her sister and the blonde skank wearing hardly any clothes while heavily making out. Kyla snapped out of and quickly turned around to try and stop Spencer from seeing but it was too late. Spencer was stood right next to Kyla just staring at the scene in front of them. Ashley pushed the blonde off her and started to put back on her dress clearly embarrassed by the situation. She tried to make eye contact with Spencer but the she was looking at everything but the scantily clad girls.

"Sorry Ash…..we'll come back later" Kyla spluttered grabbing Spencer's arm. The blonde didn't put up a fight and happily followed Kyla.

"Shit wait guys" Ashley tried but they couldn't hear her over the music. Ashley put back on her heels and rubbed her temple as if she was willing her brain to kick in but it seemed reluctant to do so.

"Who was that Ashley?" Cassidy asked tilting her head so she could look at Ashley eye to eye.

"My sister and an old friend" Ashley replied emotionless. She had no idea why she felt so bad that Spencer saw her practically fucking some hot girl. If anything she should be pleased that Spencer saw her moving on but there was a feeling in the pit of Ashley's stomach that wasn't pleasant.

"She didn't seem too happy" Cassidy smiled leaning into kiss Ashley again but was rejected.

"I'm sorry Cassidy that was awesome and you're a sweet girl but I need to go. See you around" Ashley said leaving the safety of the VIP room. Ashley hated that Spencer still had an affect on her. She had done everything she could to move on but the blonde was still a pain in her life no matter how much she tried to deny it to her self and everybody else. Ashley thought about Spencer's expression and it was unreadable to her.

Looking in the chill out room Ashley spotted Kyla and talking but there was no sign of Spencer. They seemed to smiling and laughing which relaxed Ashley slightly. She put on her famous game face and approached the small group.

"Hey good show Ash" Aiden giggled getting a death glare from Ashley and a dead arm from Kyla.

"Get bent jock strap. Where's Spence?" Ashley asked still scanning the area.

"She went to the bathroom" Kyla advised pointing to the door in the corner.

"I thought I told you not to invite her?" Ashley snapped realising that Kyla was more than likely the reason that Spencer had just seen her with another girl.

"Oh please you didn't mean that and plus she is totally jealous now" Kyla smiled like she had done a good thing but the face of thunder that Ashley was wearing begged to differ.

"I wasn't trying to make her jealous Kyla, I was trying to move on like you told me to. Like you've been telling me for weeks now. I'm so pissed with you right now and trust me when I saw there will be consequences but I need to go clean this mess up" Ashley snapped staring Kyla down so her sister understood she meant every word. Aiden stood quietly next to his girlfriend and he felt bad for Ashley. She was doing everything she could to get over what ever she felt for Spencer and now they were scheming to force them together.

"Ashley's right Kyla. Look Ash I'm sorry for this and for having a part in getting Spencer here. We didn't mean to make things harder for either of you" Aiden said feeling guilty.

"Whatever I'll deal with you two idiots later" Ashley sighed as she headed towards the bathroom to find Spencer. Ashley started to panic as she realised that they hadn't spoken for such a long time. Pushing the door open Ashley saw Spencer looking in the mirror and she had clearly been crying. Spencer wiped her eye hoping that Ashley hadn't noticed the stupid tear that had fallen. Spencer wasn't crying because she was mad about what she had seen or even over how Carmen had treated her, she was upset because she realised just how stupid she had been and just horrible she had been to Ashley. Turning to face the birthday girl Spencer smiled her biggest smile.

"Hey Ash"

"Look I'm sorry about that….it wasn't deliberate or anything" Ashley knew that she had done nothing wrong but she would apologise to anyone that had caught her in that scenario.

"I know that Ash, don't worry plus I should be the one that's saying sorry" Spencer smiled as she leaned against the basin.

"Why should you apologise?" Ashley confused as to why Spencer would want to apologise for walking in on her in throws of passion with another girl.

"Because I've have been a complete jerk to you since I've met and I'm sorry" Spencer made sure she made eye contact with Ashley so the shorter girl believed her words. Ashley looked a bit taken back by Spencer's apology and seemed to be taking forever to voice a reply.

"You have been a bit of a jerk" Ashley giggled making Spencer smile in return.

"Seriously Ash I am beyond sorry and I would really like if we can try to be friends or something" Spencer offered expecting Ashley to shoot her down.

"I'm not sure Spence…." Ashley answered knowing that she was fine with forgiving Spencer as they had both messed with each other but she concerned that they would never really be able to be friends.

"We can start off simple like letting buy you a birthday drink and take it from there" Spencer was really trying now hoping that Ashley would give her a chance.

"What about Carmen?" Ashley wondered knowing that the feisty latina would not be happy with them hanging out.

"I'll deal with that Ash…..I'll do anything to hang out with you again" Spencer pleaded realising just how much her actions had hurt Ashley.

"Like what?" Ashley challenged with a raised eyebrow and smug smile knowing she had Spencer by the metaphorical balls.

"You name it I'll do it"

"I need to think of something and that may take a while so I'm probably going to need a drink while I think it over" Ashley smiled crinkling her nose nearly melting Spencer's heart in one go.

"Awesome….come on then birthday girl" Spencer instructed heading back out to the club. Ashley followed behind still unsure but she got the vibe that Spencer was genuinely sorry and remembering how easily Spencer had forgiven her over the whole Carmen saga she figured that she could only show the same forgiveness.

Ashley and Spencer had been sat in the VIP area drinking the nice bottle of champagne that Spencer had purchased while discussing things that Spencer could do to make Ashley forgive her. Both girls had been smiling like idiots since they had been talking and had both relaxed into an easy flow just like they had done when they first met.

"Would you and dance with that guy over there?" Ashley laughed as she pointed out some dude doing the bus driver dancer dance. Spencer looked over and burst out laughing at the poor guy.

"Challenge accepted" Spencer shook Ashley's hand and headed towards the guy as Ashley looked on. Spencer cautiously approached the guy then just joined in with his erratic moves even pulling out the running man which made Ashley laugh harder. After a couple of songs Spencer headed back over to Ashley who was still laughing. The brunette stood up and started clapping Spencer who took a bow.

"Good show loser….I wished you'd have told me about your 'dance' moves the first time we spoke then I would've know to avoid you" Ashley mocked.

"I'm an awesome dancer thank you very much" Spencer pouted.

"Sure you are princess"

The girls laughing was interrupted by Aiden walking into the VIP room. Both Ashley and Spencer tried to stifle their laughter.

"Sorry to interrupt you two but Spencer can I have a word?" Aiden asked giving Spencer the international best friend look for this is important. Spencer looked at Ashley who nodded that she would be fine and she joined Aiden by the bar.

"What's up dude?" Spencer asked in good spirits.

"Erm Carmen is outside the club demanding that you go talk to her. Apparently she had been calling you forever and she seems pretty pissed"

"Fuck…..I don't know what to do" Spencer sighed dropping her head hating that what turned out to be a great night was about to be ruined.

"Go deal with it Spencer and then come back to the party" Aiden advised rubbing his friends arm for comfort. Spencer looked over at Ashley as she chatted to Kyla and then towards the door where she knew Carmen would be waiting. She knew what she needed to do and she hoped it didn't ruin anything with Ashley. Heading over to Ashley she prepared herself for disappointing the girl.

"You ok Spencer?" Ashley asked concerned.

"Carmen is here and she's pretty pissed at me. I need to go deal with her but I'll be back I promise" Spencer explained hating that she was able to take away Ashley's smile so quickly.

"Do whatever you need to Spence" Ashley replied giving the blonde her biggest smile.

Spencer turned and headed towards the entrance pushing through the crowds of sweaty, drunk people. Once outside she spotted Carmen sat down outside on the curb. Spencer headed over and prayed that it wouldn't escalate into big drama.

"I've been calling you for like 3 hours" Carmen spat standing up as Spencer came closer.

"I've been busy kind of like you were when I needed you" Spencer snapped back keeping her distance from Carmen who was clearly pissed off.

"I was busy Spencer, I can't drop everything just because you wanted me"

"I'm not saying you should drop everything Carmen I'm just saying you could at least be there for every now and again"

"Whatever, why are you here?" Carmen asked changing the subject clearing she was in the wrong.

"I'm here with Aiden"

"It's Ashley's birthday….are you here with her?"

"No I came with Aiden"

"Don't lie to me Spencer"

"I'm not lying to you Carmen. Yes I have chatted to Ashley it's her frickin birthday plus she's my friend"

"Look lets just drop this baby and lets go back to mine" Carmen's personality changed so quickly that Spencer had no idea how to handle her. She genuinely cared for Carmen but she was never there and was always busy. Spencer had her suspicions but she always chose to ignore them to keep the peace.

"I don't know Carm" Spencer sighed thinking about the promise she made to Ashley.

"Ok well just come get a coffee with me and we can talk about this…please?" Carmen begged breaking Spencer's ice queen act. She knew they needed to talk and sooner rather than later would be for the best. Figuring she could go grab a coffee and be back at the club in a hour Spencer agreed so they walked down the street.

Ashley had been staring at the entrance to the club for the past hour waiting for a certain blonde to come back like she had promised. Ashley started to feel a bit dumb for letting Spencer back in and figured that she had just left with Carmen. As the party was dying down Ashley decided it was time to call it a night before anyone else disappointed her. Avoiding Kyla so she didn't have to explain herself Ashley headed to a taxi and gave directions to her new house which she knew would empty as her mother was on the other side of the world with stupid Jim.

Spencer had been staring at her coffee cup for a good half an hour listening to Carmen blab on about something she couldn't care less about. She was trying to build up the courage to say what she needed to say but words weren't coming easy to her. Looking at her watched she realised that she had left Ashley over an hour ago which spurred her on to say what she needed.

"Look Carmen would you shut up and listen to me please?" Spencer snapped bashing her coffee cup on the table.

"Chill out babe"

"Urgh stop telling me to chill out. Carmen this isn't working for me and I want it to be over" Spencer said feeling relieved that the words had finally left her mouth rather than just swirling around her like they had been doing for the last few weeks.

"No" Carmen replied calmly sipping her coffee.

"You can't just say no Carmen. I'm sorry because I really like you but you're a terrible girlfriend. You're selfish, you're distant and so self involved it's unbelievable. You are insanely jealous which has made distant from my friends and I can't take it any more" Spencer snapped as she got up to leave. Carmen didn't bother following her which Spencer was grateful for. Spencer headed straight back to club spotting Aiden and Kyla outside.

"Where's Ashley?" Spencer asked a little out of breath from power walking.

"We think she's gone home" Kyla answered.

"Shit…..I'm going see you guys later" Spencer replied heading over to a cab.

Ashley decided she wasn't overly tired so she was sat in her garden listening to her ipod feeling shitty about her birthday. She was grateful for the effort that Kyla had into her party but she never really wanted that. Flicking through her ipod Ashley settled on listening to some Jessie J and smiled to herself loving that music could always improve her mood. Putting her headphones Ashley drifted into her own little world singing along to the music.

The album she was listening had finished signalling it was time for her head inside feeling the cold night air. As she opened her eyes Ashley let out a loud scream tripping backwards. As she panicked she flung her arms forward grabbing on to whatever had scared her. A loud splash followed her second scream and before Ashley knew it she was struggling under the water. Pushing her self to the top once she was able to place her feet on the bottom of the pool Ashley surfaced looking around the pool scared to death that somebody was out to get her. Looking to her left a body emerged from the cool water looking like a drained rat.

"Fuck Spencer you scared the shit out of me" Ashley yelled pushing her dripping hair out of her face. Spencer shook her wet hair out of her eyes scowling at Ashley.

"You're the one that went all ninja on my ass!" Spencer snapped back climbing out of the pool. She leaned over and put her hand out for Ashley to take which she did after little protest.

"What the hell were doing?" Ashley asked heading to the pool room and grabbing some towels passing one to Spencer.

"I was trying to get your attention"

"Well you succeeded" Ashley smiled wrapping the towel around her shoulders.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to scare you" Spencer admitted wrapping her towel around her.

"Why are you here Spence? I figured you had gone home with Carmen" Ashley asked the smile falling from her face.

"I promised you that I would be back so here I am" Spencer answered picking up her purse from the ground where she had dropped it before she was thrown head first into the pool.

"Can you close your eyes please?" Spencer requested to a newly silent Ashley. Ashley complied and Spencer did what she needed to.

"Ok open them" Spencer instructed which Ashley did. Ashley couldn't believe her eyes and she couldn't hide her smile. In front of her was a perfect little pink cupcake with a single candle in it.

"I noticed at your party that there was no cake and a birthday party without cake is lame. So happy birthday Ashley Davies" Spencer explained to a bewildered Ashley.

"Thank you" Ashley smiled kissing Spencer on the cheek and then blowing out the candle.


	18. Feeling This

Ok so I know that this has been on hiatus for quite a while but I've been snowboarding, started a new job and been enjoying the son plus it stopped been fun for a while. Anyway I've decided to continue with this one and I have no planned outcome/plot etc so I'm just going with it. Enjoy x

Hide My Heart- Feeling This

Ashley pulled away after kissing Spencer on the cheek, realising that based on past experiences it would only end badly. Ashley pulled her towel tightly around her shoulders and she smiled an awkward smile at Spencer who was looking at Ashley clearly trying to figure her out.

"Thank you for the cake Spencer and thank you for coming back for me" Ashley finally said with a smile.

"I'm sorry that you thought otherwise and I'm sorry for the way I have treated you for the last few months. I know that a stupid cupcake won't make up for that or doing some stupid dance but I am sorry and I will literally do anything to be your friend again" Spencer explained knowing that her past behaviour had been mean and selfish.

"I'm not sure that we were ever really friends to begin with Spencer" Ashley confessed knowing her honesty would probably hurt Spencer.

"Well I'm sure that we were, at least for a short while before I messed it up. I've missed you these past few months and I know that it's my fault which is what sucks the most"

"We both made mistakes Spencer"

"Yea but I was deliberately mean and that's not who I am Ash. I want to be the girl I was before this all happened. I want to hang out with Aiden and I want to be your friend again" Spencer pleaded.

"I'm sure your girlfriend would love that" Ashley scoffed rubbing her arms for warmth.

"I wouldn't know I don't have a girlfriend anymore" Spencer exclaimed shocking Ashley back to making eye contact. Ashley had been praying for this moment since Spencer and Carmen had become an item and now she wasn't too sure what to do with the information. Rendered completely speechless Ashley just looked at the pool.

"Ashley Davies with no witty remark or sarcastic comment?" Spencer asked killing the silence quickly before it swallowed them both whole. Ashley quickly turned and looked at Spencer trying to read her face. She too desperately wanted back the girl that she had met at the end of summer party and even after everything that had happened Ashley could see hints of her in Spencer's darkened eyes.

"I should go to bed, it's late and I'm cold" Ashley announced abruptly as she needed some time to think everything over.

"Oh Ok….erm look I know I've probably ruined your birthday but do you think I could buy you breakfast tomorrow. I mean it's not actually your real birthday until tomorrow, actually today and it would be shame for it go by with no celebration" Spencer muttered suddenly feeling exposed.

"But what about the cupcake?" Ashley joked pointing to the crushed cupcake.

"That was a pre birthday celebratory cupcake, just part of the build-up" Spencer smiled.

"Ok I'll get breakfast with you but there's a condition" Ashley offered.

"Name it"

"Can you bring the Spencer I met at the end of the summer?"

"As long as you bring the first Ashley I met at the end of the summer?" Spencer challenged.

"Deal….good night Spence"

"Goodnight Birthday girl" Spencer waved and headed over to her car starting the engine and heading home for some much needed sleep.

Ashley watched Spencer drive off and she couldn't help but smile to herself. Yes Spencer had hurt her but Ashley had handed out just as much pain as she was dealt. Being friends with Spencer would be a challenge but Ashley was willing to give it ago especially now that there was no Carmen in the picture. Heading back inside Ashley heard her phone buzz signalling she had a text.

**Btw you looked stunning 2nite birthday girl S x**

Ashley re-read the message twice and then closed her phone knowing that she didn't need to reply.

Spencer woke up early the next morning feeling happier than she had felt in a long time. She skipped down the stairs after getting dressed. Her Mother and Father were both sat at the breakfast table in a rare moment of togetherness.

"Morning parentals!" Spencer chirped as she poured herself some coffee. Both of her parents looked at her like she had grown a second head.

"Why are you so happy?" Arthur asked with caution concerned that his recently sullen daughter would bite his head off for asking the question.

"Oh….Carmen and I broke up" Spencer smiled as she sipped her coffee.

"Really?Are you Ok?" Arthur asked trying to be concerned but his smile gave him away. Paula on the other hand was trying less hard to hide her delight.

"I knew you would come to your senses Spencer" Paula added hugging her daughter.

"I'm still gay Mother" Spencer snapped.

"Then why are you so happy?"

"Because I broke up with Carmen and I have realised that I like somebody else"

"Aiden?"Paula asked which would normally annoy Spencer but she could only smile at her Mother's ignorance.

"No Mother, like I just said I'm still gay and I will tell you who it is when I know it's worth it" Spencer said as she left through the back door. She had text Ashley informing her that she would be picking her up at 10 for breakfast.

Ashley had been up since 8 which was unusual for especially considering the amount she had drank the previous night. Sometime between passing out and remembering to get undressed Ashley had flashbacks of the conversation with Spencer. Then the text from Spencer in the morning only confirmed the 'meeting' and also the fact that Ashley had suddenly turned into a nervous wreck. She was currently sat on her sister's bed while Kyla squealed at the information Ashley was sharing.

"So she asked you on a date?" Kyla asked.

"No she asked me for breakfast…..it's not a date. I'm sure if I even want to date her"

"Yes you do" Aiden mumbled from under the duvet.

"Look me and Spencer are in a weird place. We hadn't spoken for 2 months until last night and that didn't have a very smooth middle"

"Every relationship has its rocky patches Ash, you learn to work through them" Kyla chimed in.

"Ok first all this isn't a relationship and second of all you are meant to be meeting the estate agent at the loft in half an hour so stop getting involved in my life and go sort me out a place to live" Ashley snapped. Kyla tried to stare her down but Ashley always won their staring contests. The younger Davies smiled her award winning smiling to appease her sister.

Ashley scowled at her sister as she left the room and she headed down the stairs. Hearing a horn honking in the drive way Ashley suddenly became nervous. She was getting picked up for breakfast by a girl that had caused her heartache, jealousy and confusion in the few short months that they had known each other but on the other hand Spencer was one of the first girls that had managed to make her feel anything which was why Ashley was willing to give Spencer a chance. Walking out of the door Ashley put on a smile as she approached the car seeing Spencer smile nervously only made Ashley chuckle slightly.

"Hey Birthday girl" Spencer mumbled as Ashley climbed into the car. Both girls were overcome with nerves as they sat in silence. Spencer started the car once Ashley smiled her hello and they headed out.

"So where we going for breakfast?" Ashley asked her eyes glued on the road.

"There's a cool little cafe about 20 minutes from here and they do the best waffles" Spencer explained also focusing on the road ahead rather than the brunette that her brain scrambled.

"Mmmm I love waffles. So how you doing Spence?" Ashley replied trying to keep the conversation going.

"I'm ok, still a little bit confused about what the hell happened to Carmen but I'm good. In fact I'm really happy, I feel relieved almost" Spencer tried her best to explain how she was feeling without sounding like a complete weirdo.

"You're relieved that you and Carmen broke up?" Ashley asked confused.

"Kind of yea, I mean it was great at the start, sort of and then she got all strange, crazy possessive plus I didn't like who I was when I was with her"

"Why not?"

"Because I let her control me. I let her keep me away from the people I care about"

"Aiden knew you would see the light eventually and I'm glad you did"

"So I have a present for you" Spencer announced clearly over the topic.

"You didn't have to do that Spencer but I do love presents so thank you"

"You haven't even seen it yet, so don't get your hopes up Davies"

"Can I have it now?" Ashley begged giving Spencer her best puppy dog face which seemed to work on the weak blonde. Spencer pulled the car into a parking space and leaned over Ashley to take something from the glove compartment. Handing the neatly wrapped gift to Ashley she couldn't help but feel nervous in case Ashley hated the gift. Ashley smiled as she took the small package and then she slowly opened it. Inside the bright purple wrapping paper was a small box. Ashley opened the box apprehensively and then she focused on what was inside the box. Ashley couldn't stop the smile that slowly crept on to her face as her deep chocolate eyes scanned over the small silver chain. On closer inspection Ashley saw that the chain had a small cherry pendant on it, not too over the top or flashy, just perfect. Ashley looked up into Spencer's hopeful eyes and smiled.

"Wow Spence this is really sweet and totally the best gift so far today" Ashley finally said as she leaned over the middle section and hugged Spencer. Neither girl wanted to let go but both knew that they needed to. Pulling away Ashley took the necklace from the box and Spencer helped her put it on. Spencer gently lifted Ashley's soft hair so she could see what she was doing and it took everything in her not to kiss Ashley's exposed neck.

"It looks good" Spencer whispered sending shivers down the brunettes spine.

"We should go get some food" Ashley stated getting out of the car. Spencer being that close to her had made Ashley blush which wasn't a regular occurrence in her world and she needed to get away before she did something that neither of them was ready for.


	19. Crushcrushcrush

Thanks for reviews and the comments etc, glad people are still reading. Sorry you guys don't like Spencer in this fic but in every fic a read Ashley ends up being the bad guy who messes up and has do all the chasing so I thought I'd change it up. Anyway enjoy x

Hide My Heart- Crushchrushcrush

Ashley and Spencer had ordered breakfast and they were currently waiting for their order to arrive. Ashley played with the small cherry pendant on the necklace that she had just been given as she nervously avoided Spencer's gaze. Both girls were feeling slightly awkward after the moment they had just shared in the car and neither knew what to say. Sipping her coffee Spencer knew that she needed to break this silence even if it was with pointless conversation.

"So you're getting your own place?" Spencer asked smiling her best smile pulling Ashley out of her staring contest with her necklace.

"That's the plan, it will finally make everything worth it once I have my own place" Ashley replied honestly.

"By everything you mean the hold non- gay thing?" Spencer queried treading carefully so she didn't cross any boundaries.

"Amongst other things yes" Ashley answered enigmatically.

"Ok vague much?" Spencer joked rolling her eyes.

"Ok little Miss sharing tell me the real reason you broke up with Carmen?" Ashley dared knowing full well that Spencer's explanation the previous evening wasn't the whole truth or at least she hoped it wasn't.

"I told you last night, she was too controlling and jealous" Spencer repeated.

"Jealous of anyone is particular?" Ashley knew she was walking down a dangerous path but she just wanted Spencer to be honest with her for once.

"Any girl, guy or mammal I spoke to which is pretty rich considering I'm pretty sure she may have cheated on me on more than one occasion" Spencer continued confused as to why Ashley looked so annoyed by her answer.

"Is that why you didn't talk to me for 2 months?" Ashley had had enough of attempting to be subtle.

"I kept away Ash because of the whole kiss thing. I just figured after that you hated me and I really wouldn't blame you to be honest" Spencer confessed referring to kiss the night of the basketball game where she deliberately hurt Ashley's feelings.

"Don't get me wrong I thought you were a bitch but I knew you were lying, at least I hoped you were back then" Ashley explained knowing full well that Spencer had felt something during their kiss. Spencer's expression had changed as soon as Ashley finished her sentence especially the 'back then' part.

"What makes you so sure I was lying?" Spencer pressed desperate for Ashley to retract the 'back then' from her statement.

"Because Spencer I have kissed a lot of girls, for a lot of reasons but I have never felt whatever happened when we kissed that night and there is no way that you didn't feel it" Ashley answered looking directly at Spencer who was now a deep shade of red. The conversation was quickly ended as the waitress placed their plates in front of them. Ashley quickly looked away and dug into her breakfast leaving Spencer more than confused about where they stood. Spencer knew what she wanted now, she had known for a long time but was scared because of all the drama that Ashley came with but she realised now that all the drama in the world would be worth it so she could have Ashley Davies as her own. Knowing that her previous behaviour had severely affected her chances Spencer was worried that Ashley would never give her another chance but she decided in that moment that she would at least try even if she was knocked back down because the girl sat opposite her with a mouthful of waffles and shiny brown eyes was the girl for her.

"So what are your plans for the rest of the day?" Spencer asked wanting to change the subject for a while so things didn't get so weird. Ashley swallowed her last mouthful and placed her cutlery down. For a moment she looked as if she was debating whether to answer the simple question honestly or to lie.

"Not sure, maybe hang out with Kyla if she can tear herself away from Aiden long enough"

"Ash it's your birthday"

"Yes I am one year older so what?" Ashley replied confused. Normally her birthdays were an excuse for a party and then after that nobody was bothered. Her Mother was less than interested which was only cemented by the fact that she was currently in Paris at some spa.

"Ash it's your birthday, it's your 18th birthday that's huge! I refuse to let this day go by like any other"

"You have a thing for birthdays don't ya?"

"I love birthdays especially big ones, it's a great excuse to spoil the birthday person and as it's your birthday Davies you're going to get spoilt" Spencer promised hoping Ashley wouldn't reject her.

"What if I say no?" Ashley suggested knowing full well that she would say yes.

"Then I will kidnap you and force you to have a good time" Spencer threatened.

"Extreme"

"Look Ash I have fucked up majorly when it comes to you and I have wasted 2 months not talking to you because of something stupid that I did. So I don't want to waste any more time especially when it comes to you" Spencer begged giving Ashley her best pout.

"I think I actually became more awesome over the last 2 months are you sure you can handle that?" Ashley smiled with her normal cocky attitude which Spencer had missed.

"I'll try if you let me" Spencer answered to which Ashley shook her head in the positive.

"Ok Carlin I will let you celebrate my stupid birthday with me" Ashley agreed at which point Spencer stood up, placing some money on the table.

"Awesome let's go birthday girl" Spencer instructed holding out her hand for Ashley to take which she did after little consideration. Spencer pulled Ashley towards her car not once letting go of her hand, once they were at the car they both stood looking at each other.

"So where are we going first?" Ashley asked dropping her hand from Spencer's.

"I have absolutely no idea" Spencer giggled missing the touch of Ashley's hand already. Both girls laughed and climbed into the car. Spencer racked her brain for something to do which only made her realise how little she knew about Ashley apart from the obvious.

"What do you like to do?" Spencer asked shyly knowing she sounded like a clown but not caring as this was something she needed to do. Wanting Ashley was nothing new to her but getting to really know each other would be new to both of them.

"Wanna narrow that down a bit?" Ashley laughed looking at Spencer weirdly.

"I've just realised that I don't know that much about you which means I don't know where to take you on your day of fun" Spencer explained looking slightly crest fallen. Ashley eyed the blonde and couldn't help but smile to herself. Spencer probably knew more about her than she thought but the blonde was trying to hide.

"Look Spence I know things are kind of weird between us with everything that's happened since we met but you don't need to try so hard. I don't need you to spoil me or treat me or whatever"

"Ok, you're right, I'm sorry. I have an idea" Spencer agreed knowing that she seemed a bit desperate to impress Ashley.

"And that would be?"

"My parents are away tonight so I have the house to myself so I was thinking sleep over. You know old school movies, games, junk food and maybe some cherry Carlin's" Spencer explained hoping Ashley would agree. The brunette mulled over the offer and it sounded more appealing than any other offer she had had in a long time.

"Sounds perfect Spence" Ashley smiled.

"Ok well I need do some stuff before you come over so how about I drop you home and then you can come over later?"

Ashley nodded and flashed her recently absent nose crinkle which only warmed Spencer's heart further. Spencer took a mental picture of the smile and nose crinkle so that she could remember just how much she likes it. Spencer drove Ashley home and they some general chit chat. Pulling up outside the Davies mansion Spencer was reluctant to stop as she didn't want Ashley to go but she knew it would be worth it in the end. As the car stopped Ashley moved to take off her seat belt but then continued to sit still.

"That was a pretty good breakfast Spencer"

"Yea it was pretty awesome" Spencer agreed shyly as Ashley looked at her with that intense stare of hers.

"So what time do you want me tonight?" Ashley asked looking away.

"Like 6?" Spencer stuttered as she considered the wording of Ashley's question, assuming it wasn't deliberate Spencer managed to side step it.

"Awesome see you at 6 Spence" Ashley promised as she exited the vehicle stopping to give Spencer a slight wave before she entered the front door. Spencer leaned her back against her head rest and let out a contented sigh before driving off to prepare for the evening.


	20. This Turbulence Is Beautiful

So I'm not sure if people are even reading this anymore so I'll post this chapter and if it doesn't get a response I may just cut my losses. Enjoy if you're out there.

Hide My Heart- This Turbulence Is Beautiful

Spencer nervously darted around her house sorting and tidying like a maniac. She wanted everything to be perfect for when Ashley arrived and that was very soon. She had set up everything in the living room including twister, some cards, booze, snacks, a huge pile of DVDs and some beauty stuff. She had even brought her duvet and pillows down the stairs so they were comfortable later while watching movies. During the preparation time Spencer also scheduled time for her to have a shower and make herself look half decent. She knew that a sleep over and clean hair wouldn't woo Ashley but she had to try at least. Checking her simple outfit of pyjama shorts and a tight fitting vest she considered herself to look good. Hearing the oven ping Spencer hopped into the kitchen to take the freshly made cookies from the oven. As she started laying them onto a cooling rack the doorbell rang out around the house shocking Spencer. She swallowed hard and headed over to the door opening it after a few seconds not wanting to seem too eager. On the other side of the wooden door was a smiling Ashley who was weighed down with bags of junk food. Spencer hurried herself to help Ashley and then guided her into the kitchen. Spencer watched as Ashley laid down her belongings revealing her outfit for the evening. The outfit alone made Spencer's jaw drop slightly and she tried her best to pick it up. Ashley was wearing an oversized football jersey and little, skin tight black shorts that complimented her body perfectly.

"Did you wear that outfit in public?" Spencer pondered out loud.

"Just in the car why?" Ashley smiled tugging on her oversized jersey.

"Oh….no reason" Spencer lied.

"Did you make cookies?" Ashley asked knowing full well that Spencer had been checking her out the whole time which meant that her carefully chosen outfit had worked perfectly.

"Erm…yep…yes I did. I erm like your shirt" Spencer replied clearly blushing as she turned her attention to her cookies.

"I stole it from the gym at school on one of the rare occasions that I turned up" Ashley explained as she helped to put some food items into the fridge deliberately reaching up high so that her shirt lifted slightly revealing her toned stomach. Spencer swallowed hard and wondered how she had even managed to choose another girl over Ashley. The girl was perfect in every way and just looking at her made Spencer's stomach flip like crazy. Realising that she couldn't stare like some old perv all night Spencer attempted to shake her head free of all naughty thoughts or at least she tried to.

"Pretty sure you're not meant to steal school property" Spencer replied after a few moments of silence.

"True but I'm also pretty sure you're meant to turn up to school more than once a week" Ashley countered taking a cookie from the cooling rack.

"Good point. So do you want a drink?" Spencer offered.

"Yes, I'd love a cherry Carlin" Ashley answered taking a bite from her cookie.

"Ok, how do I make it?" Spencer replied feeling stupid as Ashley had showed her the first night that they met but all Spencer was paying attention to that night was Ashley.

"Move over Blondie I'll do it" Ashley instructed hip checking Spencer out of the way causing her to stumble slightly to the side. Ashley grabbed various bottles and a couple of glasses laying them on the side.

"Okay watch and learn because I'm not showing you this again" Ashley announced pulling Spencer back over to the counter so she could see what Ashley was doing.

"First of all you need cherry liquor, just a splash. 4 ice cubes followed by one shot of amaretto and one shot of vodka" Ashley poured the liquids in like an expert.

"Then finally drop in 2 glacier cherries and fill to the top with coke. Give a stir and then it's done" Ashley handed Spencer one of the glasses so she could try it which she happily did. The taste reminded her of the first night she met Ashley and then that day at the beach house where they nearly kissed, she liked the taste and she loved the memories.

"I love it and I promise that I will remember this time" Spencer finally said happy for her words to have a double meaning hoping that Ashley understood.

"You best do Carlin because I refuse to show you again" Ashley smiled as she sipped her drink heading into the living area.

"So when do you move into the new digs?" Spencer asked she sat on her favourite chair leaving the sofa for Ashley.

"Whenever I want, Kyla has the keys. Her and Aiden have taken some stuff over tonight so I guess we'll be in there soon"

"You didn't have to come here tonight if you wanted to move in to your new place Ash" Spencer advised feeling bad that she may have interrupted Ashley's plans.

"Trust me I would rather do it when those two love birds aren't around plus I was strangely looking forward to tonight especially now that good Spencer is here" Ashley reassured Spencer hoping the blonde didn't think she was there under obligation.

"She is? I'd like to meet her" Spencer teased downing the rest of her drink through nerves.

"She's pretty awesome. So get to the entertaining lady. Are going to braid each other's hair, pillow fight in our underwear, tell secrets about dreamy boys we want to kiss?" Ashley asked dramatically putting on a sweet valley high voice much to Spencer's amusement. She headed back to the counter in the kitchen and started mixing some more drinks having noticed that Spencer had already finished hers.

"As fun as like one of those things sounds I'm going to pass"

"Which one sounds good?" Ashley asked with a raised eyebrow as she dropped some cherries into the now full glasses.

"Ok you got me I just can't wait to tell you which boy I'm like totally crushing on" Spencer answered knowing full well that Ashley knew which activity she was talking about.

"Oh good I thought you were totally gay and I can't hang out with gay people" Ashley teased as she passed Spencer her drink, their fingers touched slightly and neither recoiled too quickly.

"That sucks you better leave" Spencer tried her best to keep a straight face but seeing Ashley giggle only made her smile harder.

"I'll make an exception for you" Ashley said after a few seconds of silence. Spencer couldn't hide her happiness as a massive grin spread across her face. The light hearted banter had distracted Spencer for a while from Ashley's outfit but the brunette was now lying on the sofa stretching which had affected Spencer's ability to breathe all of a sudden.

"So you wanna watch a movie?" Spencer asked loudly standing up and grabbing the box of DVDs she had grabbed from her room.

"It's a bit early for a movie" Ashley whined sitting back up and mindlessly wandering around the living room inspecting the Carlin family photos.

"You were a cute kid, what happened?"

"You're funny. I need to pee I'll be right back" Spencer advised heading up the stairs leaving Ashley alone. Ashley watched Spencer as she walked up the stairs, taking in her long golden legs that were perfectly on show which didn't bother Ashley in the slightest. Once she was sure she had heard the door to the bathroom click Ashley headed upstairs on the search for Spencer's room. She wanted to see where the beautiful girl slept at night. Pushing the first door open Ashley soon realised that it was Spencer's parent's room and on her second try she figured she had found the right room. Walking into decent sized room Ashley's eyes scanned the walls which were a light blue colour, a similar colour to Spencer's eyes Ashley thought to herself. On the walls were some movie posters and a huge poster of Megan Fox which made Ashley smile. On the dresser were a few photos of Aiden and Spencer together through the years looking like the best of friends except in one photo where Spencer is giving Aiden a wedgy. On the bedside table there was a ripped up picture which caught Ashley's attention, picking up some of the pieces Ashley soon realised that it was once a photo of Carmen which seemed to be the only link to Carmen in the room.

"Is it still breaking and entering if I've already given you access to the rest of the house?" Spencer asked as she stood leaning against the door frame watching Ashley.

"Afraid not plus you've totally seen my room so I figured I should see yours" Ashley replied trying to hide the fact that she had nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Find anything of interest?" Spencer questioned as she remained planted to her spot suddenly very aware that the girl she was crushing on was in her room.

"Not really, got anything you want to show me?" Ashley asked as she walked towards Spencer making the blonde blush slightly as Spencer was sure that Ashley was flirting with her.

"Was there anything in particular that you wanted to see or find?" Spencer tried her best to flirt back not wanting to ruin this new level of their friendship.

"I was actually looking for your Ashley Davies shrine, most girls have one" Ashley boasted as she edged slightly closer so there was maybe one foot between them. Spencer considered the question for a while and then leaned forward so she was closer to Ashley but at the last second she leaned to right in the direction of her desk. In one movement she lifted the lid on her laptop under Ashley's watchful eye. Spencer pointed to her screen and Ashley looked where she was directed to. Leaning down to look closer Ashley saw a photo that was taken the first time they met, it's a group shot by the fire but Ashley and Spencer seem to be in their own little world. They have arms around one and other with huge smiles on their faces. Ashley broke her stare from the laptop and looked back up at Spencer.

"Does that count?" Spencer asked to a clearly tongue tied Ashley.

"Definitely" Ashley answered in a quiet tone staring in disbelief at Spencer. Ashley had the same photo as her screensaver, not that she would tell anybody that. Neither girl said much else; instead they stood in silence having a staring contest as if one was daring the other to move. Ashley licked her lips as all she could think about was kissing Spencer again but this time with no games, no mess, just want and need.

The chocolate brown eyes looking back at Spencer had darkened slightly and the second Ashley licked her lower lip she knew what she wanted to do next. She had wanted to kiss Ashley since she stepped foot in the house and now was the perfect time. Building up her courage Spencer leaned forward softly brushing her lips against Ashley's, scared that any sudden movement would scare her off.

"I want to kiss you so bad" Spencer whispered against Ashley's mouth as her senses were over -come with the smell of coconut lip balm.

"Then kiss me" Ashley whispered back feeling light headed from the proximity of Spencer. Without a second thought Spencer did as instructed, softly pressing her lips against Ashley's. Spencer let Ashley control the speed and passion of the kiss but when she felt Ashley's tongue skin her bottom lip she couldn't control herself. Placing her hands on Ashley's hips she pulled the shorter girl closer revelling in the sensation of their bodies touching in a way they hadn't really touched before.

Taking back control Ashley pushed Spencer towards her bed causing Spencer to drop back softly on to the soft mattress. Straddling Spencer she managed to not break the kiss even the moment was bumpy and they were both lacking in much needed oxygen. Just as Ashley was about to pull away for air she heard the bedroom window open, before she could see who the offender was a loud voice filled the room.

"WHAT THE FUCK?"


	21. The Science Of Selling Yourself Short

Hide My Heart- The Science of Selling Yourself Short

Launching herself from the bed Ashley found herself staring at a very pissed off Carmen. Ashley's eyes darted around the room praying that this was just a bad dream or some sort of terrible joke. Looking at Spencer for a clue Ashley could only see shock on the blondes flushed face.

"Is she why you broke up with me?" Carmen demanded glaring at Ashley with all the hatred in the world. Spencer still looked clueless and on the verge of tears and all Ashley wanted to do was run. She had been swept in the moment when she had kissed Spencer and this very situation had reminded her why she had backed off. Spencer and Carmen's relationship had only ended less than 48 hours ago and Ashley knew that there would be issues to work out between them and she didn't want to be involved with that. She liked Spencer but seeing Carmen there in her room reminded Ashley just how messy everything had gotten.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Spencer asked standing up so she was in the gap between Carmen and Ashley.

"I came to see you but you weren't answering the door and I remembered that Aiden used to always come in through this window so here I am" Carmen explained in a calm manner.

"Carmen we broke up, you shouldn't be here"

"And you shouldn't be fucking straightie over here" Carmen replied pointing at Ashley who was still glued to her spot trying to figure out if she could just leave.

"Look what ever has happened or is happening between me and Ash is none of your business. We are done Carmen so please just leave" Spencer responded turning to look at Ashley who looked less than impressed and was being strangely quiet.

"Spencer you're mine and we need to talk about what happened the other night. I love you baby" Carmen begged moving closer to Spencer making the blonde move further away and closer to Ashley who was still silent.

"I don't love you Carmen, I never have…..can you please leave?" Spencer tried her best to be honest and even though Carmen had hurt her she didn't want to be mean.

"I need to go" Ashley finally stated as she headed out of the house at full speed, the last image she saw in the bedroom was a smug looking Carmen and a confused Spencer. Reaching the front door Ashley grabbed her keys and ran to her car nearly hyperventilating in the process. Once she was safely inside her car she looked back at the house and saw Spencer running towards her and without a second thought she revved the engine and sped away without daring to look in the mirror to see Spencer again.

Driving home Ashley tried to make sense of the evening, she had wanted to kiss Spencer but she hadn't considered the consequences of her actions. She was still mad at Spencer for messing her about and she realised that they still didn't know each other very well at all which made Ashley believe that any 'feelings' that they may have towards each other was just hormones or pure attraction which Ashley knew was no basis for any relationship. Pulling into the parking lot of her new apartment Ashley went to grab her phone but soon realised that she had left it at Spencer's house when she ran away. Deciding that she would rather buy a new phone than deal with the drama that was there she headed upstairs hoping Aiden and Kyla were there to let her in as she had no keys yet.

The doorman let Ashley in smiling politely and he gave her directions to the apartment advising that Kyla was upstairs. Exiting the elevator Ashley banged loudly on the large metal door and after a few seconds of waiting Kyla opened the door.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had that birthday thing with Spencer?" Kyla asked moving aside and letting her sister in.

"I did, it didn't go to well so I figured I would come hang out with you two" Ashley explained as she walked into the open living room space only to turn around quickly after spotting Aiden standing in the middle of the room with nothing but a cushion to cover his private parts. Averting her eyes she looked at her sister who had ruffled hair and was simply wearing Aiden's t-shirt. Ashley backed out of the apartment knowing full well what she had just interrupted.

"Ash you don't have to leave, come tell me what happened with Spencer?" Kyla offered but Ashley continued to back away.

"It can wait, I'll go somewhere then maybe come back later"

"Maybe call before you come up later?"

"I would but I don't have my phone, kind of left it at Spencer's house"

"What happened?"

"It really smells like straight sex in here I need to leave" Ashley whined as quickly walked away from her new and now tainted apartment. Once she was back inside her car she considered her options, she could go back to Spencer's and check that she is ok but she didn't want to get involved or she could go find a starbucks and sit in there until her sister stopping sinning in her apartment. Choosing the latter Ashley headed over to the starbucks that she knew would be quiet.

Standing at the counter considering her drink options Ashley was pulled from her thoughts by the barrister girl.

"You wanna order or do you just like looking at the board?" The girl asked dryly almost offending Ashley until she looked at her. The girl was about her height with dark blue eyes, long blonde hair and a killer body. Ashley cleared her dry throat and smiled her Davies smile.

"No service with a smile?" Ashley threw back hoping that the girl was at least a tiny bit gay.

"Are you going to tip me?"

"Probably"

"In that case 'How may I help you'?" The girl replied plastering a massive smile on her face which made Ashley giggle.

"That's better. Can I please have a latte with hazelnut syrup and a shot of espresso?" Ashley ordered as she eyed the cute blonde.

"Not planning on sleeping tonight?" The girl asked as she put the order through the til.

"Don't think I can after what I just saw"

"Care to share?"

"I just walked in on my sister and her boyfriend having sex in my new apartment" Ashley explaining trying to block out the images that were now plaguing her brain.

"Euw, nothing worse than straight sex either. You can have an extra shot for free" The girl giggled. Ashley smiled as the comment only confirmed that the girl was more than likely gay.

"Thank you….and this is the part where you tell me your name" Ashley said as she looked for the girls nametag trying to be smart but failing.

"I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours"

"Ashley" she stated quickly as she held out her hand. The blonde took Ashley's hand and shook it gently.

"Colby"

"Cool name"

"Yea I know. That will be $7.50 please" Colby replied cooly with the same confidence that Ashley usually had. Ashley handed over the money as well as a piece of paper with her number on. Colby took the money then examined the number not giving anything away.

"Enjoy your coffee Ashley" Colby finally said with a smile as she carefully placed the number in her back pocket.

"I will, maybe I'll see you around?"

"I'd say so"

Ashley smiled her nose crinkling smile and exited the shop opting the drink her coffee on the boardwalk. She loved people watching and she needed some time to clear her head after the evening she had had.

Spencer watched as Ashley left the room, chasing after her didn't work as the brunette was much quicker and before Spencer knew it she was driving off leaving her there. Running her fingers through her long hair Spencer let out a sigh. They had moved too quickly and now Ashley was running scared. Not only that but Carmen was acting all crazy and had probably scared Ashley even more. Heading back upstairs Spencer knew she had to deal with Carmen, again. Entering her room Spencer was annoyed to see Carmen lying on her bed like she had to right to.

"Looks like straightie ain't interested" Carmen mocked as she looked at Spencer with her trademark cocky grin.

"Carmen I can't keep doing this with you. We had a good time for a little while but it's over"

"Look Spencer I know you don't mean that. I promise I can be better for you, I love you"

"Carmen I don't love you, I'm sorry"

"Do you love her?" Carmen asked sounding sincere for once and possibly hurt.

"I don't know Ashley very well but I know I want to, I know that I like being around her and that I am willing to do anything to make her like me back"

"What do you mean? She's liked you for ages" Carmen stated thinking she was pointing out the obvious.

"She used to but I hurt her and now I've fucked up again"

"Well you let me know if you change your mind Spencer" Carmen offered as she left the room. Spencer headed down the stairs to clean up the mess. After cleaning everything away Spencer dropped on to the sofa. She was psychically and emotionally drained but she still wanted to talk to Ashley, to make sure she was ok or at least talking to Spencer. Grabbing her phone she dialled Ashley's number only to hear the phone ringing close to her. Picking up the cushion and following the music of dashboard confessional Spencer located the phone smiling to herself once she realised that Ashley would have to see her to get her phone back. As she placed the phone down on the side it started to ring again revealing a number that wasn't in Ashley's phonebook. After a slight internal debate Spencer answered the phone.

"_Hello"_

"_Hi Ashley?" A female voice asked from the other end._

"_No who is this?" Spencer replied in a less than welcoming tone._

"_Oh erm my names Colby, I'm trying to get hold of Ashley is she there?"_

"_No but can I take a message?" Spencer nearly choked on the words and dreaded whatever was going to come out of the girl's mouth._

"_Just tell her to call me and that I hoped she enjoyed her coffee" Colby instructed clearly oblivious to Spencer's tone._

"_No problem" _

Spencer hung up the call and placed the phone down. Her stomach started doing somersaults as she realised that Ashley wasn't hers to take. Ashley wasn't interested in Spencer which was probably why she ran away earlier. Spencer felt like crying as the realisation of how much she had fucked up when it came to Ashley hit her. Hearing a light tap at the door Spencer wiped her eyes just in case and opened the door.

"Ash" Spencer gasped hoping that the moisture on her cheeks weren't visible in that moment or that light.

"I left my phone" Ashley replied with no emotion.

"Yea I know. Erm it rang so I answered it without thinking" Spencer confessed knowing that she had to give Ashley the message if she wanted to get back in Ashley's good books.

"Oh, who was it?" Ashley asked praying it wasn't Colby because as much as she was annoyed with Spencer she would never deliberately hurt her.

"Some chick called Colby, she said that you should call her and that she enjoyed the coffee"

"Ok cool can I have my phone back?" Ashley asked wanting so badly to leave even though she could tell Spencer was upset and all she wanted to do was make her feel better. Spencer handed Ashley the phone and put on her best fake smile.

"Ash about earlier…." Spencer tried but she was soon interrupted.

"It was a mistake Spence, a fun but silly mistake. I really want to be friends with you Spencer but that's it. The whole Carmen only proved how messy this is and I don't want messy"

"Hence coffee girl?" Spencer dug immediately regretting her icey tone.

"Spencer I have known for like 5 month and I have spent most of that time watching you with Carmen, knowing that she was no good for you. I showed you I wanted you even though it would have jeopardised everything I had been working towards at that time and you hurt me, you purposefully hurt me and then ignored me for 2 months. As much as I would love to forget all of that, I can't especially when I'm not sure that I even know you or that I want to know you anymore. So I am moving on with my life possibly with Colby maybe not but I'm moving on because I can't let you hurt me again" Ashley finally let everything she had been feeling pour out and it felt good. Being honest with Spencer was something that she had needed to do for a while and she felt lighter. Ashley went to leave but an apprehensive hand on her forearm stopped her.

"Ashley I get that I fucked up with you, I was mean and selfish and I regret that more than anything now. Kissing you earlier only made me realise just how much I like you and how much I want to get to know you more. Date all the girls you want because I will be waiting for you when you're ready no matter how long it takes and no matter what it takes" Spencer had to respond and refused to let Ashley walk away without being honest for once.

"I don't want you to wait Spencer"

"Well I'm going to whether you want me to or not. I know we can have something great and I refuse to let that go" Spencer promised trying to sound confident in her words but the nervous look in her eyes revealed otherwise. Ashley was surprised by Spencer's honesty and determination but she refused to believe the words that left Spencer's mouth.

"I'm afraid you don't have much of a say in that Spence" Ashley snapped annoyed that she felt guilty for walking away from whatever was happening between them. Spencer looked wounded by Ashley's harsh tone but she replaced it with a smile.

"See you around Ash" Spencer said as Ashley walked away knowing that somehow she would win Ashley no matter what.


	22. Call That A Comeback

Hide My Heart-Call That A Comeback

It had been a week since Spencer last saw Ashley, according to Kyla the elusive girl had been really busy with apartment stuff but Spencer couldn't help but think that Ashley was simply avoiding her. On the plus side Spencer had avoided any further run ins with Carmen since the weekend from hell which made her slightly happier. Spencer was currently sat in the middle of the quad talking to Aiden who had also managed to avoid the topic of Ashley Davies, even going as far as leaving the room whenever Spencer asked or not so subtly changing the topic which meant he was hiding something.

"So Aiden what's Kyla and Ashley's new apartment like?" Spencer quizzed as she sipped her cherry coke, enjoying the fond memories that now came with the sugary drink.

"Great. So you gonna come to my game tonight?" Aiden replied changing the subject again which only egged Spencer on.

"Suppose so. Do you see Ashley much?" Spencer prodded further knowing he would break without Kyla around to protect him.

"Nope. Do you like cheese?"

"You know that I do. Hey does Ashley like cheese?" Spencer asked with a smile knowing any second now he would crack.

"I don't know, I know nothing about Ashley so please stop asking me!" Aiden snapped as he stormed off leaving Spencer sat by herself. After a few short moments Spencer was joined by Kyla who had clearly just ran into Aiden.

"What did you do to Aiden?" Kyla queried.

"Nothing I swear" Spencer giggled.

"Look Spencer instead of torturing Aiden why don't you just call her?" Kyla advised.

"Call who?" Spencer played dumb.

"You know who" Kyla scorned not playing Spencer's games.

"I want to but…."

"But what? I heard about your little speech and so far you have nothing to back it up with. Stop being such a girl and do something" Kyla snapped clearly fed up.

"I've never done this before Ky. Nobody has ever been interested in me until this summer, I have dated a total of one girl and I have no idea how to win somebody over. I'm fucking clueless and I don't know what to do" Spencer exclaimed feeling dumb.

"Look Spence I don't know what to tell you but just try starting off simple. Maybe just be her friend or something, get to know each other as friends and see what happens"

"You're like a lil yoda" Spencer joked getting a hip check from Kyla in return as they headed back into school.

Spencer sat in English debating whether to text Ashley, weighing up her options and she figured the only thing she could do was bite the bullet. Carefully getting her phone from her pocket so she wasn't noticed she started writing a text.

**Hey how is the new apartment? S x**

Pressing send Spencer hoped that her simple conversation starter would work but the end of the period there was no reply. Spencer sulked through the rest of the school day wishing she had ignored Kyla's stupid advice. Happy that she could finally get home Spencer headed to her car in the car lot spotting Aiden on the way.

"Hey wuss" Spencer replied at the impish wave that Aiden through in her direction.

"You not coming to the game?"

"Is it now?"

"Well in half an hour" Aiden reminded her knowing full well that they had had this conversation a number of times over the past week.

"Ok sure is Kyla here still?"

"Yea she's in the quad with Ashley" Aiden answered with a smile knowing his best friend would be happy with the information.

"Ashley has agreed to come to your stupid game?" Spencer asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well yea, Kyla is throwing an after party at their apartment so Ashley figured she should at least watch the game"

"Cool, well good luck and all that shit" Spencer smiled as she power walked towards the quad. Squinting at the sun as she looked across the vast quad Spencer spotted Kyla and Ashley sat down talking next to some other people. Trying her best to be confident and not a mopey cow Spencer heads towards them. Kyla spotted her as she walked closer and waved for her to join them which she happily did.

"I didn't think you would come" Kyla stated as she shared a weird look with Ashley.

"I wasn't going to but Aiden cornered me by my car and kind of guilt me into it" Spencer explained trying to make eye contact with Ashley but she failed miserably. Kyla reluctantly scooted up so Spencer could sit next to her on the bench. Ashley was sat on the opposite side and was trying her best not to look at Spencer and seemed to be looking towards another group of people to their right.

"Hey Ash you ok?" Spencer asked feeling like an idiot. Ashley turned her head looking slightly uncomfortable but she was finally looking directly at Spencer.

"Yea great" Ashley replied quickly once again giving Kyla a strange look.

"Hey Spence can I talk to you in private for a minute?" Kyla asked practically dragging Spencer away to a table further away. Once she managed to free her arm Spencer looked at her friend for an explanation.

"What's up?"

"Look Spencer I didn't know you were coming and well Ashley didn't either"

"So?"

"She is kind of here with somebody else" Kyla mumbled waiting for a breakdown or something. Spencer looked over towards Ashley and realised that sat next to her was a blonde girl. Ashley was laughing at something she just said which only made her feel sick. Realising that she had no right to overreact or get mad at Kyla she simply shook her head and smiled.

"It's ok Kyla don't worry, I get that Ashley is moving on and I'm ok with that" Spencer lied hoping she would start to believe herself but the pain in her stomach begged to differ.

"Spencer you don't need to lie to me. I know that this sucks but you should stay"

"I intend to. I know that if I want to be friends with Ashley I need to deal with this sort of thing" Spencer explained with a bigger smile. Kyla reluctantly accepted Spencer's words and they headed back over to the table. Spencer noticed Ashley look at Kyla with a confused expression and then back at Spencer. Sitting back down everybody sat there awkwardly for what seemed like an eternity.

"Hey I don't think we've met" The mystery blonde girl next to Ashley pointed out as she eyed Spencer.

"No we haven't I'm Spencer" Spencer replied sticking out her hand for the girl to take which she did.

"Colby nice to meet you" The blonde beamed as Ashley looked like she wanted to die.

"Nice to meet you Colby. So are you a big fan of high school basketball?" Spencer asked trying to be polite and trying to ignore the strange silent sister conversation that Ashley and Kyla were having.

"Not massively but my brother plays for the away team so I figured I should support him at some point. What about you?"

"My best friend plays for King and he pouted at me until I agreed to come" Spencer answered hating that this girl seemed genuinely nice and that she wasn't just putting on a show to get into Ashley's good books.

"You mean Aiden?" Colby asked completely unaware of the weirdness around the table.

"Yes do you know him?"

"I met him the other night after I popped up to Ashley's apartment to check it out" Colby's words seemed to chip away at Spencer. From that sentence alone it was clear that they had already been on a date and that she had already seen Ashley's apartment both of these were something Spencer was never privileged to.

"Cool. How is the new apartment Ashley?" Spencer changed her line of questioning to the brunette who had managed to ignore the same question via text message.

"It's great. We should head inside so we can get good seats" Ashley replied simply clearly feeling weird for some reason.

"Do you guys mind if I sit with you?" Spencer asked meaning the group but only looking at Ashley so she could give her a chance to tell her to go away.

"No that's fine" Ashley smiled grateful for how Spencer was acting. When she had spotted her walking across the quad a few minutes she immediately felt awful for a number of reasons. Firstly she didn't reply to Spencer's perfectly nice text message earlier and now she was on a date with Spencer there. Ashley hadn't wanted to text back but she was with Colby and didn't want to be rude and she had no intention of going to game let alone bringing Colby but Kyla had asked making it extremely clear that Spencer wouldn't be attending. Ashley had text Colby the following day apologising for not calling back but explaining she had had a weird weekend. Colby responded after a carefully calculated amount of time with something witty and sweet which made Ashley smile. After 3 days of texting they met for coffee and talked most of the night. The fact that they were at the game together was a slight coincidence and had seemed like a great idea at first but now Ashley wasn't too sure as she watched the two blondes interact freely.

During half time Spencer excused herself to go to the bathroom needing a moment to clear her head. Yes she liked Colby and got on with her but she had the one person Spencer couldn't have which sucked. Looking in the mirror Spencer glared at herself and put back on her game face but as she turned to walk away she saw Ashley stood behind her.

"Shit you scared me Ash" Spencer squealed steading herself on the wash basin which made Ashley giggle.

"Sorry, I needed to pee" Ashley exclaimed pointing towards the cubicle.

"Go for it" Spencer said as she stepped aside so Ashley could walk by.

"I didn't know you'd be here Spencer" Ashley stated from nowhere stopping Spencer in her tracks.

"I know Ashley, you wouldn't do something like that. It's ok, I'm ok and Colby is great" Spencer was saying the words but she didn't know where they were coming from.

"She is but its early days. I was going to text you back you know" Ashley added still not moving.

"Why didn't you?"

"I was with Colby and I didn't want to be rude, I guess" Ashley explained as she fiddled with her hoodie.

"Are you two dating now?" Spencer asked the one question she didn't think she could handle to the answer to.

"I've only known her a week"

"Yea but sometimes you just know" Spencer responded hoping Ashley would pick up on her double meaning.

"I really need to pee, see you back out there" Ashley announced as she made her way into the cubicle shutting the door behind her. Leaning against the door Ashley waited until she heard the outside door close and she let out the sigh she had been holding in.


	23. Set Fire To The Rain

Hide My Heart- Set Fire To The Rain

After her bathroom run with Ashley Spencer made her excuses and headed home. She liked Colby which only made planning to get Ashley back that much harder. Not only was lovely but she was hot and Ashley seemed to like her. Spencer the rest of the evening hidden in her room wondering how everything had changed so much, not only was her best friend now popular but she had come out of the closet for the wrong girl and she had screwed any chances she may have had with the right girl. At about 10pm Spencer heard some noises coming from Aiden's house so she popped her head out of the window to check it out surprised to see a mass of kids from King High setting up what appeared to be a party in the back yard. Spencer assumed that Aiden's parents were away and that King had one the game. A if on queue Spencer's phone rang revealing Aiden's number.

"Hey where did you go?" Aiden asked shouting slightly above the noise.

"I didn't feel great so I went home" Spencer lied.

"I'm sorry Spencer I didn't know that Colby was going to be there with Ash"

"It's cool Aiden, totally not your fault"

"Why don't you come over?"

"I'm already in bed" Spencer lied again.

"Dude I can totally see you in your window" Aiden laughed waving at Spencer who waved back.

"Yea well I was just checking your house wasn't being robbed and I can see it's not so I'm off to bed"

"Kyla just said to get your ass over here otherwise she will come and get you herself"

"Tell her thanks for her kind offer but I'm seriously fine and quite happy chilling"

"Don't be lame Carlin"

"Don't beg Dennison it makes you sound desperate"

"I am...come on please" Aiden pleaded one last time.

"Sorry dude not interested but have a good night" Spencer said before hanging up the phone. She knew Ashley would be there and in the interest of being friends she didn't want to be around her and her new love interest. Spencer knew she would have to deal with it if things got serious but she figured she put in enough time at the basketball game. Spencer relaxed on to her single bed and switched on her t.v flicking mindlessly through the channels until she found an old episode of friends. She knew every episode word for word but there was something timeless about the show that helped Spencer relax. After a few episodes Spencer had drifted off to sleep until she was rudely awoken by a loud noise outside of her bedroom window. Looking at her phone she saw that it was 1 am and she must've a sleep for longer than she originally thought. Grabbing the baseball bat that Glen had given her from under her bed Spencer crept closer to the window slowly praying that it was just a drunk Aiden or a robber, anything other than Carmen. As she reached about a few feet away from the window a small figure stumbled through making a loud crash on the floor making Spencer scream and fall back dropping her only form of protection in the process. After a few moments of silence Spencer recognised the whispered swear words so she flicked on her bed side lamp. The light revealed a clearly drunk Ashley lying on the floor holding her knee in pain.

"Ash what are you doing?" Spencer asked trying to stifle her laughter.

"Kyla told me to come get you" Ashley replied still a bit breathless from the climb.

"You could've just called me" Spencer pointed out grabbing her phone and seeing she had about 10 missed calls.

"I did but apparently you can sleep through anything" Ashley said sitting up slightly.

"Anything except a crazed lunatic trying to climb through my very large and open window" Spencer joked helping Ashley up.

"It is really dark out there and it looks a lot easier that it actually is" Ashley argued as straightened out her vest top and jean skirt.

"You have no shoes on" Spencer noted as she checked Ashley out for any injuries.

"They fell off when I was climbing up the pipe thing"

"Ash did Aiden not tell you that there's a ladder down there?" Spencer laughed harder this time.

"Clearly not, stupid boys and their lack of information" Ashley mumbled.

"How's the party going?"

"Come check out and find out for yourself" Ashley offered with a cheeky smile which was completely adorable to Spencer.

"Ash it's like 1am, I've been asleep, I look like hell so I'm going to pass thank you"

"You look kind of cute actually" Ashley replied quickly causing both girls to blush.

"Flattery will not get me to that party but thank you"

"Come on please?" Ashley begged trying to pout but the alcohol in her system seemed to have affected her ability to do a lot.

"Not tonight Ash but thanks for the offer"

"Ugh fine what are you doing anyway?" Ashley asked taking a seat on Spencer's bed which made the blonde nervous.

"I was sleeping until you attempted and failed to come through my window"

"I resent that! I got through the window I just messed up the approach" Ashley debated.

"So where's Colby?" Spencer asked trying her best to act unaffected by the name as it passed her lips.

"She had to leave early, she has work in the morning" Ashley explained looking less than impressed.

"That sucks at least you got to spend some time with her" Spencer was trying and Ashley just looked at her like she had grown a second head.

"Yea I guess so" Ashley replied glumly feeling the effects of the booze taking over her body.

"Spence?"

"Yea?"

"Could you get me a glass of water I don't feel well?" Ashley asked with a glazed look in her eyes. Spencer nodded and quietly headed down to the kitchen to get a cold bottle of water. Heading back into the bedroom Spencer couldn't help but smile when her eyes landed on a sleeping Ashley. The small girl had put on one of Spencer's old hoodies and had cuddled into a pillow. Spencer tried to wake her up but Ashley was pretty much past out. Spencer grabbed her cell phone and dialled Kyla's number finally getting an answer after what seemed a life time.

"SPENNNCCCCCCEEERRR" Kyla slurred making Spencer pull the phone away from her ear.

"Hey Ky, erm Ash came over to make me come to the party but she fell asleep and I don't know what to do" Spencer explained hoping that Kyla would come collect her drunk sister.

"Just leave her asleep that's what friends do Spencer. See ya" Kyla laughed as she hung up the phone. In Kyla's drunken stated she had made some sense. Friends do sleep at each others houses and they help each other out when inebriated. Spencer lifted the duvet from the foot of the bed and pulled it over Ashley and then lay next to the slumbering brunette. Spencer reached over and turned the light off without disturbing Ashley. Spencer lay there completely stiff scared to move in case she crossed any boundaries. After lying there motionless Spencer felt a warm arm drape around her waist closely followed by Ashley laying her head on Spencer's now pounding chest. Spencer adjusted her body so she could put her arm around Ashley and pull her closer. Before drifting off Spencer took a moment to memorise the feeling of having Ashley Davies in her arms because she knew in that moment that this is what she wanted more than anything in the world.

Ashley woke up the next morning slowly and painfully. Her neck was hurting and the light in the unfamiliar room was offending her eyes. After a few moments Ashley recognised where she was and exactly why her neck was hurting. Sleeping next to her was a peaceful Spencer Carlin who looked as beautiful as ever. Ashley racked her brains over how she ended up in Spencer's bed in this position but the pain in her head was stopping any sense from being made. Wincing in pain Ashley lifted her head trying not to wake to the other girl but failing miserably. Spencer opened her eyes after being disturbed by some movement and saw a confused looking Ashley looking down at her. Spencer could see the confusion overwhelming Ashley so she stuttered to explain before things got out of hand.

"You came here last night drunk and then you passed out on my bed. I got in and you snuggled into me, I'm sorry" Spencer spat out sitting up so their bodies were no longer touching.

"You don't need to apologise Spence. I should though for being a drunken idiot" Ashley replied missing the warmth of Spencer's body already.

"You were a cute drunken idiot. Well you were until you started snoring" Spencer teased getting a smack on the arm from an offended Ashley.

"I do not snore" Ashley argued.

"You sound like a motorbike Ash" Spencer laughed relieved that Ashley wasn't mad at her.

"I don't believe you. Thank you for looking after me though, you didn't need to do that" Ashley stated changing the mood of the conversation to slightly more serious.

"I was happy to Ash so don't worry. There are some painkillers in my drawer if you're feeling rough" Spencer advised and Ashley grabbed the pills swallowing 2 straight away.

"I have no idea why I drank that much" Ashley exclaimed collapsing back onto the bed.

"Do want breakfast?" Spencer asked jumping off the bed.

"Won't you parents mind a random girl rocking up for breakfast?"

"Both of them are at work, they are never here on weekends so I won't tell them if you don't" Spencer explained.

"That sucks that they're not here much"

"It does but I argue so much with my Mom at the moment that it's probably a good thing"

"Why are you arguing with your Mom?"

"She isn't happy about the whole gay thing plus she hated Carmen" Spencer said as she pulled on a hoodie over her vest top.

"Your Mom has good taste" Ashley joked sitting up again readying herself to move.

"She wants me to marry Aiden" Spencer stated looking less than impressed which only made Ashley laugh out loud.

"You totally should you two would make such a cute couple. I thought you two were an item for ages"

"Really?"

"Yea you just seemed really close and then when you turned up to the party I was insanely jealous that you came with him" Ashley reminisced with a fond smile on her face.

"Why were you jealous Ash?"

"Because he had you and I wanted you...then" Ashley added the last part on to cover her tracks.

"Well you definitely had more of a chance with me than he did. Not only do I like girls but Aiden is like my Brother so it would be incest or something if we ever hooked up" Spencer replied surprised by Ashley's calmness when talking about the not so distant past.

"Did you two ever try?" Ashley enquired.

"Once but it was a disaster especially as we both were imagining the other person as Megan Fox" Spencer laughed pointing at the Megan Fox poster above her bed.

"You up to anything this weekend other than staring at Megan Fox?" Ashley asked as she finally stood up.

"Nope she's about as close as I have to a love life at the moment" Spencer admitted hoping she didn't sound like too much of a loser.

"Do you want to hang out? There's a few of us going to the beach and you're more than welcome" Ashley offered.

"Maybe I'll see how I feel"

"Come on Spence don't be lame"

"Fine I'll come but not for long...Megan will miss me" Spencer smiled as she headed down the stairs to start breakfast leaving Ashley alone in her room.

Ashley leant on Spencer's bed taking in the scent of the hoodie she was still wearing not remembering when she had put it on or even if it was offered to her. Ashley felt stupid for harassing Spencer but it had led to an actually conversation for the first time in a while which made Ashley smile.


	24. Hello, I'm in Delaware

Thank you for the few reviews for the last chapter. Seems to be less people interested in this story but I'm going to carry it on as I enjoy writing it x

Hide My Heart- Hello, I'm in Delaware

After breakfast Ashley had left Spencer alone in her family home and the blonde couldn't help but beam with joy over the progress between her and Ashley. Spencer was just happy to be talking to other girl with no drama or agenda and they were now getting on better than they ever had done. It still sucked for Spencer that Ashley was seeing somebody else but she knew she needed to respect that.

Spencer had spent the past half an hour trying to make up her mind about going to the beach. So far she had mostly gone around in circles batting different scenarios around her brain and had now finally come to the conclusion that her last visit to the beach with Ashley had ended ok plus she was in no position to turn down spending time with the other girl. Spencer put some jean shorts over her black and white striped bikini then grabbed her beach bag so she could head over to the beach. On her way out of the front door she spotted Aiden and Kyla in his drive way clearly about to head out somewhere. Putting her aviators on Spencer headed over hoping she would be able to get a lift to the beach.

"You two look relatively human considering" Spencer pointed as she leaned against Aiden's truck. Kyla was wearing massive sunglasses and a baseball cap clearly still delicate from the previous evenings activities.

"Forget about us how did your evening go?" Kyla asked ignoring Spencer's remark and Aiden's warning look.

"I'm sure you already know" Spencer replied with a smile knowing full well that Kyla has probably already interrogated Ashley,

"Maybe I do...Maybe I don't"

"Oh God will you two just get this gossip over and done with, my head is no condition to deal with this" Aiden snapped adjusting his starter cap in frustration.

"Fine! Ash slept over in my bed and we actually had a proper conversation this morning and she even invited me to the beach" Spencer blurted a mixture of excitement and nerves.

"Progress I like it" Kyla murmured with a head nod and a smile at Spencer.

"So have you spoken to her?"

"Nope sorry but thanks for sharing" Kyla laughed loving that she had got one up on Spencer who was now scowling at the shorter girl.

"Do you want a ride to the beach Spencer?" Aiden asked ignoring all the girlie crap.

"Thought you'd never ask" Spencer answered as she climbed into the back seat.

Ashley had no idea why she invited Spencer to the beach, she was trying to move on from her which was getting more and more difficult. Ashley was surprised when Colby called her about half an hour ago to say she had the rest of the day off. Ashley was happy as she enjoyed spending time with the girl but she had invited Spencer who would probably be turning up shortly and she was worried that Spencer would think she had done it on purpose.

Ashley was sat on the cabana watching the boys play touch football while Colby joined in much to everyone's enjoyment. Ashley couldn't deny that Colby was stunning with her shiny blonde hair and deep blue eyes. The fact that Colby looked very similar to Spencer had been pointed out a number of times by both Kyla and Aiden but Ashley chose to ignore it putting it down to a happy coincidence. Colby was very confident and forward which impressed Ashley especially as she had the same attitude.

Ashley looked across the long beach and spotted her sister with Aiden heading down the sand with Spencer behind them. Ashley turned to watch the 4 of them approach admiring Spencer as she walked shyly behind the couple. Ashley could tell that Spencer was apprehensive about coming today and now that Colby was there she was probably going to make up some sort of excuse to leave. Ashley felt so awkward when she woke up this morning that she wanted to make it up to Spencer some how and this wasn't it. She figured they could have hung out but that was never going to happen now. Ashley swallowed as she followed Spencer's gaze to the football game. The blonde stopped walking and tugged on Aiden's arm clearly pointing out Colby for them both Ashley thought to herself. The 3 friends seemed to be debating their options, that was until Spencer spotted Ashley looking at them. Looking defeated the blonde headed over to Ashley with a shy smile. Ashley couldn't help but scan her hidden eyes over Spencer's toned body, internally scolding herself she tore her eyes away.

"You came?" Ashley asked dumbly as Spencer dropped her beach bag to the sand closely followed by Kyla who dramatically dropped on to the cabana.

"Nothing gets past you" Spencer joked offering a smile with her comment which Ashley happily returned.

"Well I'm glad you're here" Ashley promised as she made room for Spencer to join her. The blonde decided to shake out her towel so she could lie on that instead, feeling that this would be a safer option for her and her hormones.

"You look a bit brighter than you did this morning" Spencer said a matter of factly as she sat down and started applying sun cream.

"You said I looked cute" Ashley pouted pretending to be offended by Spencer's flippant remark.

"You did and you do" Spencer replied with a shy smile focusing more on her sun cream application than the blushing brunette in front of her.

"Hey guys I didn't know you were coming" Colby stated as she grabbed a bottle of water from the cooler. Ashley leaned back so her attention was on the girl she was kind of dating rather than the girl that had possibly broken her heart not too long ago. Colby took a seat on the edge of the cabana as she sipped her water.

"Same here" Spencer answered as she lay back on to her towel hoping the awkward moment would just disappear.

"I got out of work early and I figured Ash would be stuck here with a bunch of boys" Colby continued being as lovely as ever.

"That's sweet of you" Spencer remarked with her best 'nice' smile she could muster. Every inch of her wanted to hate Colby but she was nothing but sweet. Ashley looked uncomfortable as she lay back on her pillow and Spencer had noticed this. Spencer had tried to escape the minute she had spotted Colby but Ashley had already seen them so she had no chance. Now she would have to lie there and watch Ashley with her perfect girlfriend for a normal amount of time before she made her excuses and left as quickly as her legs would let her.

"So did you go to the party last night Spencer?" Colby asked as she applied more lotion.

"No actually I stayed at home and went to bed early" Spencer replied honestly.

"Lucky you, Ashley was not in the best condition this morning" Colby giggled as she rubbed Ashley's leg.

"I know right" The words left Spencer's mouth before she could even think about what she was saying. Ashley froze and Colby looked between the two girls with a confused expression plastered across her face.

"You saw Ashley this morning?" Colby asked still smiling which made Spencer even more nervous. She looked over at Ashley for some sort of answer but as they were both sporting sunglasses she had no idea what to do,

"Erm...well,,," Spencer stuttered as she searched for the words that wouldn't make the situation look bad. Luckily Ashley sat up and took off her glasses saving Spencer from word vomit.

"Yea I kind of crashed at Spencer's last night by accident, even took over her bed" Ashley explained calmly.

"Why?" Colby asked still smiling.

"She wouldn't come to the party so Kyla sent me to get her. After busting in through her window I passed out and ended up sleeping in Spencer's bed" Ashley continued trying to be as nonchalant as possible about the situation.

"Poor Spencer" Colby laughed as she kissed Ashley on the cheek sweetly, letting her know that she wasn't bothered. Ashley leaned into the kiss and then caught Colby by the lips which only made Spencer feel like she had been stabbed in the heart by a rusty knife. Turning on her ipod Spencer drifted off into her own world ignoring the girl she was falling for and all the other distractions around her.

Spencer felt something cold dripping onto her belly and when she opened her eyes she saw a giggling Ashley above her with an ice cream in her hand.

"Ash my stomach is covered in cookie ice cream" Spencer whined as she wiped away the offending liquid. Ashley did the same thing again and this time she laughed even harder.

"Here have some vanilla" Ashley replied dripping some vanilla ice cream from her other hand on to Spencer's toned stomach.

"Oh My God...I really hope you're ready for getting your ass kicked Davies" Spencer growled as she wiped her stomach again, this time licking her finger which only distracted the giggling brunette above her. In one quick movement Spencer sat up and grabbed Ashley's ankle pulling her to the sand. While Ashley was falling Spencer grabbed one of the cones so she could exact her revenge. Shuffling across the sand Spencer managed to pin Ashley down and was no straddling her at the waist while hold the ice cream she had stolen above her face.

"You wouldn't" Ashley challenged as she tried to wiggle free.

"Oh I would" Spencer threw back with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm sorry Spence, please don't" Ashley pleaded trying to put on her saddest face.

"You covered my stomach in ice cream Ash so I will be getting revenge" Spencer pointed out as she gestured at her stomach. Ashley took her eyes away from the ice cream that Spencer was holding above her face and focused on Spencer's abs, slowly reaching out her hand she ran a finger across Spencer's warm, sticky skin scooping up some ice cream and then licked some of the stray ice cream from her finger. The light touch from Ashley had sent Spencer into a slight melt down and all thoughts had left her brain. Brown eyes bore into blue for what felt like an eternity and the tension was insane. Both girls knew the moment needed to be stopped before they both did something that neither of them were ready for. In one motion Spencer got the ice cream in her hard and gently rubbing it into Ashley shocked face. Spencer stayed on top of Ashley and the brunette laughed through the mouthful of ice cream.

"I cannot believe you actually just did that Spencer" Ashley exclaimed as she sat up, her face now closer to Spencer's.

"You started it Davies" Spencer whispered not knowing whether she meant the double meaning that laced the sentence.

"I guess I did" Ashley replied quietly as she studied Spencer's expression. Spencer suddenly became aware of where they were and who they were with so quickly climbed off Ashley offering the ice cream covered brunette a hand which she took, taking once last dig by wiping her ice cream covered hand down Spencer's arm.

"You two done with the fore play?" Aiden asked from his sun lounger shocking both of them. Ashley looked around and realised that Colby had gone into the sea with Kyla which meant she hadn't seen her play fight with Spencer.

"Get fucked Aiden" Ashley grumbled as she tried to wipe her face.

"I'm going to go wash off in the sea" Ashley advised as she almost stormed off down the beach. Spencer watched her retreating form appreciating her perfect body.

"You two were practically doing it then" Aiden pointed out as he sat up removing his sunglasses.

"I know, I can't help myself around her Aid no matter how much I try" Spencer replied as she continued to watch the object of her affections get further and further away.

"If it makes you feel any better she was totally loving it"

"Why has she ran off to Colby then if she enjoyed it so much?" Spencer challenged as she watched Ashley and Colby kissing in the ocean.

"Ashley is scared that you will hurt her again so she is protecting her self with a Spencer look a like"

"Colby doesn't look like me"

"Tall, blonde hair. Blue eyes...do I need to continue?"

"Doesn't mean anything"

"It all means a lot more than you think Carlin" Aiden said before putting back on his shades and turning his attention back to the sun leaving Spencer to think none Ashley thoughts.


	25. Hands Down

Thank you for all the reviews and feedback. I have to admit that I love the reactions that this fic is getting because it means that it makes it more challenging to write. I still find it so bizarre that nobody wants a 'Spashley' ending and to be fair it may not happen. Anyway thanks for the support and for getting involved.

Hide My Heart- Hands Down

Ashley had washed the ice cream from her body and was now back on her cabana watching Spencer interact with Aiden. Ashley couldn't help but admire the stunning blonde and knew that no matter how much she tried there was always going to be a part of her that wanted Spencer. She was having fun with Colby but the older girl had already made it clear that she wasn't looking for anything too serious but Ashley still felt guilty for leading her on or leading Spencer on, she wasn't even sure any more. She spotted Colby heading over with some drinks that she had left a few minutes to get. Seeing the two blondes practically side to side only confirmed just how not ready Ashley was to move on. She saw the blatant similarities between the two and realised that everybody else had probably already picked up on this. Ashley was so consumed by her own thoughts that she hadn't noticed Colby taking a seat next to her, her eyes now also glued on Spencer.

"How long have you liked her?" Colby asked sounding quite relaxed. Ashley quickly averted her gaze and tried to think of a good excuse to explain why she was staring at Spencer but words were currently failing her. Colby gave Ashley an encouraging smile and placed a kind hand on her exposed shoulder.

"Ashley I'm not stupid, I see the way that you look at her and the way she looks at you. Damn I have only seen you two interact a total of 2 times and it is extremely clear that there is something there" Colby explained.

"I really like you though" Ashley spluttered feeling like the worlds biggest bitch.

"I like you too Ashley but that doesn't mean you don't like Spencer. What happened?"

"The usual back and forth drama of dykedom" Ashley sighed sipping her iced tea.

"Bad break up?"

"We never actually managed to get together actually. We have never been at the same point at the same time and we only seem to hurt each other"

"You only hurt other because you both clearly care so much. Look if you like her you should just go for it"

"It's not that simple Colby. She has just got out of her first gay relationship with some crazy chick and I don't think I'm ready to deal with that plus she doesn't seem to bothered by the fact I'm dating you"

"Ouch...at least you're honest about using me" Colby sulked but soon smiled.

"The night I met you was just after Spencer and I had kissed properly, it was wonderful but then her crazy ex turned up and that terrified me..."

"So you picked some random coffee house chick to help you out" Colby joked still trying to act upset.

"It wasn't like that Colby, you are just chilled and cool. Look the whole me and Spencer thing is never going to happen so I would very much like to see what happens between me and you" Ashley said knowing full well that Colby would quickly reject that idea.

"Look Ashley as lovely as that offer is I'm going to gratefully decline. I like you but this was never going to be anything serious plus you need to deal with the whole Spencer thing sooner rather than later"

"What if I don't want?"

"Then you're an idiot, a hot one but an idiot nonetheless" Colby smiled hugging Ashley.

"Can we still hang out?" Ashley asked inhaling Colby's scent.

"Definitely but I need to head off. I totally just met this girl at the drink stand" Colby explained as she stuck her tongue out at Ashley who smacked her arm in response.

"You're unbelievable!" Ashley scolded.

"Ashley you and Spencer were practically having sex earlier when I was in the sea" Colby threw back with a victorious smile while Ashley blushed once again.

"You saw that?"

"Does a bear shit in the woods?" Colby challenged.

"Charming, ok so I'm not so subtle"

"And neither is she" Colby whispered as she pointed behind Ashley to Spencer who was trying to act casual and like she wasn't staring at the two girls talking. Ashley dropped back on to her towel feeling the emotions rushing through her body. There was no denying that she had a thing for Spencer Carlin, even though they had hurt each other in the past and even though they still didn't know each other properly she couldn't help but wonder. Having never been in a relationship with anyone before Ashley was unsure of what was required in a partner in order to make it work but she figured been hot for them was a good start. As much as she wanted to jump at Spencer she knew that she had to sit back and let things happen. Colby placed a gentle kiss on Ashley's forehead and signalled that she would call her. Ashley grumbled something inaudible and continued to drift off into her own little world.

"Where did Colby shoot off to?" A booming male voice asked from above Ashley making her jump.

"She had stuff to do" Ashley replied once she realised it was only Aiden.

"So she's pretty cool" Aiden was determined to continue talking no matter how uninterested Ashley looked.

"Yep she's awesome"

"So Spencer's parents are away so she was going to have a pool party at her place" Aiden explained.

"Good for Spencer" Ashley replied sitting up and realising that she must have drifted off as the beach was emptier than it had been.

"She told me to invite you"

"Why can't she invite me herself?"

"She wanted to but you were out cold. Glen called her and picked her up so they could go get supplies for the party. He's back for the weekend so he's taking full advantage of a parentless house"

"Oh, erm ok yea I might do. I should probably head home"

"Do you want a ride?"

"No thanks I have my car. See you later" Ashley quickly gathered her things and headed home so she could decide whether she wanted to go to the Carlin party or not.

"Since when did you get cool?" Glen asked his younger sister as they emptied bags of ice into a giant bucket. Glen looked very similar to Spencer but he had inherited their father's curly hair which always bugged him.

"I've always been cool" Spencer replied clearly not impressed by the accusation that she was anything but cool.

"No you haven't, you have always been quite the opposite"

"Ugh fine Aiden got cool and I tagged along for the ride"

"Sounds more believable. So who is Dennison dating now he's 'cool'?"

"Kyla Davies" Spencer answered as she started adding bottles of beer to the ice.

"No way, so does that mean that her sister is still single?" Glen asked with a pervy look which only annoyed Spencer.

"Actually she's dating somebody her name is Colby" Spencer added with a giggle.

"Wait Ashley plays for your team?" Glen nearly yelled clearly annoyed.

"Very much so which means you can't be all creepy older brother when she comes over" Spencer warned.

"Wait you two are friends?"

"Jesus Glen it's not like I was a complete social outcast before you left"

"So are you friends?"

"Kind of...it's complicated" Spencer didn't want to explain everything to her stupid brother so she tried to act casual.

"Woah...is there something going on between you two?" Glen asked holding his sister still so he could look at her eyes directly. Glen was convinced that he could always tell when Spencer was lying and this was his technique. Spencer breathed deeply and went to lie but Glen actually did have some sort of talent when it came to reading people so she knew lying would be pointless.

"There was, then there wasn't and now I have no idea. Like I said she is dating somebody and I just broke up with Carmen. Can we just leave it at that for now please?" Spencer pleaded and Glen nodded seeing that his sister was quite cut up over something and he knew that she would eventually spill if she wanted to. Glen gave Spencer a small awkward hug and they continued to get everything ready for the party.

A few hours later...

More people than Spencer had invited or expected had turned to her house. There were masses of teenagers jumping in and out of her pool drunkenly while Glen held court in the garden sharing stories of college. Aiden had disappeared with Kyla a while ago leaving Ashley to try and keep some of the house tidy. She had been secretly praying that Ashley would turn up but figured that she had probably made plans with Colby. Giving up hope Spencer headed up to her room knowing she would be safe from the masses who had taken over her house. Grabbing a 6 pack of beer Spencer unlock her door and crashed on her bed. The music from down the stairs was making her walls vibrate which she was grateful for as she was convinced that Kyla and Aiden were going at it in the other room.

She reached over and opened herself a beer enjoying the cold beverage wishing she had already drank more so this whole experience was more enjoyable. Spencer had no problems with parties and would normally enjoy it but the severe lack of Ashley Davies was a real downer especially after spending some of the day with her.

"You do know that the host of the party should probably be at the party" Ashley stated as she sat comfortably on the window ledge shocking Spencer and causing her to spill some of her beer.

"We have a front door you know?" Spencer smiled not moving from her crossed legged position on her bed.

"I know and that would be really helpful but it was locked plus I wouldn't have scared you and made you dribble beer if I had come in via the conventional option" Ashley teased making Spencer check her chin for excess beer which only made Ashley chuckle some more.

"I'm not above pushing you out of that window" Spencer threatened as she stood up and headed over to Ashley.

"Ok, at ease Carlin. How about you just give me one of those beers and I'll play nice" Ashley offered as she stood up taking a seat on the now vacant bed. Spencer handed Ashley a beer as she not so subtly admired the brunettes outfit. Ashley's tanned legs were barely covered by the small jean skirt and the hot pink bra that was poking out from beneath a cut up band shirt was enough to drive anyone insane.

"So how's your first party going?" Ashley asked as sipped the beer.

"It's more Glen's party than mine"

"Is that why you're hiding in your room?"

"I'm not hiding, just taking a break plus I have no idea who most of those people are"

"That's normally how these things go down. The amount of times I have woken to find randoms passed out around my house is crazy but don't worry I am here to get you through this" Ashley promised with a nose crinkling smile.

"My knight in shining armour" Spencer joked getting a light chuckle from Ashley in return.

"So how about we take a look around down there and see what's going on?" Ashley offered as she put her hand out for Spencer to take which the blonde did without a second thought. Ashley waited for Spencer to lock her door and then expertly weaved through the crowds with them finally ending up in the garden where a large game of 'I never' was being played. Ashley's eyes lit up and Spencer just looked nervous.

"Ok we are so playing this" Ashley said as she dragged Spencer to the circle of people planting them both of the floor.

"Ash I've never played this before" Spencer whispered not wanting to draw attention to her lack of experience.

"Ok basically you take it in turns to a something like 'I've never kissed a girl' and if you have done that thing then you drink" Ashley explained. Spencer figured it would be ok to play the game plus she was sat with Ashley's bare leg pressed against her own so even if she wanted to leave she wouldn't be able to.

"I've never cheated on a test" Some guy yelled from the other side of the circle. I fair few people drank including Ashley who laughed at Spencer's shocked expression.

"I've never had sex in a car" Another voice announced and once again Ashley drank while Spencer sat still.

"I've never slept with a girl" Ashley added as she downed some more beer but instead of Spencer being shocked the tables were turned. Ashley looked over at the clearly embarrassed blonde and couldn't believe that she hadn't drank. Moving around so they were cut off from the circle Ashley put her beer down.

"You never slept with Carmen?" Ashley asked sounding more shocked than she wanted to.

"No, I just never felt ready" Spencer admitted feeling like a complete loser.

"I was so sure that you had" Ashley stated as swigged some more beer.

"Well I can promise you that we didn't, she wanted to but I didn't feel ready to especially not with her. I mean there was one time that I was planning to but her not turning up was one of the best things that has happened" Spencer confessed feeling her cheeks get redder and redder.

"Why not her?" Ashley asked only feeling confident enough to ask these questions because of the beer in her system.

"I didn't love her and as lame as I might sound I think...no I know I want my first time to be with somebody I love. I know I sound like the worlds biggest loser but..." Spencer rambled her answer feeling the pressure from Ashley's intent glare.

"You're not a loser Spence, you're special and I wish that I had waited for somebody special" Ashley admitted feeling like the worlds biggest slut. She couldn't even remember the name of the girl she had first slept with and had spent a lot of time trying to forget the guy.

"So I need another drink" Spencer announced as she quickly stood up grabbing her empty beer bottle. Ashley soon followed and both girls looked at each other with a strange expression that neither of them had seen on the other before.


	26. Where We Land

Once again I apologise for the delays with all my fics, I'm a bad person I know. Anyway please enjoy the random update. As a gift I'm going to make this a long one xxx

Hide My Heart –Where We Land

Ashley was currently sat on a sofa watching Spencer as she interacted with some randoms at the party. Since Ashley had discovered that Spencer was still very much a virgin she had lost the ability to speak. The confession seemed to have affected Spencer as well as she was hitting the beer quite hard and had been pretty much silent around Ashley. Ashley looked down at her warm beer and swirled it around as contemplated her next move. The vital information had sent Ashley's head spinning ten- fold and she was more confused than ever. Looking back over at the slightly tipsy blonde Ashley noticed that one of the guys was getting a little bit too close for her liking and something took over her body. Dropping the beer on the floor she strutted over to Spencer and the offending jock strap. Spencer turned and smile at Ashley while the guy put his arm around Spencer's waist.

"Asssshhhhh" Spencer slurred but the guy kept her close which annoyed Ashley further.

"Come on Spence" Ashley replied holding Spencer's hand only to be intercepted by the guy.

"Your friend is fine here" He growled which snapped Spencer back to life.

"Actually I'm going to go with her" Spencer advised as she wiggled free from his tight grip only to be pulled back.

"Come on baby you know want to stay here….maybe we can go find somewhere more private" He pleaded holding Spencer close. Something snapped in Ashley again and without a second thought she used all her might to push the guy away making him stumble slightly but ultimately making him let go of Spencer. Ashley grabbed Spencer's hand and pulled her towards her and then heading off through the crowds. They could the guy yelling something in the background but neither of them cared. Ashley pulled Spencer up the stairs and up to the blonde's bedroom. Once inside both girls stood laughing.

"I can't believe you did that" Spencer laughed.

"I can't believe you were talking to that dick" Ashley replied with a disgusted expression.

"Well thank you for the rescue Ashley"

"Any time Spence" Ashley said softly as she took a seat on the bed next to Spencer. Silence took over the room once again and all that could be heard was the music from the party beneath them.

"So Colby dumped me" Ashley confessed from nowhere causing Spencer to snap her head back up so her eyes were now reaching Ashley's.

"I'm sorry Ash" Spencer stated but then started shaking her head in disagreement with her own statement.

"Actually I'm not sorry, don't get me wrong Colby was nice and you seemed good together but all that meant was that I really did have a chance with you. I know you said that we needed to be friends first and that the last time we kissed it all went really fucking wrong but all I think about when I'm near you is how much I want to kiss you again" Spencer explained as started pacing back and forth over her tiny rug. Ashley looked up nervously at Spencer and then back down to the ground as if Spencer's little rug would give her the words she was too scared to say out loud.

Spencer felt like vomiting as the silence became stronger and the more Ashley didn't look at her. Building up all of her courage Spencer knelt down in front of Ashley making the brunette look her in the eye.

"I'm going to kiss you in a few seconds Ashley….just so know" Spencer advised with caution as she edged closer to Ashley. Spencer stopped a few millimetres from Ashley's lips to give her the opportunity to move away but Ashley's hitched breathe gave Spencer all the encouragement she needed. Closing the minuscule gap between them Spencer gently pressed her lips against Ashley's and in perfect unison they shared the perfect kiss. It wasn't rushed or aggressive, it was simple and delicate as if both girls were scared that it would end too soon. Spencer grew in confidence and placed her shaky hand on Ashley's flushed cheek.

Ashley was the first to pull back but kept the distance between them slight and their bodies were still touching. Spencer waited for Ashley to talk with baited breathe and an unsteady heart.

"Wow" Ashley whispered with a smile which helped Spencer's heart beat at its normal pace.

"Stay with me tonight….no funny business or expectations" Spencer said not ready to let Ashley go.

"I don't think that's a good idea Spence" Ashley finally replied noticing Spencer's crest fallen expression straight away.

"It's just that I couldn't make any promises about no funny business rule" Ashley giggled relieved when the smile returned to Spencer's face.

"Go on a date with me tomorrow night Spencer" Ashley said from nowhere shocking Spencer.

"Ok" Spencer agreed with a kiss, this time leaning into Ashley more.

"I need to go Spencer but thank you for an awesome night" Ashley said pulling out of the kiss.

"It's still early" Spencer pouted.

"See it as self –preservation" Ashley smiled much to Spencer's confusion.

"Self-preservation?"

"If we carry on kissing then I won't be able to stop and whatever is happening between us needs to do so at a steady pace" Ashley explained as she opened the window preparing to climb out.

"We have a door Ashley, several in fact" Spencer pointed out as she walked towards the window.

"I know but I like that only a select few use this window" Ashley explained as she descended down the ladders which Spencer would now make a permanent fixture. She watched as Ashley stepped on to the grass and they shared a wave before the brunette climbed into her car and disappeared into the night.

Opening her eyes Spencer was relieved that the noise from the party had finally gone. Once Ashley had left Spencer stayed in her room mostly smiling like an idiot and praying that she wouldn't blow the chance she had been given. Rolling over and checking her clock she saw that it was 9am which meant Glen was probably still passed out somewhere which also meant that she would have to do most of the cleaning.

Throwing on an oversized hoodie she headed down the stairs but familiar voices made her pause and want to run a thousand miles away. As she was about to turn around and head back to her room she heard her name been called in a way she had always dreaded.

"SPENCER CARLIN GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW!" Paula shouted from the kitchen. Spencer figured that Glen was still asleep or had left before her parents had returned which was 2 days early. Edging towards the kitchen Spencer braced her -self for the worse. Paula Carlin looked beyond pissed, even the veins on her neck were starting to pop. Spencer entered the room where she knew she would be in for some choice words. Paula looked at her youngest child with nothing but anger and her father had a similar expression. The kitchen was covered in discarded plastic cups, beer can and general mess.

"Don't talk or try and get yourself out of this Spencer. Me and you Father are going out for breakfast, I want this house to be cleaner than it has ever been before. Get your stupid Brother up and get him to help you. You will be grounded for 2 weeks, no phone, no computer except for homework. No friends, no beach! You will go to school and then come straight home every night where you will stay in your room until told otherwise" Paula explained trying to stay calm but her red face suggested otherwise.

"No Mom please don't ground me….this was all Glen…it was just meant to be a few people" Spencer tried but the 'don't fuck with me' look on Paula's face made her stop trying. Her parents exited the house without a single word. Spencer bounded up the stairs into Glen's room where he was passed out with some random skank.

"Glen get up now!" Spencer shouted only to be ignored.

"Glen get the fuck up!" Spencer yelled again with less patience.

"Spencer get lost….I'm sleeping" Glen mumbled.

"I don't give a damn what you're doing Glen. Mom and Dad came home early and now because of your stupid party I'm grounded!" Spencer yelled feeling the tears in her eyes swelling up. She had a date with Ashley and now she would once again have to let her down.

"Ok…that sucks. You can leave now" Glen replied without opening his eyes. Spencer snapped and grabbed the beer from the side of the bed dumping it on Glen's head and then leaving the room.

Spencer started cleaning up straight away knowing it would be better to get it out the way whether Glen helped her or not. She had never been in trouble with her parents before especially not this much trouble. She had been grounded once in her whole life and that was because her and Aiden tried to drive Clay's car when they were 13 which resulted in them crashing through the garage door but even then Paula was reasonably calm.

Turning around Spencer saw Glen grabbing a bin bag and he started helping with the tidy up. They remained silent both knowing that there was no point in talking about what happened.

After 2 hours of cleaning, they were satisfied that the house was clean enough to pass a Paula Carlin inspection. Just as they were throwing away the last of the trash bags their parents pulled up. Paula walked up to Spencer and signalled for her to get into the living room. Once the Carlin clan were all in the spotless living room Spencer knew that her life was over for the next 2 weeks.

"First of all thank you for cleaning up the mess you both created. Secondly I can't help but feel disappointed by both of you, I mean Spencer you've never done anything like this before. Glen you're an adult now and you don't even live here anymore which makes it difficult for us to ground you so your punishment will be no car. You will leave your car here for 1 month and you can get the train or bus back to College"

"But Mom that's not fair" Glen whined like a child.

"Not fair is coming home to find your family home trashed by a bunch of delinquents! Especially when you put your trust into your children. Now Spencer as I said earlier you will be grounded for two weeks with no privileges and I mean it"

"But Mom it was all ass hats idea" Spencer argued knowing it was pointless but she was pissed off.

"I have no doubt that it was but you didn't stop him and you didn't tell us so you are both responsible for this"

"Guys we really did trust you both and if your Mother did have to work today then you would've got away with it. This whole thing is proof that going behind our backs is never going to work out well. Glen I suggest you get your stuff together and head back to College. Spencer you can go to your room and I'll be up to collect your phone and laptop" Arthur finally spoke. Both Carlin children nodded and sulked off to their rooms.

Spencer quickly grabbed her phone to send a message to Ashley to explain why she wouldn't able to attend their date that evening.

**Got busted for the srry cnt do date 2nite S x**

Spencer dropped her phone on to the bed as she waited for the reply. Within a few seconds her phone buzzed showing she had a message from Ashley.

**Srry u gt we will hv 2 do it anthr time A x**

Spencer sighed and prayed that Ashley believed her but knowing her luck she probably wouldn't. A light knock on her door pulled Spencer from her pity party.

"Hey Spence" Arthur smiled not being a big fan of punishing his children.

"Here's my laptop and phone" Spencer said under her breathe not wanting to give up the items. Arthur took the laptop from Spencer but handed back her phone.

"Mom said I couldn't have my phone"

"I know and as far as I know you gave me your phone. I suggest you keep that thing on silent and hidden. If you are caught with that I will deny all knowledge of this exchange" Arthur laughing giving Spencer a hug.

"Love you Dad"

"Love you too Spence and so does your Mother"

"I'd find that easier to believe if I wasn't been held hostage in my own room"

"Don't push Spence, I can soon turn the good cop act off" Arthur warned.

"Fine…well this will be a lame Saturday" Spencer sighed as she lay on her bed.

During her time on lock down Spencer had rearrange her cds and dvds in to alphabetical order, she had become a master at shooting basketball with screwed up paper and bin. Her Mother had told her that she needed to clean the pool which still had crap in from the party. While struggling with the large net that scooped crap from the pool Spencer saw a familiar head pop over the fence.

"Heard you got busted for the party?" Aiden said as he looked over at Spencer with a sympathetic smile.

"Yea don't get too close otherwise I'll have to do a stint in solitary" Spencer joked checking that parents were nowhere to be seen. Paula had gone to work and Arthur was in his office.

"Sucks dude hope it was worth it"

"Kind of was"

"Oh yea?"

"Ashley asked me to go on a date with her tonight"

"That's awesome are you excited"

"I was but Paula Carlin has decided that as further punishment I would be grounded for 2 weeks. I text Ash this morning to tell her that I couldn't make it. I feel so bad Aid, I have constantly fucked up when it comes to Ashley and tonight was my time to get it right"

"You'll get your chance again Spence don't worry"

"Fingers crossed. So what's it like on the outside?" Spencer laughed.

"Dude you've been grounded for like 5 hours!" Aiden replied.

"I know and it's killing me. Look a better head back inside but feel free to pop over later" Spencer offered meaning Aiden could sneak in through her window which he hadn't done for a while.

"Will see what I can do. Later Spencer" Aiden promised as he headed back to his house. Spencer downed tools and went into kitchen to grab her-self a drink. Spotting her Father doing some washing up Spencer gave him a smile.

"How's Aiden?" Arthur asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I have no idea what you're talking about" Spencer replied lamely.

"Of course you don't. Just play by your Mom's rules and I'm sure she'll reduce the sentence for good behaviour"

"Doubt it. Anyway I'm going to stare at my bedroom walls for a few more hours"

"Well I was about to watch the game and I guess if I'm already watching it you could join me without breaking the rules too much" Arthur offered.

"You're my favourite prison guard" Spencer beamed as she dropped onto the sofa. She had left her cell up stairs knowing that at some point she would be dumb enough to answer it or whatever in front of her Mother.

Spencer had enjoyed watching the game with her Dad and had made her realise that she hadn't really spent any time with him in quite a while. Paula had returned home as Spencer was watching the game but she seemed ok with the fact that her newly grounded Daughter was spending time with her father even if it included the banned T.V. Spencer had helped to cook dinner which despite being part of her punishment so actually quite enjoyed. After her dinner Spencer took off to her bedroom eager to check her phone but she was only disappointed when she had no messages. Collapsing on to her bed Spencer grabbed a random magazine and attempted to read it but all she could think about was where she was supposed to be that night. Her inner musings were interrupted by a rustling by her window. She figured that Aiden had taken her up on her offer but she was more than surprised when she saw a smiling Ashley leaning though her window. Spencer quickly stood up and headed over to the window.

"What are you doing here?" Spencer whispered.

"We had date and I'll be damned if we miss it" Ashley smiled nearly melting Spencer's heart on the spot.

"That's really sweet but my Mom will kill me if she finds you up here" Spencer replied nervously, her Mother had crazy hearing.

"Don't worry I've got it covered" Ashley explained signalling to Aiden's back yard where his parents were having a small get together.

"I don't understand" Spencer said dumbly.

"Well Aiden's parents are about to ask your parents to their extremely impromptu anniversary party which they can't refuse because they have been friends for so long" Ashley continued until she heard a knock at Spencer's bedroom door. She removed her- self from the window and lay as flat as she could. Spencer quickly opened her bedroom door.

"Sweetie it seems that Aiden has been kind enough to throw his parents a surprise anniversary party. Obviously you are invited but as per your punishment you can't come. Your Father and I are going to show our faces and then we'll be home. I'm sure I don't need to go over the rules again" Paula advised.

"Nope they are burned into my memory thank you" Spencer deadpanned.

"Have fun honey" Paula kissed Spencer's head and then disappeared into her own room. Spencer quickly made sure she was gone before heading back to her window where Ashley was lying on the roof trying not to move.

"Come on dork get in here, you will have to be quiet until they leave" Spencer instructed as Ashley climbed through the window. As if on cue there was a knock at Spencer's door. Without thinking Spencer shoved Ashley into her wardrobe and closed the door on the confused brunette.

"Mom you don't need to go over the rules again" Spencer stated as she opened the door to her less than impressed Mother.

"I should hope not. We are leaving now; we will be back no later than 12. You may watch Television while we're gone but that's it" Paula warned with a wave as she made her way out of the house. Once Spencer was sure they were gone for good she opened the door to the wardrobe revealing a less than impressed Ashley.

"That was uncalled for" Ashley gasped as she fought through the clothing to get back out.

"You have no idea how scary that woman is"

"I think I do. Anyway, we have like 3 hours to have an awesome first date" Ashley pointed out looking at her watch.

"We could watch T.V" Spencer offered having no idea what they could do.

"Lame! Luckily one of us came prepared" Ashley sang as she went back to the window. Leaning out she reached down and pulled some items into the bedroom including a picnic basket. Spencer watched in amazement as Ashley lay down a blanket on her floor.

"You really put a lot of thought into this" Spencer exclaimed as Ashley signalled for her to take a sit on the blanket.

"I had no choice Spencer. After you text me this morning I couldn't stand the thought of waiting any longer for this to happen" Ashley explained as she pulled out a bottle of pepsi, vodka and cherry liquor.

"Cherry Carlin?" Ashley asked with a cheeky smile.

"You're actually pretty awesome aren't you?"

"Jury's still out on that one. Anyway I can't cook as it's not safe for me to do so especially for other people so I grab some ice cream because I know you like that. I also have some cherry jelly sweets and Cheetos" Ashley said as she pulled out each individual item.

"Ok that is the strangest selection of 'food' I have ever seen and it only makes me wonder how the hell you have the body you do?" Spencer asked.

"You been checking out my body Carlin?" Ashley replied with a raised eyebrow as she mixed some drinks.

"Maybe"

"I don't blame you I'm hot. Oh I forgot something" Ashley quickly jumped up and grabbed some candles from her bag laying them around the room and lighting them and then turned off the light then quickly joined Spencer back on the ground.

"This is amazing" Spencer smiled as she sipped her drink.

"It's the best I could do under the circumstances"

"Well once I'm off lockdown I will be paying you back…..if we go on a 2nd date"

"Why wouldn't we?"

"You might decide here in my bedroom, lit by cancel light that you possibly don't like me and that after all the shit that's happened wasn't actually worth it" Spencer said hoping her words weren't offensive.

"Look Spencer I know that we have been chasing our tails since we met, just going around in circles but at this very moment in time, in your bedroom, lit by candles I couldn't be happier and I'm hoping with everything in me that this works out"

"What changed your mind?"

"Honestly it was last night when you said that you and Carmen hadn't had sex" Ashley answered praying her honesty wouldn't cause any more issues.

"Why would that matter to you or to us?" Spencer replied with a frown.

"I thought you had given everything to Carmen which is why I was so hurt by everything that happened. This sounds so dumb and selfish but knowing that you didn't sleep with Carmen meant was a huge relief to me because it meant that you never loved her" Ashley explained.

"It took me a while to realise that Carmen was hitting on me at first and then after I met you I realised that I liked girls, which sounds stupid but I have never felt so attracted to somebody but you kept blowing hot and cold with me. While you were doing Carmen asked me out, she was cute and kind so it made sense. I think in all honesty I said yes to Carmen because you were being so weird plus I didn't even know you gay for sure. That night that you asked me to kiss you to prove I didn't like you was the hardest thing I have ever done, the look on your face broke my heart but I that didn't stop me from liking you Ash. What I'm trying to say is I think subconsciously I wanted my first time to be with you" Spencer finally stopped rambling and even though they were hashing over old issues it felt good and Ashley couldn't help but smile. Ashley didn't have the words to explain how Spencer had made her feel with her speech so she leaned over and kissed. The kiss was laced with meaning, passion and want. Spencer let Ashley over power as she leaned back so she was now lying on the floor as Ashley hovered above her laying soft kisses along her shoulders and up her exposed neck.

"SPENCE….COME IN SPENCER" A crackly voice came booming through the room making both girls jump half a foot in the air. Spencer reached up and grabbed a walkie talkie from her bedside table bringing the contraption to her mouth while Ashley was still lying on top of her.

"Spencer here, what's up?"

"Your parents are leaving. I REPEAT YOUR PARENTS ARE LEAVING" Aiden advised sounding out of breathe. Spencer sat up as Ashley moved off her and she headed to the window where she saw Aiden talking to Arthur and Paula as if he was trying to stall them. Ashley started packing everything away throwing the basket into the wardrobe and blowing out the candles.

"Spence they're going to see me if I go out the window" Ashley panicked.

"Back in the closet for you Davies" Spencer replied as she shoved Ashley again. Spencer casually lay on her bed with a magazine waiting for her Mother to check on her. As predicted there was a knock on the door.

"Come in" Spencer yelled.

"Hi Honey we had to leave the party early. I'm heading back into work so your Dad is going to spend a bit longer at the party" Paula explained as she looked around the room, some sort of parent sixth sense.

"That's a shame Mom" Spencer continued to read her magazine.

"Yes it is. Well I'll see you in the morning" Paula finally said as she closed the door. Spencer looked over to the closet and she could hear Ashley snickering to herself. Spencer waited a few minutes until she heard the front door close.

She walked over to the closet and pulled Ashley out, pulling her into a kiss.

"That was very close Miss Davies" Spencer muttered in between kisses.

"You're right I should go" Ashley admitted with a pout.

"Stay….please" Spencer pleaded wrapping her arms around Ashley's waist.

"As much as this pains me to say Spencer I don't that would be a good idea" Ashley replied knowing she regret her decision. She wanted to stay but considering Spencer's grounding and the fact that they were still on thin ice as it was she didn't want to push it.

"You're right….damn it" Spencer sighed.

"I'll make you a deal. While you're grounded and banned from any form of a life I'll come visit you" Ashley offered which got her a huge smile from Spencer in return.

"Sounds like a fair deal I suppose" Spencer agreed with a small kiss to Ashley's cheek making the shorter girl blush slightly.

"Good night Spencer…..sweet dreams" Ashley gave Spencer one last kiss before climbing out of the window making sure that she wasn't spotted by Mr Carlin or any other adult spies.


	27. Here Goes Again

I have no idea how many times I have apologised for not updating my stories. Truth be told I get busy and forget. I will try to be better but I make no promises.

Thank you to everybody that takes any time out of their lives to read anything that I write, even if you hate it. Please continue to read and let me know what you think.

Hide Me Heart- Here it goes again

Spencer waited patiently for her nightly visit. Ashley had kept to her promise and had now secretly visited Spencer for 3 nights in a row during her lock down. They had spent the time talking and actually getting to know each other properly. Ashley had spent a lot of the time explaining the details of her legal woes. She had finally requested full custody of Kyla and her step father was not going to give in with a battle. Ashley was worried she would lose and then Kyla would be the one that would be punished for the idea. Spencer had sat and listened like a good friend and had even refrained from kissing Ashley in spite of how beautiful she looked in the moon light.

Checking her phone Spencer started to wander whether Ashley would making an appearance at all that night. Deciding to give Ashley the benefit of doubt Spencer headed down the stairs to get a drink from the kitchen. Arthur Carlin was sat quietly reading some files from the office.

"Hey Kiddo" Arthur stated smiling kindly at Spencer.

"Still working Dad?" Spencer questioned in a worried tone.

"Just finishing something up and then I plan on collapsing somewhere dark and quiet" Arthur advised as he turned his attention back to his paper work.

"I'm about to do the same thing" Spencer lied as she grabbed two bottles of pepsi from the refrigerator.

"Thirsty?" Arthur asked as he spotted the two drinks. The panic in his daughter's eyes was priceless as she tried to think of an excuse.

"Yep...homework is thirsty work" Spencer grimaced as she lied.

"So is Ashley a big drinker of Pepsi as well then?" Arthur quizzed trying to keep a straight face as Spencer twirled around shocked.

"I have no idea" Spencer choked.

"Spence I'm many things but stupid isn't one of them. I've seen her twice this week so far and I can hear you talking" Arthur explained not seeming to mad which relaxed Spencer slightly.

"I'm sorry Dad...I'll tell Ashley not to come again" Spencer advised glumly.

"Spencer I see no harm in what you're doing other than the lying and sneaking around. I am willing to look the other way because you two are finally making some head way and this is the happiest you've been in weeks. However if your Mother catches you I will deny all knowledge and will use my scary voice if needed" Arthur explained with a kind smile on his face before turning to the window that overlooked the back yard.

"Ashley is in my rose bush. I thought I'd freak her out by constantly sitting by the window. She's been in there for like 20 minutes" Arthur giggled to himself. Spencer couldn't help but let out a giggle. She opened the back door looking for Ashley who was very well hidden.

"Ash we've been busted get out here" Spencer yelled into the darkness. Ashley finally appeared looking slightly dishevelled and embarrassed.

"Hey Mr Carlin" Ashley mumbled as she fell of the bushes.

"I see you picked up your ninja skills from Spencer. Might I suggest you get a better teacher in the future if you want to carry on visiting Spence while she's grounded" Arthur suggested with a sly smile. Ashley blushed slightly and offered an apologetic smile.

"Yes sir" Ashley stuttered.

"I'm going to bed now ladies. Spencer your Mother will be home in 2 hours so I suggest you keep an eye on the time and keep the chatting to more of a whisper" Arthur kissed Spencer on the forehead as he left the girls in the kitchen.

"I thought we were being so stealth" Ashley giggled once she felt it was safe to do so.

"I thought you weren't coming" Spencer stated as she moved closer to Ashley.

"Hey I promised I'd be here and I was but just stuck in a bush while your Dad played a cruel game with me" Ashley pouted.

"Come on ninja let's get up stairs" Spencer instructed as she took Ashley's hand in her own.

Ashley entered Spencer's room and plopped down on the bed already tired from a long day. Spencer offered her a drink which she happily accepted, hiding in bushes was hard work after all.

"So how was your day?" Spencer asked as she took a seat on a bean bag.

"Annoying. My step dad has drafted in some super lawyer and is making everything really difficult"

"How so?"

"As Kyla isn't 16 yet it means that she can't legally choose where she lives especially if an appointed guardian isn't there so she is having to stay at home. Luckily Aiden is refusing to leave so Jim can't take his frustration out on her but that won't work for long" Ashley sighed.

"She turns 16 soon right?"

"In 2 weeks so I just have to stay calm until then and then she can choose to live with me and the rest should be easy" Ashley replied.

"I'm sorry Ashley...you know I'd understand if you would rather be at home than here with me" Spencer offered with a genuine smile.

Ashley looked almost hurt by the suggestion. She moved to floor so that she was eye level with Spencer.

"Spencer I really wouldn't want to be anywhere else but here with you right now. This is the longest we have managed to go without arguing and I refuse to ruin our good run"

"I would understand though"

"I know you would Spence. So on a more positive note is it looking likely that you'll get off early for good behaviour?" Ashley asked knowing that Spencer had been trying to be the perfect daughter for the past 3 days to impress Paula.

"I have no idea. My Mom is like an expert in not revealing her emotions unless she's mad or disappointed. Aiden has a game on Friday so I was hoping I'd be able to persuade her to at least let me go to the game"

"If sitting through a stupid basketball game means I get to spend some time with you then I'm there" Ashley smiled as she leaned in and kissed Spencer softly. They had kept the kissing down to a minimum for the time being as they were still trying to just keep things uncomplicated. That task alone was difficult for both girls and the frustration was clear every time one of them pulled away. Ashley smiled sweetly and took her seat on the bed which was a safe enough distance to prevent any impromptu kissing or touching of any description.

"How was school?"

"Lame really. Aiden had football practice during lunch and Kyla had cheer leading practice as well so I sat alone. Carmen tried to talk to me again and I told her to me alone _again"_ Spencer explained feeling the need to completely open with Ashley.

"So are you two like really over?" Ashley asked shyly.

"Ashley I can't even think of a word that would describe just how over Carmen and I are. She is totally in my past now, I am willing to tell her that everyday if I have to"

"Where does that leave us?" Ashley had had no intention of having this conversation with Spencer especially not so early on in their new found friendship/relationship but she just wanted to know for her own sanity.

"Wherever you want it to Ashley. I know exactly what I want and I've known for a while now even though I never really made it obvious to you and mostly acted like a dick. I am here and like I said before if you're not ready that's fine because I will wait as long as you want me to" Spencer advised but the look on Ashley's face made her realise that the brunette needed to hear more.

"Ashley timing has always being our issue, well that and the fact that I have been really self obsessed in the past but at this very moment in time it all makes sense. You don't have to hide who you are any more, neither of us are seeing anybody else and you're already in my bed so it just makes sense" Spencer smiled as Ashley giggled at her last comment.

"I promise you that we can make this work with some time and effort. I'm still new to all of this but every time I look at you I know that I want to be with you and that I want to make you smile everyday" Spencer continued finally finishing as she looked at Ashley with an expectant gaze.

"Get over here Carlin" Ashley demanded patting the bed next to her. Spencer moved as instructed and took a seat next to Ashley.

"You're doing pretty good at the smiling thing" Ashley stated as she leaned in and kissed Spencer more passionately than before. Ashley was slowly forgetting all the drama that had happened since they had met, some doubt still sat there in the back of her mind but she knew she couldn't let that hold her back. Ashley had wanted Spencer for so long and she wasn't going to let a few set backs stop that from happening. The kiss deepened and hands started to roam until Spencer pulled away leaving both girls gasping for air.

"You're a good kisser" Spencer panted.

"Yea I know" Ashley boasted as she leaned back on the pillow laying out her arm for Spencer to snuggle into her.

"I'm going to let you cockiness slide this time but that ego of yours needs to be deflated slightly" Spencer joked as she moved in close to Ashley so that their bodies were pressed together.

"Tell me something I don't know about you Spencer Carlin" Ashley asked as they lay together peacefully. It was the first time since the night Ashley turned up drunk that they had actually lay together. It wasn't that they hadn't wanted to before but neither of them wanted to get too close just in case.

"You were the first person that I have slept with" Spencer admitted.

"When did this happen because I'm pretty sure that I would remember that" Ashley replied.

"I don't mean like 'slept' with I mean like 'slept' with as in two people just lying together" Spencer explained.

"You're the first person that I've ever slept with as well" Ashley confessed placing a kiss on Spencer's forehead.

"But...without sounding rude haven't spent a lot of time with other girls" Spencer pointed out trying her best not to call Ashley a slut.

"That 'time' as you so innocently put it was not spent snuggling Spence. As slutty as I may have been during a certain period of my life I still had standards when it came to intimacy as stupid as that sounds. I mean really sleeping next to somebody is an intimate act and I would only ever do it with somebody I felt completely comfortable with" Ashley tried her best to explain at the risk of sounding stupid.

"Surely sex is far more intimate" Spencer pointed out.

"Depends what your reason is for having sex. If like me it was normally to forget about everything else...it was never to be close to somebody or to feel anything with that person. As shallow and sad as it sounds I used sex like some people use alcohol or drugs...kind of like a numbing agent. Even though I gave away my virginity for a stupid reason I always promised myself that I would keep a part of me for somebody special and I did" Ashley continued hoping Spencer would understand.

Spencer didn't feel the need to reply she just snuggled closer into Ashley and they both let the silence wash over them. Taking the time to just enjoy each one and other for the first time since they met and it felt good.


	28. Authors note

Hope you all enjoyed the last chapter. In regards to this story I do have an alternative that I have been working on every now and again. Basically it is the same characters and premise but slightly different outcomes and events. After re reading the story recently I found so many things that I would now change so figured why the hell not, it's my story after all. Just trying to gage some interest, so if you would like to see the alternative version of Hide My Heart then let me know and I will start posting. If for any reason I don't get enough interest to bother posting it on this site then PM me and I will send it to your email or what ever.

HAPPY NEW YEAR as well xxx


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